Time to shit on your favorite games!

[Bob_McMillan]

Nothing makes a gamer happier than being given a chance to take a poop all over his favorite game.

For me, I fuckin love the Arkham series, though I missed out on Arkham Asylum. I dislike Origins for so many reasons, but that's another story. Anyway, as much as I love Rocksteady, pretty much every good guy look like a badly made action figure. Batman does not move like a normal human being, his character model is horrendous, and the Batsuit could have used a lot more attention. Gordon is just... boring. Nightwing looks like an anime character, and Robin looks like someone spray painted his costume on. Catwoman is annoyingly boring. Her hypersexualization is debatable, but whatever. Almost every other character, especially the villains, are 100 percent better, even the small fry look good.

Another aspect of the games i hate is that they sell you characters that as a fan you genuinely want and would spend money for, but they restrict them to challenge mode, even if mods show that you can have them in open world. They'd better fix this up for Arkham Knight.

Lastly, I think the series would benefit from LESS DLC. Jeez, not to mention the DLC is never really that good. Skins, yay... challenge maps, woohoo... MOAR challenge maps *snore* And the challenge maps actually have some pretty cool things in them, if you're actually patient enough to finish the first million rounds to get to the final.

So what do you hate about the game that you wish you could bear the children of?

 

[DrGonzo]

Nothing makes a gamer happier than being given a chance to take a poop all over his favorite game.

For me, I fuckin love the Arkham series, though I missed out on Arkham Asylum. I dislike Origins for so many reasons, but that's another story. Anyway, as much as I love Rocksteady, pretty much every good guy look like a badly made action figure. Batman does not move like a normal human being, his character model is horrendous, and the Batsuit could have used a lot more attention. Gordon is just... boring. Nightwing looks like an anime character, and Robin looks like someone spray painted his costume on. Catwoman is annoyingly boring. Her hypersexualization is debatable, but whatever. Almost every other character, especially the villains, are 100 percent better, even the small fry look good.

Another aspect of the games i hate is that they sell you characters that as a fan you genuinely want and would spend money for, but they restrict them to challenge mode, even if mods show that you can have them in open world. They'd better fix this up for Arkham Knight.

Lastly, I think the series would benefit from LESS DLC. Jeez, not to mention the DLC is never really that good. Skins, yay... challenge maps, woohoo... MOAR challenge maps *snore* And the challenge maps actually have some pretty cool things in them, if you're actually patient enough to finish the first million rounds to get to the final.

So what do you hate about the game that you wish you could bear the children of?

LOL I came in here to post almost the exact same thing TC. Yeah the DLC is usually quite weak and its unfortunate that Origins (the weakest in the series) has the best SP DLC out of them all. The MP mode of Origins totally sucked as well (oh yes, has everybody forgotten that this game had MP? the people that bought the game did about a week after launch). The concept was cool but the execution just felt wonky and unfair at times.

Also some of Batman's dialogue in Asylum is absolutely cringe worthy. "I eat punks like this for breakfast"... seriously Dini?

 

[Neverhoodian]

I love The Neverhood (as you could probably tell). I'm a huge fan of the claymation visuals, wacky humor and bonkers soundtrack. It's one of the few point-and-click adventure titles I enjoyed, and the only one I enjoyed enough to play through multiple times.

Having said all that, there's one aspect of the game I despise; its reliance on needlessly difficult puzzles. It starts off relatively simple with things like a sliding block puzzle and a "match the music" segment. However, they gradually increase in complexity and abstractness until they eventually reach the inner sanctum of absurdity. Shooting a laser beam through crystals that have to be perfectly aligned. A matching picture puzzle with 48 tiles that completely resets every time you miss. Inputting a long string of symbols on a display that you have to remember (or jot down) from a matching display on the other side of the game world. These segments sabotage the game's pacing and are a huge immersion-killer for me. I only hope Armikrog's puzzles won't be so obtuse.

