to those women out there

pablogonzalez

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Mar 18, 2011
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To those women out there...
why do you usually like the more confident guys?
or the reckless ones who talk out of place thinking there cool?...
or the athletic guys?...
I know it's not like this for all girls but why is it for most?
so if there is any women on the escapist ..Why?
 

RedEyesBlackGamer

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Jan 23, 2011
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I thought it would be pretty self exclamatory about why girls like strong, confident men. Confidence especially.
 

BGH122

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Jun 11, 2008
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To those guys out there...
why do you usually like the prettier girls?
or the ones who are more willing to come up and chat to you?...
or the pleasant girls?...
I know it's not like this for all guys but why is it for most?

Seriously, men and women pick the traits of their desired sexual partners on evolutionary and societal pressures that have existed since time immemorial: healthy appearance, fecund appearance and conformity to cultural norms. Some things are also plainly about practicality, as with confidence; a guy who's willing to go up to girls and ask them out is obviously going to have greater success with girls than a guy who sits at the back of the room starting enviously at him. No-one likes the fear of rejection and thus those who ask are likelier to get simply because of the lack of competition.
 

Hagi

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Apr 10, 2011
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*Insert misogynistic explanation involving insecure and immature spoiled females here*

*Insert evolutionary babble involving strong offspring and good genes here*

*Insert pop-psychology talk involving the 'female brain' here*

That should about cover 95% of the replies coming after this. You can now safely skip this thread. And no, no thanks is required for all the time I just saved you.
 

hazabaza1

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Nov 26, 2008
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So basically, you can't get a girlfriend because you don't feel you're confident enough?
Not a girl, but the way I see it, confidence shows many positive aspects in a relationship, e.g. standing up for yourself/partner in situations.
As for the athletic one, human minds naturally tend to seek out mates based on appearance and athletic guys seem like they'd make good babies, I guess.
And for the reckless ones... I dunno. Bitches be crazy?
 

Gigano

Whose Eyes Are Those Eyes?
Oct 15, 2009
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...because insecure scrawny guys playing it safe aren't everyone's cup of tea?

Really, two of the qualities you list are pretty much universally considered good and desirable in either gender, and the last (recklessness and to some degree an assertive disregard for certain traditional social norms) is traditionally associated with masculinity and Alpha male behaviour, and hence undoubtedly popular with a fair few women as well.
 

BGH122

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Hagi said:
*Insert misogynistic explanation involving insecure and immature spoiled females here*

*Insert evolutionary babble involving strong offspring and good genes here*

*Insert pop-psychology talk involving the 'female brain' here*

That should about cover 95% of the replies coming after this. You can now safely skip this thread. And no, no thanks is required for all the time I just saved you.
Evolutionary 'babble' is perfectly valid. Evolution drives all organisms without exception. I've never heard a 'female brain' comment though, those sound pretty hilarious.
 

Dags90

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Oct 27, 2009
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BGH122 said:
Evolutionary 'babble' is perfectly valid. Evolution drives all organisms without exception. I've never heard a 'female brain' comment though, those sound pretty hilarious.
Evolutionary psychology is a fledgling field lacking enough strong data from which reasonable conclusions can be determined. Most of what people write as "evolutionary babble" is conjecture with no actual scientific backing. Many of the evolutionary psychology stuff that makes it to media use samples which are too small and culturally homogeneous.
 

Hagi

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BGH122 said:
Evolutionary 'babble' is perfectly valid. Evolution drives all organisms without exception. I've never heard a 'female brain' comment though, those sound pretty hilarious.
The evolutionary babble is exactly that, babble.

Read up on epigenetics and learn that we're not nearly as static as we sometimes believe we are.
Read up on human history and learn that what's considered attractive has greatly varied and changed in the course of history.

Evolution isn't nearly so simple as to be able to be explained in a single forum post. It's not a finished theory. We're still learning new things every day about how exactly it works and what the subtleties are.

