to those women out there

[ZeroChan]

We like more confident guys because you need to believe you're worth our time if you want us to think so.

If a guy comes up to me acting like he's worried I'll think he's a total weirdo, I usually think that he must have good reasons for being concerned I'll think that way... That being said, if some douche bag comes up to me and acts like he thinks he's God's gift to women, I'll assume he's full of himself and blow him off just as quickly.

The golden middle ground is when someone approaches me with an attitude that conveys that they're totally comfortable with themselves.
A sort of, "This is who I am, and I think it's pretty neat, but you take it or leave it."

 

[Circleseer]

First off, I'm a guy. However, the answers to your questions seem simple enough.



Think about what you're asking. You don't have to be athletic - but it looks good. Of course looks matter, to some degree at least. And more for some people than for others. Some girls like smart guys. You're best off being both in good shape ánd smart.

The self-confindence thing is obvious; it shows capability - being able to deal with the world, and others, and yourself. It looks confident and stable - things that are attractive, regardless of sex. People want someone who can protect and help them, not someone who needs helping.

As for others being rude, that's just uncivil behavior. Comment on it, don't be a pushover. Tell them to let you finish.

The list goes on like that: Girls don't like rich guys per se; but being able to take her out and being able to pay for your own stuff is a lot cooler than being broke all the time - or worse, having to leech of her.

---
All of it is in your hands. Start working out - you don't even need equipment to start with. Just time and discipline. Google some exercises. Get a job. Do well in school, and generally just be a nice guy.

Good luck mate.

 

[Doclector]

Because they are human. Normal humans. Don't pretend most men aren't just as shallow. It is a part of human nature. Why? Don't know. All people who don't fit those criteria can do is work to fulfil those criteria if they can. If they can't, they have to get used to it. There are people who don't ask for that specific ideal, but they are hopelessly rare.

 

[Sable Gear]

To those women out there...
why do you usually like the more confident guys?
or the reckless ones who talk out of place thinking there cool?...
or the athletic guys?...
I know it's not like this for all girls but why is it for most?
so if there is any women on the escapist ..Why?

Be careful with you use of the word "most", my man. It's a dangerous qualifier.

Well many people said it before me; a little confidence goes a long way/ stop wallowing in self-pity. Not to be mean but seriously, dude, you can't win over EVERY lady. At the risk of seeming stalkerly, I ask out of curiosity, how old are you?

As for the "reckless" guys, it's amatter of personal taste, and the kind of person you seem to cite to me appears to be totally socially unaware, ergo: not attractive to ME personally. Attraction is all a matter of personal taste.

Here's a suggestion or two: I'm going to guess you're the quiet type, yes? Try to find a girl who's quiet like you. Failing that, someone who's the complete opposite of your personality. I have a friend who's really quiet and placid (quintessential nerd type) and his wife is an outgoing and very social woman and they get along fine. Sometimes opposites can attract.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

Because that's what they're "programmed" to desire

Exactly. Be confident and upfront.....even if you are pretending to. They like that. If you gonna act all meek and pathetic....what girl wants that? Its like the old days....strongest warrior wins the girl. Now days its the confident one. If you get a "No" dont worry. More girls out their. She may not want you, thats fine, see that as finding out in advance. Just means she was honest and the perfect woman for you is still to be found. Just gotta see it like looking for a movie in blockbuster....some movies you look at you think "No" others take your interest. You just gotta move on.

It took me a long to realise this. Seriously. Negatives used to upset me, but now i see that they dont care. Live your life and have fun. If a girl comes along then great and ask her out. Youu need to know that you dont need a woman, be happy with who you are and then look for woman. Then you wont seem needy. Woman can make life better, but they are not the key to a good life.

 

[Dags90]

Except I'm not defending evolutionary psychology. I'm saying that organisms select mates upon set characteristics that often present handicaps to the individual, but a selective mating advantage (Zahavi et al (1975) Kirkpatrick (1982) Iwasa (1991)... I could go on, the handicap principle is pretty well proved). There is strong evolutionary evidence that mate selection can increase allele frequency of selected traits and lead to lower allele diversity in the selected groups. This isn't pseudoscientific evolutionary psychology.