 

[StriderShinryu]

I love me some fighting games, with Tekken and Street Fighter being two of my all time favourite series, but both really seriously need some sort of proper tutorial and training modes. As someone who knows enough and has played long enough to not really need them any more, I can still see how their complexity and required learning scares away far too many otherwise interested players. I also think Tekken's juggle system can be way too silly at times and that SF's growing reliance on extremely tight input links and option selects (both of which in some senses actually require using unintended game functions/glitches to do) really bother me. Oh, and online play needs to work better and have better match making so that, once again, the newer players and those of lower skill aren't so often forced into situations that scare them away from the genre.

 

[1Life0Continues]

I'm a Borderlands addict. I have played each and every game through to completion (barring the latest although I have finished the storyline once) and bought all the DLC...even those stupid headhunter packs for BL2.

I hate the reliance on bulletsponge enemies. A lot. There's only so much suspension of disbelief I can have when the same Psycho's I've been fighting for 12 levels are now suddenly a little more impervious to bullets and even criticals for some unknown reason.

I also have a love-hate relationship with the character classes, in that more often than not it's beneficial to specialise in a single tree. However, there certain skills in other trees that complement your current tree perfectly, but you can't get to because they are halfway down it. For instance in TPS, Athena's Xiphos tree is centered around melée, however that leaves you open to serious elemental damage about halfway through the game, since at that point nearly every encounter has enemies that use elemental attacks that can cripple you quite quickly. Now there are multiple ways around this, from shield types, to tactics, but the better option to upgrade Athena's action skill Aspis to absorb and reflect elemental damage....except that's halfway down a different tree. Frustrating.

Finally, the horrendously transparent push to play in co-op. Every. Single. Game. Guys, I get it, the game is more fune in co-op. I know. I have played a few times with others, and it's been a blast. But if I waited for my very few friends to be ready to play a session, I'd be waiting for months at a time. And I'm sorry, I find the games far too much fun to pis about waiting. While it is possible to solo (with atrocious grinding) when you clearly design the game around the co-op nature (with support skills specifically designed to boost others, making solo play in that tree nearly pointless even if it has a few great skills way down the bottom) really makes me a tad upset.

Anyway. Did I answer the question? If not, too bad. If so, great.

 

[DrOswald]

X-Com: Enemy Within is one of my favorite games ever.

But...

The UFO intercept mini game is stupid and boring
The difficulty curve is horrible
The mechanics of the game are poorly balance around the idea of perma death
Snipers are too good and promote boring gameplay
Squad size is too small
Each individual of the xcom fighting force is way too important.
Many of the secondary items and options are just plain bad (looking at you snapshot)
Classic is too easy, Impossible isn't fun
Exalt is uninteresting
SHUT UP VAHLEN I USE GRENADES AS I PLEASE
SHIV's are awesome but useless
The pacing of the game is bad
You start the game without anything interesting or fun
randomly assigned classes is a bad mechanic and always will be

 

[visiblenoise]

Metal Gear Solid series: getting caught is such a chore. Escaping and evading doesn't ever feel good, and even when you do manage it, you have to wait for the alert timer. If I had a choice between the current countdown system and just having it automatically restart the level, I'd probably choose the latter.

 

[Leonardo Huizar]

I wish there were easier ways to level up in RPGs like Bethesda Games without having to exploit glitches

Id seriously pay $5 for a Easy XP/extra loot/quick cash DLC or alternately if they set certain high reward grind areas with special enemies depending on what you want to level up.

In Castlevania:Symphony Of the Night Id rather sacrifice 'Critical Damage' for Guaranteed Items. Its not like you can sell any of them and exploit a money glitch [besides the jewels]

 

[vledleR]

Red Alert 2:
-Infantry is way too small on the highest resolution
-Allowing engineers to cap a building at full HP is stupid
-Pathfinding..oh gahd the pathfinding!
-Too many useless "incoming transmissions" during campaign. Save the cheesy cutscenes for the briefings.
-The most imba expansion ever

 

[Fox12]

I love FF7. I love the story. I love the characters. But I hate cait sith, I hate cross dressing cloud, and most of all, I hate that they make tifa dress like a street walker. For all of its brilliance, that game can get weird. There are a few things they could do without, if they ever chose to remake the title.