The evolutionary theory you hear in popular media is several years outdated and highly misinterpreted and because of that it's babble.
 

Vivace-Vivian

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Apr 6, 2010
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Personally I don't really look for any of those traits. But most of the good point shave already been said. Why look for confidence? Why look for physical strength? I don?t know, because they can be very attractive? Maybe you?re just looking at the wrong girls
 

EeveeElectro

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Aug 3, 2008
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This looks like a thinly veiled 'loads of gurlz go 4 jerkz!!11!' thread, which are stupid.

What's so sexy about a guy with no confidence or backbone? My ex was a spineless twat and just did whatever his mummy told him, even if it put a strain on our relationship. If we had made plans, he'd do whatever his mummy told him to do instead and happily handed over my number so she could ring me and scream down the phone to me. We don't want someone as pathetic as that as a boyfriend, being miserable and depressing is so un-sexy.

I'm not saying you have to be a massive prick to score a girl, but a bit of confidence goes a long way. Of course we're more inclined to go for the guy who's having a nice chat with us and making us laugh with his jokes, than the lad who's sat in the corner quietly nursing a pint.
Some girls might go for that sort of prick that dances around on tables and want all the attention, but they're as stupid as each other ;_; Just talk to us, that's all we want!
 

Kopikatsu

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EeveeElectro said:
This looks like a thinly veiled 'loads of gurlz go 4 jerkz!!11!' thread, which are stupid.

What's so sexy about a guy with no confidence or backbone? My ex was a spineless twat and just did whatever his mummy told him, even if it put a strain on our relationship. If we had made plans, he'd do whatever his mummy told him to do instead and happily handed over my number so she could ring me and scream down the phone to me. We don't want someone as pathetic as that as a boyfriend, being miserable and depressing is so un-sexy.
Uh...then why did you date him in the first place?

It's like the woman I know who dated a guy and then when they broke up, she only had horrible things to say about him. I asked her why she dated him in the first place, and she said 'Well, I hated him so much that he was always on my mind. So I asked him out.'

Answer to this thread: Bitches be crazy. Go gay today!
 

Dags90

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Oct 27, 2009
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Kopikatsu said:
I asked her why she dated him in the first place, and she said 'Well, I hated him so much that he was always on my mind. So I asked him out.'

Answer to this thread: Bitches be crazy. Go gay today!
What's crazy about hate sex? Consensual hate sex is a good way to vent one's frustrations. That's not something gay men can't fall into either, trust me on that.
 

zehydra

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Oct 25, 2009
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Because that's what they're "programmed" to desire, so to speak. Of course that doesn't speak for all girls, but for a large portion.

I always found it odd myself, that women or anyone could find non-sexual behaviors sexually attractive, but that's just the way it works. It's like asking a person, "Why are you straight".
 

EeveeElectro

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Aug 3, 2008
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Kopikatsu said:
Uh...then why did you date him in the first place?

It's like the woman I know who dated a guy and then when they broke up, she only had horrible things to say about him. I asked her why she dated him in the first place, and she said 'Well, I hated him so much that he was always on my mind. So I asked him out.'

Answer to this thread: Bitches be crazy. Go gay today!
Honestly, I don't know. I wish I could go back and make sure I never met him and just waited a bit longer for my current boyfriend. Probably just the whole I don't like being alone and not being in a relationship, even if the person I'm with is bad for me. Plus he kept threatening suicide when I tried breaking up and I stupidly believed him. I can't explain it for other women but when we break up with men, if it was a nasty break up we always tend to forget about the good times we had which probably explains your friends reaction D;
 

Crystalite

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Apr 2, 2010
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Uhm, you are asking why girls like attractive boys.
They like them because they are attractive, that is the meaning of the word...

I don´t see any other answer to this, it is just questioning something self-evident.

But if it comforts you, a girl that does not adhere to the general rules of attractiveness will be alone as well, and often be ridiculed for the fact. And any girl not looking like Natalie Portmann is considered ugly these days, whereas for men, the appearance range is much wider.

