Unbelievable jealous rage - is it wrong?
- Thread starter ZombieGenesis
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I'd chill and keep it in perspective though there is a lack of info when he expressed an intrest how was his tone? Was he joking? Did he know you were in a relationship, was he deadpan or acting like a tit. and have you talked to him nevermind her? If hes really that much of a bastard maybe remind him you have some info on him of a dubious nature hold his balls to the fire sort of.
Well first of all: Why does it all of a sudden take two people to babysit just one new niece? It's not like she needs the help. Hell: I'm a 25 year old soldier, what the hell do I know about taking care of kids? And yet I was still able to keep my own infant niece clean, happy, and giggling. So why is he along in the first place?
If your concerns (and they are valid concerns: scum is as scum does) aren't taken into account you have a big problem. Make sure you communicate with your Girlfriend how this makes you uncomfortable. And by all means don't spare any detail. He's a womanizer? By all means tell her. The Illegal stuff? Definitely tell her! (And the police, if what he did is pretty bad and you can prove it.)
As for the sub threads:
Fighting: We've been programmed now to believe that we need to avoid a physical fight at all costs. This is BS on a few levels. For one thing, as an army leader I've had to physically discipline soldiers more than a few times. A lot of people will be offended by that since the newer softer army isn't supposed to do that. But if they have a better way of stopping a trained soldier who's going ballistic (or doing something they shouldn't to a female) I'd like to hear it. Other than that, I've had little 'skirmishes' with civilians off duty. Just make sure you're in the right, then head to the police department and fill out a fray report. The majority of the time, so long as you don't go around sucker punching people and only do it when someone really does need to get squashed, the cops have your back.
Just make sure it's the right thing to do.
As far as Mr. Logic: You really are dead inside. And factually you're also wrong. You can't control what a person is or does, no. But you can influence them. That's something I learned about leadership in the army, where as a low level leader I couldn't actually order someone and make it stick. (damn new army) What I could do was influence them by either inspiring them with my example, providing consequences to their actions, or explaining exactly why what I wanted them to do was necessary/positive.
In the context of this thread, the guy could offer to take the scumbags place in helping her babysit, he could let her know in no uncertain terms that he's not comfortable and that associating with this creep will hurt their relationship (perhaps fatally), and then explain that it's this guy that's the problem, and not her.
And you're idea that the worst case is she cheats is so sad I can't even comment.
I've also used the phrases "Nothing worth doing in life is ever easy" And "If you're not willing to 'fight' for something you don't deserve it" so there's that.
And I'm stepping off my soapbox... now.
If your concerns (and they are valid concerns: scum is as scum does) aren't taken into account you have a big problem. Make sure you communicate with your Girlfriend how this makes you uncomfortable. And by all means don't spare any detail. He's a womanizer? By all means tell her. The Illegal stuff? Definitely tell her! (And the police, if what he did is pretty bad and you can prove it.)
As for the sub threads:
Fighting: We've been programmed now to believe that we need to avoid a physical fight at all costs. This is BS on a few levels. For one thing, as an army leader I've had to physically discipline soldiers more than a few times. A lot of people will be offended by that since the newer softer army isn't supposed to do that. But if they have a better way of stopping a trained soldier who's going ballistic (or doing something they shouldn't to a female) I'd like to hear it. Other than that, I've had little 'skirmishes' with civilians off duty. Just make sure you're in the right, then head to the police department and fill out a fray report. The majority of the time, so long as you don't go around sucker punching people and only do it when someone really does need to get squashed, the cops have your back.
Just make sure it's the right thing to do.
As far as Mr. Logic: You really are dead inside. And factually you're also wrong. You can't control what a person is or does, no. But you can influence them. That's something I learned about leadership in the army, where as a low level leader I couldn't actually order someone and make it stick. (damn new army) What I could do was influence them by either inspiring them with my example, providing consequences to their actions, or explaining exactly why what I wanted them to do was necessary/positive.
In the context of this thread, the guy could offer to take the scumbags place in helping her babysit, he could let her know in no uncertain terms that he's not comfortable and that associating with this creep will hurt their relationship (perhaps fatally), and then explain that it's this guy that's the problem, and not her.
And you're idea that the worst case is she cheats is so sad I can't even comment.
I've also used the phrases "Nothing worth doing in life is ever easy" And "If you're not willing to 'fight' for something you don't deserve it" so there's that.
And I'm stepping off my soapbox... now.