More than anything, though, I hate the ending to mass effect th-

 

[Maximum Bert]

Hard mode is also really really hard. Oh, do 3 torture attacks on some Graces and Glories with no witch time. and do t before time runs out? Ugh. Maybe I just have to use some yellow lollipops, but still.

Hard mode isnt to bad but that bit at the start is one of the hardest sections in the entire run through (if you dont know what to do its near impossible) I think I used Scarborough Fair and did the P (hold) P (hold) P (Hold) combo (been a long time I think that was the combo though) to gain magic meter really fast then bam torture attack you dont need any lolly pops but if you feel it would alleviate the stress it would be one of the best places to use one.

Throw in the PKP combo with the sword for pretty much everything else and the killgore switch combo for large bosses and you will destroy hard mode and if you can beat hard mode Infinite Climax is exactly the same just without witch time, now infinite climax on Bayonetta 2 is just brutal unless you cheese it (then its a cakewalk).

Two things really bother me about FFVII one is great glacier which I hate although now its not so bad since I know the place pretty damn well and secondly the field models look horrible that said they havent aged at all mainly because they looked crap in 1997 and they look crap now.

 

[DrOswald]

I love FF7. I love the story. I love the characters. But I hate cait sith, I hate cross dressing cloud, and most of all, I hate that they make tifa dress like a street walker. For all of its brilliance, that game can get weird. There are a few things they could do without, if they ever chose to remake the title.

More than anything, though, I hate the ending to mass effect th-

Wait, you think tifa dresses like a street walker? (I am assuming you mean a street whore here) You must have very different whores where you come from.

 

[Fox12]

I love FF7. I love the story. I love the characters. But I hate cait sith, I hate cross dressing cloud, and most of all, I hate that they make tifa dress like a street walker. For all of its brilliance, that game can get weird. There are a few things they could do without, if they ever chose to remake the title.

More than anything, though, I hate the ending to mass effect th-

Wait, you think tifa dresses like a street walker? (I am assuming you mean a street whore here) You must have very different whores where you come from.

Hah, fair enough.

But they Aren't exactly subtle are they? A heaving large chest with a tight white shirt, suspenders, and a black leather mini skirt that she has to straighten after every battle? Really square? I preferred her sportier design in later games, even if said games were awful. At least it suited her role as a martial artist.

"Dilly dally shilly shal-"

Shut up!

Captcha: way to go!
Why, thank you captcha.

 

[SycoMantis91]

It's hard to pick a favorite, but Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic is the first that came to mind:

-Why is the most dull female your only male romance option?

-If you're supposed to have such influence, why don't you even have the option to turn some? Or other random people? That'd be hard to add but it'd be sweet.

-Your level cap is lower than your (soilers) former apprentice, by a lot.

-Taris

-Jolee is so weak. Why?

-I'd love a post-game

-The PC port is clunky

-Never play this on a 360

-Lack of physical customization

-Is there any reason to not fight any Jedi Masters near the evil ending?

-Load times

-These are all minor but it's so good.

 

[ninja666]

I'm a fan of the first Dark Souls. It was a game that felt really refreshing, especially since I was kinda on a dry spell on my favorite type of game - fantasy action(rpg). The game has a lot of flaws, though.