But there is little (or zero) evidence that those principles apply to this case. Sexual selection is much more than the handicap principle. Biology is littered oddities and exceptions. Assuming it applies is massively presumptuous.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

Confidence, dangerous, strong.

Three attributes that call for attention and attention is ALL you need to get a girl.
Seriously, just get yourself out there.

This. Thing is arsehole, dousebags are confident because they are shallow and they think they are goods gift to women. Thats why they do well. Like that film or music star....they believe their is no fear that they will be turned down. If you are confident in yourself then you will be fine. A no is no big deal. You should never care about that ever. If you are looking for work and you get a "no" email do you stop looking for work? You dont. It is the same thing.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

The golden middle ground is when someone approaches me with an attitude that conveys that they're totally comfortable with themselves.
A sort of, "This is who I am, and I think it's pretty neat, but you take it or leave it."

This is the win. Your comment boils it down to the important parts. Just be realistic. I hate sports so would never look for a sport freak woman. If you like WOW or history, then go to them places that will attract those woman with the interests you love. You will be fine.

 

[Asti]

Confidence has nothing to do with being a prick.
My boyfriend is the most caring person in the world and doesn't exactly comply to "manly" stereotypes in both behaviour and ideals of male beauty (in the sense of being muscular and tall and eating a lot of meat while grunting and conversing about sports) and yet he's completely comfortable with himself. Now that's confidence.

Sadly, however, confidence isn't a trait looked for in women.
That's why most guys like girls who wear make up and comply with all kinds of social standards, especially in the looks department.

Now think about that for a second.


And hell, I wouldn't want a reckless guy. I despise reckless behaviour and everyone who tries to depict an "alpha male" (we're not wolves, for God's sake!!!) is, in my eyes, just whoring for attention and actually a pretty spineless idiot without much of a personality.

Get your stereotypes sorted out, jeez!

 

[Lullabye]

To those women out there...
why do you usually like the more confident guys?
or the reckless ones who talk out of place thinking there cool?...
or the athletic guys?...
I know it's not like this for all girls but why is it for most?
so if there is any women on the escapist ..Why?

I like how you answered your own question.
Maybe it's because they're more confident, reckless and cool.
Now quit feeling insecure and go take a martial arts class.

 

[Princess Rose]

To those women out there...
why do you usually like the more confident guys?
or the athletic guys?...
so if there is any women on the escapist ..Why?

"if" there are any women? **sigh**

In any case, it's already been said, but I'll say it again.

Because they're SEXY.

Were you expecting a different answer? Really?

 

[pablogonzalez]

Because I can do clever, pretty, sensitive and subtle all by myself. I only need a man for manual labor and sexytimes, and brutes are best for that.

 

[zehydra]

Because that's what they're "programmed" to desire

Exactly. Be confident and upfront.....even if you are pretending to. They like that. If you gonna act all meek and pathetic....what girl wants that? Its like the old days....strongest warrior wins the girl. Now days its the confident one. If you get a "No" dont worry. More girls out their. She may not want you, thats fine, see that as finding out in advance. Just means she was honest and the perfect woman for you is still to be found. Just gotta see it like looking for a movie in blockbuster....some movies you look at you think "No" others take your interest. You just gotta move on.

It took me a long to realise this. Seriously. Negatives used to upset me, but now i see that they dont care. Live your life and have fun. If a girl comes along then great and ask her out. Youu need to know that you dont need a woman, be happy with who you are and then look for woman. Then you wont seem needy. Woman can make life better, but they are not the key to a good life.

damn right.

Now if I could only switch off that part of me in my head that very strongly desires a mate more than anything.

 

[Zerazar]

Wow this thread is depressing.

