Uncharted: Drake's (mis)Fortune

[Cid Silverwing]

Uncharted: Drake?s (mis)Fortune
PS3 review by Cid SilverWing

The entire game in 4 words: Random, racist, stupid, and hateful.

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune on the PS3 is a third-person shooter platformer hybrid that is unforgiving to everyone in every way. Primarily because the graphics are just an absent-minded distraction that doesn?t counteract the repeated fact that this game has design faults stuffed up the ass.

First of all, the platforming sequences are seriously broken, requiring countless rehearsals before you get through them, frequently having a deathfest anywhere the game refuses to give you obvious hints at where to escape from an otherwise inescapable spot. This is worsened even further by the fact that the camera insists on sitting in fixed positions while you jump around and miss constantly and having to start all over. You also get involved in gunfights against enemies that are stupidly overpowered (all somehow into the popular trend of possessing the capability of aiming perfectly at 10 meters and farther away), and then we have the other popular trend of dismissing the health meter in favor for the INTOLERABLY RETARDED screen-indicates-your-health setup and giving you regenerative powers like you?re a troll in human disguise. The latter has been repeated in Call of Duty 4 and The Darkness, and I?m sure other modern FPS games use this. This time I came up with an excuse to myself that Nathan Drake, the protagonist, was wearing some sort of magical trinket (since you run around and find treasures now and then, earning PS3 trophies after a set number of treasures found) that gave him said regenerative powers. This was a horrible idea the first time around and repetition has not sweetened it whatsoever.

Every step game developers take towards realism, they keep jumping backwards. The graphics keep on improving regarding character models and environments, yet everything that?s called grass, leaves and trees still look like cardboard cutouts from the PS1 era.

And let?s not forget this game?s biggest issue. You fight enemies that consist entirely of non-Caucasian foreign-speaking terrorist-y thugs whose language is not translated in the subtitles (even though Nathan appeared to speak it to a degree). This is Resident Evil 4 all over again! The latter game was also unacceptably racist just as the Resident Evil 5 trailer is. What the fuck were the developers THINKING when they came up with this?! And by the way, what?s with their fascination of crates? I kept finding stacks of them in places they shouldn?t even be, whether indoors or outdoors. I kept thinking ?Am I playing ?Uncharted: Drake?s Fortune? or ?Crash Bandicoot Y2K7: Human Racist Gunplay???

My forbearance wore out very quickly and I refused to play beyond the ?-----5-----? part in the game because I was fed up with the randomness, enemies spawning in huge clusters, platforming sequences being severely broken, racism, and the camera not being a team player. I must also mention that the actual gameplay controls are seriously sluggish and can at any time lead you into sudden death pitfalls or otherwise because apparently it?s considered a humorous trend to hear players whine about it on Internet forums (kinda like how I?m doing right now and I don?t care about it since no one will probably sympathize and I will very possibly get flamed to the 13 Hells for this review instead).

I?m glad I borrowed this game from my brother instead of buying it, so I don?t have to feel guilty for supporting the ever-growing racist trend in video games. Oh yeah, one final thing: You can?t delete the trophies you?ve achieved? That was the final straw for me?

 

[CrazyBerk]

More of a MASSIVE ass rant on the games an awful lot of nit picking but i've never played the game so i don't know how incredibly bad it is so i'll just take your word for it.
But BY JINGLE i like the title.

 

[windfish]

Having enemies not speak your language isn't racist. Portraying them in a ridiculously stereotypcial manner is.

Now, to be fair, I haven't played the game. Do these enemy NPC's do anything that's really stereotypical and pigeonholing of an entire race, or are you complaining because none of them are English-speaking Caucasians? There's probably no equal-opportunity clause in Ruthless Gang of Gunman recruitment - they're probably too busy trying to kill you to stop and think about whether the racial make-up of their group is politically correct.

Be sure to strike a difference between "racist" and "insensitive" in your sweeping accusations. The developers probably don't hate all Arabs and Asians and whoever else you fight. They probably just didn't think hard enough to imagine that some gamers might be offended at not having white people shooting at them.

It's not unreasonable to have people shooting accurately at 10 meters, especially if they are professional gunmen-for hire. Did you mean 100 meters?

