Unskippable: Zoids Assault

[Tireseas_v1legacy]

Is it depressing that I actually enjoyed the cutscene without the commentary? Damn my policial science background. Plus, now that you've teased it, I'm actually interested in the audio recordings that took place 3 years prior.

CURSES!

On a nearly entirely separate note: Do you guys choose which games you do each week or does the editorial staff do that?

 

[Plurralbles]

Wait.. isn't zoids about giant animal-shaped robots? And not about military courts?

I know! I was excited for another zoids game but in all actuality it's just... using the name...
Jerks.

EDit: it is zoids!

http://www.gamespot.com/xbox360/action/zoidsalternative/video/6197436/zoids-assault-gameplay-movie-1

anyway, it's advanced wars with zoids and final fantasy esque damage calculation.

eDit 2: It doesn't look that bad if you're into fire emblem, really. Thought FE does have a better story and political atmosphere...

A review said it was a pretty damn hard game though.

 

[sougo13]

See, today i learn to always judge a game by its cutsence.

God that was boring. (The cutsence not you two)

 

[jelock]

This could quite possibly be the worst cutscene ever. But well done guys, although 'Shepard spy' that was a bit lame...

 

[Bowiesgirl]

I love the self (LRR) reference with the Ben Stein barb

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

When this started I thought it was a gameboy opening, a DS at the worst, but a 360 game? How little budget did they have?

On a side note, am I the only one who thinks that woman looks like Samus?

 

[Kyogissun]

So where were the Zoids?

LIGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's what I was thinking. How in the hell can something based off of Zoids be so damn boring?

Because it had nothing to do, as far as I know, with the actual anime series.

No awesome zoid cores combining with bigger zoids to power them up (chaotic century), no pseudo-science terminology, no over the top tournaments (new century), NOTHING APPEALING AT ALL.

Just give us some animal-like mechas, let us customize them and fight with them and DON'T BE SO SUPER CONCERNED ABOUT THE FREAKING STORY!

 

[Tsrwedge]

Was that Graham that said Metal Gear or was that soundboarded in?

 

[Raithnor]

This has probably set the low bar for "Most boring opening cutscene ever.".

What the hell system was this for? This looks like something I could play on the SNES or GBA.

I liked the overall idea of Zoids but this was SLOW.

BTW: The anime dub pronounced it GUY-los Empire, in case it matters at all.

 

[Mydnyght]

Wow. Boringest cutscene EVER.

"Speakers DO work! I apologive to anyone who turned their volume way up."
I know, Paul. It was giving us all a feeling of a silent cutscene. Then it faked us out with SOUND! Bad cutscene, bad!

Whoever voiced that Van Clyft (or however it's spelled) woman probably didn't want to be in the game in the first place, if you ask me.

"Actual music surprises everyone."
Yes, Graham. Plus I was even more surprised by actual animation of snow.

And way to reference your "Ways to Fall Asleep" sketch.
(Come to think of it, wouldn't this cutscene be a way to fall asleep too?)

Shit cutscene is shit, and it deserved the wrath of Graham and Paul. Nice job, guys. ^_^

 

[EPD001]

So background information needs more background information.
I think the Nostalgia Critic says it best: "Exposition Exposition flush it out ASAP"

 

[HK_01]

Boring....the cutscene, not the episode.

 

[Seneschal]

Oh god.
That was the single most boring cutscene in any video game ever. I mean, jesus MGS may talk forever but at least the subject is usually mildly interesting like someone getting shot or war or some shit.

It's hard to tell, but I think they're also talking about war here. Only in the most mind-numbingly dull way imaginable. Even single-cell organisms would have more exciting conversations.

This is a travesty. A crime against interactivity. I'm gonna net-crusade this game and give it one star wherever I can. >_>

 

[Jory]

Haha this was one of my favourites. Brilliantly done

 

[Jaebird]

I feel asleep subconsciously from watching this. Weird...

Not that the jokes weren't funny. You know what I mean.

 

[everfreeDragon]

I was tempted to give up, you guys are amazing to have made jokes with this, the only reason I kept watching was because I wanted to see some robots fighting, then it ended with no mention of them what-so-ever, this game disappoints me.

 

[TheDoctor455]

"And now Ben Stein reads..."

Heh.
Nice one.

Good episode overall...
sure to be an insomniac cure at least.

 

[OtherSideofSky]

...
THE F*CK WAS THAT!?

How do you get that out of a show about giant robot lions with swords stuck to their backs fighting giant robot velociraptors that breathe fire and lasers? Was the whole budget some dude's lunch money?

Great episode though. It can't have been easy to work with something so awful.

 

[Jared]

Loved the TV series...but always heard the games were quite bad...

And yeah...Blade Liger!? WHERE! ;_;

 

[ffian1]

I actually thought this was one of the funnier Unskippable's of late, personally