It doesn't tell you jack shit about anything and you have to spend hours upon hours reading up all about it on the internet. It also doesn't have any sort of a save slot system, it just saves your character's progress every time you quit the game, which, combined with unforgivable nature of the game itself, can lead to many moments of frustration. I remember my reaction when I was just by the swamp in Blighttown, struggling to get through it without getting killed on the way (the muck in it was so thick, the character could move at a strolling pace at best) and then learning that there exists a ring that lets you walk on any type of footing without any speed loss... and it's lying on a corpse in the tutorial dungeon, at a place you weren't able to access during the tutorial itself, but rather after defeating the first major boss of the game. I can tell ya that now - the reaction wasn't really pleasant. Plus I probably used up all the swear words in my vocabulary while going back up. This whole shit wouldn't have happened if there was a save state from before Blighttown I could load. Either that or at least a clue that there's an item in the Asylum that I absolutely need to have and it'd be wise to go back there and pick it up. Another thing is the difficulty balance. While most of the time the game seems fair and manageable, after subsequent playthroughs you start to notice that the game kinda lacks balance between playstyles. Agile, light-armored, dexterity-based spellswords have it significantly easier than pure melee tanks. It shows especially during fights with enemies that hit so hard, any attempt at blocking eats up all your stamina and leaves you open for certain death, while dodging said attack leaves the enemy open for an attack of yours. It happens more often than not, especially with bigger enemies like Anor Londo Sentinels or Royal Wood Stone Guardians.

 

[SeventhSigil]

Big fan of both Skyrim and Oblivion, though they have plenty of flaws; the reason they're among my favorites is, simply, because they inevitably seem to inspire me a sense of wanderlust that few other games have managed to do. Even other open world, or open worldish, fantasy titles don't scratch the same itch, as in Skyrim and Oblivion I am perfectly happy to strap a metaphorical knapsack on and go adventuring, even if I've already done most of the sidequests before. Heck, I recently swapped in my old Standard Definition fatback TV for a shiny new 40 inch 1080p, popped in Skyrim to see how it looked, and got sucked right back into playing through it with a brand new character. xP Also, I played it (and still do) on PS3, so all that bug bullshit we went through is a given. =P

Okay, okay, I understand that the whole 'You Can Pretty Much End Up As Leaders Of All The Factions Simultaneously' is to keep you, the poor player, from having to do multiple play-throughs, but seriously, in both Oblivion AND Skyrim, the title of Archmage is underwhelming for the simple reason that you can be- and in my case with Skyrim Run Number Two Of Like Five, was- the most piss-poor mage on the face of the planet, barely able to boil water, and apparently still get the title, despite the fact that you are surrounded by mages significantly more powerful, experienced, and just generally competent. Sure, granted, in Oblivion I killed that big, bad, Necromancer (It's called a SWORD, people!) but in Skyrim I got the job because I just happened to be the one to dungeon crawl for the plot-necessary staff. Heck, at least Skyrim's Thieves Guild required an (admittedly frustratingly designed) extensive amount of actual thieving/forgery/etc before they declared you to be the boss. -_- An Archmage, for me at least, is supposed to inspire the idea of power, supreme knowledge, wisdom and mastery over magic... only with my character as the titled Archmage, it just made it feel like a purely administrative position.

While we're on the topic of the magic system, Skyrim's is basically a more hacked-down version of Oblivion's arsenal, which in turn seemed to be a hacked-down version of Morrowind's arsenal. Now, the lack of 'coolness' can likely be attributed to most of the really juicy and creative stuff being relegated to Dragon Shouts, but I couldn't help but think that it wasn't until the third-level Destruction spells- Fireball, etc- that it really became useful in combat. The first level spells lacked extensive range, the second level spells had PLENTY of range, but good luck trying to hit a moving target, (at least higher bow perks allowed time to slow while aiming,) it wasn't until the spells did splash damage on impact that you really felt formidable as a pure magic user. Before then, I'd usually just use Destruction spells in combat to... well, level them up so I could get tier three. >_<

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I think I can bullet-point some...there are a lot of games that I really like after all so here it goes...

Ocarina of Time

*really wish I could outright skip dialog
*The magic crystals are mostly useless...the shield was alright though
*The golden gauntlets were also useless outside of one or two cut-scenes
*BACKTRACKING!