Again, though, I've not played the game, so I'll believe you that it may be too hard, and badly designed. About the Graphics, though -

In a recent interview, Naughty Dog (the developers) said that they were barely using a fraction of the PS3's power, which is reasonable, because it was a very, very early third-party game. Expect the sequel to up the ante.

 

[DrHobo]

Terrible review, if you can even call it that.

I fail to see how having bad guys who are not white is racist.

Drake himself has a mediterrainian look about him in my book, and even though I havent played this game in a while, I'm pretty sure the head bad guy is whitey

Moving on, yes the combat is hard. So. This is not a game where you constantly run around with 400 surplus bullets and 15 different automatic rifles. Many times you are down to your last six rounds. Thats part of the thrill of it for me. Darting out from pillar to pillar, squeezing off rounds before they flank you, I personally enjoy the action sequences in this game.

As for the platforming. All it requires is quick thinking. Yes you will die. You also die in Mario platformers, does that make it a bad game? Every scripted collapse etc gives you enough time to make the next jump. If you choose poorly, thats your own problem.

Graphically its a bit dated, but then it was one of the first games out on ps3. And graphics do not the game make my friend

This is by no means a 9/10 game, maybe a 7/10, but the way you carry on is unjustified.

 

[milskidasith]

I stopped reading after you said that Resident Evil 4 was racist, and I doubt the ranting got much more intelligent after that.

 

[Castrate the Heathen]

INTOLERABLY RETARDED

I feel that you have summarized your own review.

 

[Aries_Split]

Terrible review, if you can even call it that.

I fail to see how having bad guys who are not white is racist.

Drake himself has a mediterrainian look about him in my book, and even though I havent played this game in a while, I'm pretty sure the head bad guy is whitey

Moving on, yes the combat is hard. So. This is not a game where you constantly run around with 400 surplus bullets and 15 different automatic rifles. Many times you are down to your last six rounds. Thats part of the thrill of it for me. Darting out from pillar to pillar, squeezing off rounds before they flank you, I personally enjoy the action sequences in this game.

As for the platforming. All it requires is quick thinking. Yes you will die. You also die in Mario platformers, does that make it a bad game? Every scripted collapse etc gives you enough time to make the next jump. If you choose poorly, thats your own problem.

Graphically its a bit dated, but then it was one of the first games out on ps3. And graphics do not the game make my friend

This is by no means a 9/10 game, maybe a 7/10, but the way you carry on is unjustified.

I'd give it an 8. Also, OP is a dip.

 

[GloatingSwine]

First of all, the platforming sequences are seriously broken, requiring countless rehearsals before you get through them, frequently having a deathfest anywhere the game refuses to give you obvious hints at where to escape from an otherwise inescapable spot. This is worsened even further by the fact that the camera insists on sitting in fixed positions while you jump around and miss constantly and having to start all over.

This is patently incorrect. Any grippable point on the many and varied environments Drake scampers over is blindingly obvious to anyone with eyes, and the camera always swings into position to look at them. The only "problem" with the platforming is that it doesn't make up enough of the game.

You also get involved in gunfights against enemies that are stupidly overpowered (all somehow into the popular trend of possessing the capability of aiming perfectly at 10 meters and farther away)

It's been years since I've fired a gun, but I suspect I could probably hit a target at ten metres.

and then we have the other popular trend of dismissing the health meter in favor for the INTOLERABLY RETARDED screen-indicates-your-health setup and giving you regenerative powers like you're a troll in human disguise.

This is a common feature of action games, because it means that after a few short seconds of hiding you're back playing again, not either reloading because you lost one percent too much health this encounter or backtracking to the last health pack. It makes the game faster and keeps the pace of the action going.

And let's not forget this game's biggest issue. You fight enemies that consist entirely of non-Caucasian foreign-speaking terrorist-y thugs whose language is not translated in the subtitles (even though Nathan appeared to speak it to a degree).

You're fighting in the jungles of South America. Expecting anything other than local muscle to show up would be foolish.

(kinda like how I'm doing right now and I don't care about it since no one will probably sympathize and I will very possibly get flamed to the 13 Hells for this review instead).