Ah, well, the crux:
Get out of self-pity and act more confidently.
Maybe work out now and again.
 

BGH122

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Dags90 said:
BGH122 said:
Evolutionary 'babble' is perfectly valid. Evolution drives all organisms without exception. I've never heard a 'female brain' comment though, those sound pretty hilarious.
Evolutionary psychology is a fledgling field lacking enough strong data from which reasonable conclusions can be determined. Most of what people write as "evolutionary babble" is conjecture with no actual scientific backing. Many of the evolutionary psychology stuff that makes it to media use samples which are too small and culturally homogeneous.
Except I'm not defending evolutionary psychology. I'm saying that organisms select mates upon set characteristics that often present handicaps to the individual, but a selective mating advantage (Zahavi et al (1975) Kirkpatrick (1982) Iwasa (1991)... I could go on, the handicap principle is pretty well proved). There is strong evolutionary evidence that mate selection can increase allele frequency of selected traits and lead to lower allele diversity in the selected groups. This isn't pseudoscientific evolutionary psychology.

Hagi said:
BGH122 said:
Evolutionary 'babble' is perfectly valid. Evolution drives all organisms without exception. I've never heard a 'female brain' comment though, those sound pretty hilarious.
The evolutionary babble is exactly that, babble.

Read up on epigenetics and learn that we're not nearly as static as we sometimes believe we are.
Read up on human history and learn that what's considered attractive has greatly varied and changed in the course of history.

Evolution isn't nearly so simple as to be able to be explained in a single forum post. It's not a finished theory. We're still learning new things every day about how exactly it works and what the subtleties are.

The evolutionary theory you hear in popular media is several years outdated and highly misinterpreted and because of that it's babble.
Yeah, I guess my pre-med course should really have stopped teaching gossip and should have taught biochem instead. OH WAIT.

Epigenetics does work to make genes a non-static conferrer of characteristics, but it does so through expression of specific genes to interact with the expression of other genes. As with all genetics, those genes exist because of a survival advantage. The argument that epigenetics obviates arguments in favour of selective advantages as the cause of genetics is simply false; those interacting genes exist precisely because of, and are governed by, typical evolutionary survival and reproductive advantages (ignoring genetic drift or linking here).

Furthermore, I didn't argue that genetics explains the entirety of human mate choice. I didn't argue that genes were static in their expression. I argued that evolutionary arguments for mate choices aren't just babble, which they aren't. There's a massive gap between "This theory doesn't explain everything" and "This theory is babble". What's that Hawking? Your theory of black hole radiation doesn't explain gravity? Your theory is babble!

See what I'm getting at here? Of course people can deliberately (or otherwise) misrepresent genetics and evolution so that it becomes painfully reductionist babble and fails to explain psychosocial trends, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily babble.

EDIT: That came off rather more defensively than I intended. No offence was intended.
 

SonOfVoorhees

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Aug 3, 2011
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pablogonzalez said:
To those women out there...
why do you usually like the more confident guys?
or the reckless ones who talk out of place thinking there cool?...
or the athletic guys?...
I know it's not like this for all girls but why is it for most?
Women love confidence. I prefer a confident woman than a pathetic needy retard. Confident is to be proud with who you are. Its why arseholes get gets, cos they are confident with being an arsehole. Woman like you to be the man.....doesnt matter what you like. Granted a girl wont like if you are confident about your love for sci fi, but thats because she doesnt like sci fi.

Confidence is a state of mind. They just dont want men that are meek or insecure. Thats all. Be proud for who you are, with what you like. An you will be fine.

Girls dont like arseholes......its just that they are not afraid to be the ones with the confidence to ask them out.
 

rokkolpo

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Aug 29, 2009
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Confidence, dangerous, strong.

Three attributes that call for attention and attention is ALL you need to get a girl.
Seriously, just get yourself out there.