*Insert misogynistic explanation involving insecure and immature spoiled females here*

*Insert evolutionary babble involving strong offspring and good genes here*

*Insert pop-psychology talk involving the 'female brain' here*

That should about cover 95% of the replies coming after this. You can now safely skip this thread. And no, no thanks is required for all the time I just saved you.

I do like this guy though.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

Its not so much "lack of confidence" as the "fear of getting a no" thats the problem. Its nerves. Need to be positive, if you get a no, fine. Thats cos they dont want you....deserve you, there are plenty of woman that do deserve you. And you have to find them because they wont find you. Well, they wont if you are stuck at home. A no means they dont want you.....do you want to be with a woman that doesnt want you? You dont. So look at it that way. Those arseholes think every woman would be lucky to be with them....thats what you are fighting against. Hate those guys.

 

[zehydra]

To those women out there...
why do you usually like the more confident guys?
or the athletic guys?...
so if there is any women on the escapist ..Why?

"if" there are any women? **sigh**

In any case, it's already been said, but I'll say it again.

Because they're SEXY.

Were you expecting a different answer? Really?

exactly. The reason us guys have a hard time with this concept, is because Guys have no real equivalent, that is, we don't find any non-sexual behaviors sexy.

Ah, but that's the way things are.

 

[Erana]

Confidence, dangerous, strong.

Three attributes that call for attention and attention is ALL you need to get a girl.
Seriously, just get yourself out there.

Oh, really? I never got the memo. I'll remember to spread my legs the next time a big, strong asshole walks up and demands to fuck me.
Though I suppose this is just, "to get a girl."
But that just exudes the making of a shallow relationship, if not just a one-night stand. And I really hate it when a guy has obviously lowered their standards to get anyone to be their girlfriend, has a terrible experience, then comes on the Escapist and complains about how all women are complete bitches. If you go for a method this shallow, you have to be prepare to accept the consequences and blame only yourself, instead of the entirety of the opposite sex.

Confidence is just an aspect that makes people like someone, period. Being reckless and dangerous can offer a bit of excitement to the bored woman, but Lord knows I'd never go with the guy who does stupid things for attention all the time.
For some reason, the confident, well-traveled guy who would sweep you off your feet and take you to see and experience things you'd never see before gets filed under the same category as "reckless and dangerous."
And the reason any of this has appeal is because its new and exciting. You find someone who expands your world and makes it alright for you to deviate from your lifelong responsibilities for a bit.
Its flashy and exciting, yes, but what they do in this phase bears no relationship to who they are as potential partners or fathers. They may get a lay out of some women, but if they don't shape up in other aspects, they're going to have a terrible long-term relationship. And a lot of smart women are very aware of this.

And strong? That's incredibly vague. Being visually pleasing would be a definite plus, yes, but being emotionally strong enough would be a necessity for me. I'd want someone to be able to pick up the slack when I'm at the end of my rope.

Still, you're also forgot to factor in peoples' personal tastes- I don't think I could ever be with someone who didn't have/was getting an education, and didn't highly value it.

I know someone who could never tolerate a partner who wouldn't participate in her extravagant tail-gating parties, and a man who wouldn't have sex out of wedlock.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

To those women out there...
why do you usually like the more confident guys?
or the athletic guys?...
so if there is any women on the escapist ..Why?

"if" there are any women? **sigh**

In any case, it's already been said, but I'll say it again.

Because they're SEXY.

Were you expecting a different answer? Really?

exactly. The reason us guys have a hard time with this concept, is because Guys have no real equivalent, that is, we don't find any non-sexual behaviors sexy.

Ah, but that's the way things are.

Look at a man dance and a woman dance. Men suck. Woman ooze sex appeal - they have the legs and the breasts and the face to look at. Men have nothing. Do woman find men dancing sexy? I do wonder. lol

 

[SckizoBoy]

Just wondering OP... you have a girlfriend, don't you? Granted last you mentioned it was long distance, but still... why do you feel the need to ask these questions when you probably already know the answers...