No-one's sympathising because your primary concerns with the game appear to revolve around how shit you are at it, and you have focused on these and apparently managed to gloss over the few actual problems with the game (not enough platforming, rubbish vehicle bits, QTEs with no forewarning which are used so infrequently that there is no way to ever anticipate them).

 

[TheKbob]

Uhm, wow. Atrocious. Resident Evil 4 and 5 racist? I think you need to sort some things out before you EVER consider reviewing a game again.

And if you were expecting to get criticism, why do it?

 

[Booze Zombie]

How are Drake's Fortune or the Resident Evil games racist? Really going need to see some proof, I'm afraid.

By the way, here's a definiton of racism, because quoting Dicitonary.com makes me feel big and clever.

Racism /ˈreɪsɪzəm/ [rey-siz-uhm]
?noun
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.

 

[dukeh016]

Whoa whoa whoa, I'm all for jumping on the bandwagon but this is rediculous. The man went to some trouble to write this review and putting up infront of a vicious online community takes some guts. I'm not saying anyone has to like the review, but calling him an idiot and a dip does nothing except make him feel bad about himself, or perhaps angry. Either way, it isn't constructive and it isn't appropriate, so save the bashing for someone who actually insulted you.

To the topic at hand; I would say the general community is correct in stating this is a subpar review. The reason, interestingly enough, isn't because you missed out on any major reviewing point. You broke down the gameplay, highlighted the issues you had with it, and summed up your opinion nicely. The writing was bit hectic, but I think that's natural for most people.

The problem occurs in the tone of the piece, as I believe that line between humorous and angry was crossed. People love humorous rants that poke fun at things, especially things everyone hates. People don't like things that are simply angry. I'm not saying you were angry when you wrote this review, I'm just saying that's how it was presented to the ignorant reader. Humor is certainly possible in this review, and I think you hit upon it several times.

My advice for the future: Think about your audience. This audience, for example, suffers from a heavy case of cognitive dissonance that results in video games always being politically acceptable and the cure for cancer. Choose your battles intelligently, and if you can't side with the public on an issue then just ignore the issue.

 

[Aries_Split]

Think about your audience. This audience, for example, suffers from a heavy case of cognitive dissonance that results in video games always being politically acceptable and the cure for cancer. Choose your battles intelligently, and if you can't side with the public on an issue then just ignore the issue.

You really do know us well!

 

[GloatingSwine]

To the topic at hand; I would say the general community is correct in stating this is a subpar review. The reason, interestingly enough, isn't because you missed out on any major reviewing point. You broke down the gameplay, highlighted the issues you had with it, and summed up your opinion nicely. The writing was bit hectic, but I think that's natural for most people.

However, those issues highlighted were not well supported with citations of examples from the game itself, and they do not match the experience of the majority of players of the game. If you are making a controversial point, the onus is on you to support it.

My advice for the future: Think about your audience. This audience, for example, suffers from a heavy case of cognitive dissonance that results in video games always being politically acceptable and the cure for cancer. Choose your battles intelligently, and if you can't side with the public on an issue then just ignore the issue.

My advice from the future is that when you make a criticism, or indeed any other argument, make sure you can present a rational backing for it. The contention that Uncharted is racist is not backed up with any rational argumentation that it's presentation of particular races are in any way stereotyped. (Unlike Resident Evil 5, where there is some crossover between the imagery of the game and intentionally racist imagery that has been historically used in propaganda), it seems to be based entirely on the fact that the enemies are a different colour than the protagonist. Nothing at all to do with anything about the presentation other than the simple fact of it. Does that mean that everything where the protagonist and antagonist have different skin colour or nationality is racist, even when no other racial stereotypes are present?

 

[Cid Silverwing]

I feel obligated to add a few points.

I can take a few deaths, as long as they stay under the digit of 10 during the entire course of gameplay. You can't ever expect to breeze through a game, even I know that, but when I start dying many many MANY times that ruins the experience for me completely. It's the equivalent of fighting a raid boss in WoW and having a wipefest, which sticks me with really fat repair bills.