Pokemon RPGs in general

*You literally can NOT catch 'em all after gen 1
*Even in Blue/Green/Red/Yellow, if you want Mew you have to exploit a glitch
*Why can't event-Pokemon be purchased as DLC?
*I HATE GAMEFREAK FOR MAKING ME THINK THAT!
*Why have there been so many Fire/Fighting starters? Grass/Fighting makes more sense to me (don't ask why, I don't know)

Mario Kart

*Mario Kart 8 lacks a proper option screen
*Why do I need split-screen on MK8 when one person can literally just use the gamepad and the other use the TV?!
*I want an item-free grand prix
*I would love to see Mario Kart turn into Nintendo All-Star Racing...we should have had that instead of MK8 and MK8 could have been made into F-Zero Universe or whatever

Mario Platformers

*Invite Daisy to an adventure...or have Bowser kidnap her...whatever
*Let Wart kidnap the Princesses again. We haven't fought him in over a decade
*We haven't fought Tartanga in an even longer amount of time!
*Tartanga in general needs to make a come-back
*Waluigi hasn't been in these either you know...let HIM kidnap a Princess or two.
*There are far fewer Wario platformers than Mario and while that is expected, that doesn't make it acceptable.

3D GTA games

*Your racing missions are shitty.
*Seriously, you have shitty race missions and making them mandatory is a dick move
*Not sure if my copy is glitched out but, Follow the Train in San Andreas
*San Andreas in general...it's not bad. In fact, it's superior to IV and V in a few ways. It's just glitchy and massive

Every JRPG except Final Fantasy VIII, and Bravely Default

*Why can't I get an item or ability that lets me wander around maps without getting into random encounters?

JRPGs that aren't Earthbound

*If you have to have random encounters, why not just let me insta-win the ones that I would have beaten anyway?

 

[TheArcaneThinker]

Rome total war
Its epic , atmospheric , addictive and a masterpiece .
It has very few flaws

-AI cannot pass through the gates properly.
-Siege equipment does not function properly.
-Archers are useless unless against a large force or units with low armor

That quite sums it up.

 

[Loonyyy]

Call of Duty 4: Why do the enemies keep respawning in the exact same place? Is this just a duck-shooting gallery?

PAYDAY 2: Oh, so now that I've been playing for 120 hours do I finally get the ability to have 1 silenced shotgun. Also, the DLC. And the fact that you can put level limits on the game, but that'll also exlude prestiged players, who you may not mind if you're just trying to avoid the (Oh so many) incompetent noobs(Who I don't mind nursing through a job. But when they join a hardest difficulty match, that'll take an hour to run, that they don't have the skills for [Skill tree skills], and proceed to break stealth, get downed, kill my hostages, set off alarms, I wish there was some way to put a black mark on them so I never see them again).

Fallout New Vegas: The bugs. Oh the bugs. It's a 50/50 when I launch it that it'll successfully load a save, or progress to a loading screen of death for all time.

Metro Last Light: Why did you have to be so short? Also, there's one outdoor environment with a Demon that takes forever, and is really annoying if you want to scavenge with doubling back.

Middle Earth: Shadows of Mordor. That story. That "Humor". The enemies who are invulnerable to pretty much anything, that either become combat finisher slogs, or worse, can't be damaged by those, and you have to scare them into fleeing, and then abuse stealth attacks on, because I've only ever encountered 2 or 3 high level enemies who are vulnerable to arrows still. The power struggles that are absolutely bullshit for beating without an orc winning (Duels and Beast hunts can blow me).

Anything Tripwire made (Killing Floor and Red Orchestra 2 specifically): THE GRIND.

Alpha Protocol: So buggy, so unpolished, yet so near to my heart.

F.E.A.R: Everything from Project Origin onwards.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R: No sequel to Call of Pripyat.