Top Ten Sex Tips

[Thaluikhain]

Dress up as something tiresomely predictable (French Maid, Nun, Tellytubby, etc.)

I like the idea of both people dressing up.

I mean, Teletubbies have maids clean their houses, right?

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

Er get some vibrators already.

 

[Keepeas]

I wonder when one of those magazines will just try screwing with us and write down, "Google Rule 34 without Safesearch; do act performed in first picture seen."

Spoiler: Safe Pic

...that's what I got...it could be worse...
...much worse...

 

[Guffe]

auauauauauauaauauauaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That shit would sting like really bad!!!

 

[nolongerhere]

I saw one that suggested pulling sharply on your partners pubic hair right when they're about to finish. It's like they didn't even realize that the term "Got you by the short and curlies" is not indicative of a pleasurable situation.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

I often read the Daily Mail, especially the website. Not because I agree with it mind you, god no, but because I find it hilarious that there can be so much rage and hate in print xD.
Oh and the comments on the website article make me feel better about myself - they make me feel 'Hey at least I'm not a genuine Daily Mail reader'

Thank god... I am not the only one! Also... I like all the distracting pics on the right hand side...!

 

[WaysideMaze]

[li]Insert an entire ham into his rectum.[/li]

Be sure to marinade it first.

I prefer it dry

 

[Kargathia]

I saw one that suggested pulling sharply on your partners pubic hair right when they're about to finish. It's like they didn't even realize that the term "Got you by the short and curlies" is not indicative of a pleasurable situation.

This might just be the most compelling argument for thoroughly shaving your nether parts I have ever read.

 

[Fappy]

Why would you want to ruin a perfectly good ham!? D:

 

[Innegativeion]

We need to go deeper...

That's number 7 on the list.

Well-played, sir.

You've earned this.

And here I thought cramming dinner entrees up your anus was only applicable if you were planning on shitting out your mouth.

 

[hentropy]

It's not so bad, you just have to make sure to use lots of... honey.

 

[Fappy]

Why would you want to ruin a perfectly good ham!? D:

Who said anything about ruin?

It improves the flavor!

Remind me never to eat anything you give me.

 

[bliebblob]

I'll just leave this here... (works best with eyes closed)

They're getting sorta warm with the ham though except it goes in the other end.

 

[flaviok79]

I never laughed so hard here in the Escapist(well, except wen watching some Loading Ready Run episodes). This one was amazing!

 

[WanderingFool]

Rectum? DAMN NEAR KILLED EM!

Thank you good sir, thank you...

 

[Canadamus Prime]

0_o I don't know about anyone else, but I don't anything going in my rectum. That's an output not an input.

 

[Vie]

"ASSUMING CONTROL"

Was what came to mind when I saw the final picture.

 

[loa]

Wait a second, dressing up like a teletubbie is not just a thing but "tiresomely predictable"?
Say what?

 

[Zombie_Fish]

NOT THE BE-

I'll just leave this here... (works best with eyes closed)

God damnit, ninja'd again!

Personally, I think I can speak on behalf of men in general when I recommend just going through these tips [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTQnUTgLssI] (safe for work).