On the accusations of mis-calling the game racist: The enemy thugs dress funny and constantly utter words I can not ever comprehend, much less because the subtitles don't translate them in cutscenes. The majority of them also carry AK-47 rifles. RE4 did the exact same thing, only difference is the enemy there were Spaniards and they didn't have AKs. But Nathan Drake, and RE4's Leon are both white. It's become a trend to have a single man of one nationality (typically American, almost exclusively if I'm not mistaken) mass-murder a ton of people of opposing race/nationality (in these cases South American/Spanish).

The platforming: The fixed camera angles cripple my odds of differentiating between decorative background texture and the next ledge I'm required to jump towards (akin to Yahtzee's complaint about it). And then there are the random QTE bits, with or without the press-a-button-quickly situations.

 

[Aries_Split]

It's become a trend to have a single man of one nationality (typically American, almost exclusively if I'm not mistaken) mass-murder a ton of people of opposing race/nationality (in these cases South American/Spanish).

See, you misuse the word murder. I'm pretty sure if there is someone shooting at me, and I have a gun in my hand, I am going to use the shit I learned in basic training and shoot them back, whether they are black, arab, or w/e the fuck it is. You people act like he creeps into south americans homes and stabs innocent people. God...

Also, have you considered your just not very good at the game? I can't EVER remembering dieing more than 3 times in one section.

Also, you fail for bringing Yahtzee into this.

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

Umm... you do fight cuacasians, remember the Commando's near the end? I'm pretty sure some of them were white.

As well, I hate to tell you this... as far as Real Life Modern Pirates go... most of them are from third world countries... most of which are not Caucasian nations, depending on where in the world you are at the moment.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

For that matter, I'm a serious noob with FPSes on consoles (they should be banned in my opinion), and I live in Norway.

Are you finished flaming me with your biased ignorance yet so I can write another review without having to survey this topic filled with trolling?

 

[The Wooster]

Are you finished flaming me with your biased ignorance yet so I can write another review without having to survey this topic filled with trolling?

Way to take criticism on board champ.

 

[Aries_Split]

Are you finished flaming me with your biased ignorance yet so I can write another review without having to survey this topic filled with trolling?

Way to take criticism on board champ.

QFT. Also, what does Uncharted have to do with FPS's?

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

Let me teach you a little something about "Pulp Adventure Fiction." Uncharted: Drakes Fortune recalls the old pulp serials and novels from the 1930?s and 40?s updated to a modern setting. This is both it?s greatest strength and one of its slightly more controversial features. For one, it is quaintly racist in the way only Pulp Adventure can be, battling hostile cannibalistic natives and taking on plenty of pirates from third world countries all with skin colors that are distinctly not white. Secondly, being a pulp adventure, your main hero is a square jawed white bread American everyman and thus can be seen as an agent of Imperialism, battling all of these subjugated peoples who are depicted as evil throughout the entire game. Personally I don?t see this as a malicious and overt attempt at racism or championing for the cause of white supremacy, I rather see it as an oversight on the part of the creators attempting to convey Pulp Adventure in a modern setting, hence using familiar Pulp Adventure style enemies, Pirates. According to the eminently inaccurate internet information database known as Wikipedia, Modern Piracy occurs primarily in the South Pacific, The Indian Ocean, The Coast of Somali, and sometimes in the Caribbean Sea, the Persian Gulf and the less patrolled areas of the Mediterranean. Few of these areas have a large Caucasian population, hence having Modern Day Pirates be white is inaccurate, and all research into the subject indicates that the majority of them are Indonesian, South American (there are many major pirate dens in some less developed SA nations), Indian, African and Arabian. As well according to statistics, Indonesia is a world hot bed of Piracy. Looking at the character Eddie Raja, it would not be a leap of logic to assume that he is Indonesian, as well Nathan Drake states that the Pirates are NOT native to the South American waters he is initially exploring in, rather that they have followed him and are attempting to kill him out of personal animosity, and are later hired by Gabriel Roman, as an addition to his own commando forces, some of which are most definitely Caucasian. As well the Mutants, being Ex-Spaniards, are technically white guys who have been transformed into monsters.

This doesn't mean the game creatores DIDN'T make a blunder making all the Pirates obvious ethnic minorities, but I assume it was simply an oversight in a reach for realism, not a malicious move to be intentionally racist.