Useless Superpower

[blitz609]

20/20 hindsight might be a great super power.

 

[jp201]

The ability to walk through walls however I get stuck halfway through.

The ability to eat fire and get serious heart burn.

The ability to play Dragon Age 2 and beat the game two different times.

 

[zombiestrangler]

The ability to sh*t actual bricks and it doesn't hurt! Yeah!

 

[Klopy]

The power to make people's hats pop off with the power of a gem on the forehead of my wrestling mask.

Cookie points for you if you know who has this power.

 

[GrimSheeper]

The power to convince people that astrology is a hoax, but only if the planets align.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

Complete immunity to any form of medical treatment. kinda like when they try to operate on superman.

 

[Sizzle Montyjing]

The ability to grow beards onto pineapples!
That would be amusing, but useless.

 

[C2Ultima]

The ability to make cheese go bad twice as fast.

 

[theheroofaction]

Super strength only when around soft objects

 

[Hansinkdu]

The power to speak with animals, but only when your mouth is full.

Or better yet...
The power to turn any paper, towel, or similar cloth object into water with a touch, wanna dry off after a shower? GUESS AGAIN! That bed over there looks comfy, TOO BAD! Got a date? Better be at the pool, at night, in murky water, then fess up when you get discovered anyways. BLUE BALLS!

Phew... that was fun.

 

[Lewieroo0]

The power of Heart. What the fuck can you do with heart?

 

[Robot n.o 9124791234]

The power the sense when someone is about to scratch their ass.

 

[captainwolfos]

The ability to breathe underwater...

...But only while walking on it.

 

[Agayek]

The ability to smell in the dark would be pretty useless.

Depending on the level of ability, that could actually be fairly useful. Human-level senses would be fairly useless, but if you could somehow reach a canine or ursine level, you may as well just be able to see.

OT - Mine would have to be the ability to spontaneously combust, yet retain my innate burnability.

 

[Agayek]

The ability to maintain spiritual balance. I really don't give a crap about spiritual balance so all it ever does for me is go haywire and split me into a good me and an evil me, at which point the evil me runs amok and causes problem for everyone. It's a real pain.

Someone's been watching Jackie Chan Adventures.

...

Now I suddenly have the urge to find a torrent for that show and watch it again. Nostalgia can be a cruel mistress.

The power of Heart. What the fuck can you do with heart?

The kid in the show was able to talk to animals and whatnot. That's not that useless, to be perfectly honest.

 

[Faux Furry]

The ability to fly, but only while on board an aircraft.

-m

These guys must have the power of Ninja Posting, though that isn't so useless if one owns a website about useless super powers.
http://superuseless.blogspot.com/2009/01/blog-post.html

Anyway, the ability to disintegrate anything one comes into contact with using one hand while the other produces a perfect duplicate down to the last molecule of whatever was obliterated by it's opposite instantaneously. (For example:A person with a terminal illness is going to be replaced by a newly born person with a terminal illness who falsely believes that he or she has been living long with their pain and that she/he has anyone other than the person who created him/her for said pain.)Such a power would be somewhat non-conducive to conquest of mankind or liberating the oppressed.
If one hand is closed, disabled or detached, the other would lose access to its super power.

Okay, so this could be potentially useful is utilized creatively, like for squeezing large objects through small openings by putting one hand on the object and another through the opening or to kill someone only to replace them with an exact duplicate who thinks that she/he is the person who was reduced to sub-atomic particles or to free someone who is about to die anyway from wreckage surrounding them(leaving the perfect clone do enough living for the both of them), but, like context-sensitive super powers (Aqua Man could hold complete control over all of the fishing rights on the surface using his sub-sea telepathy and sink ships all over the globe)or non-combat oriented super power ideas, it has few applications for world domination or fighting off super villains(or even muggers).

How about: The power to shrink thumbnail images by using the power contained in one of the user's thumbnails but only images the size of the user's own thumbnails.

Also, the power to duplicate anyone's posts online at any time, any where.

Add-on: The ability to repeatedly slow any internet connection that one uses to a crawl but only if it isn't on purpose.

 

[Jungy 365]

The ability to heal only if the wound is inflicted by a badger.

 

[hamasins]

Really, a lot of the stock ones (controlling fire, telekinesis, etc.) would be pretty useless in everyday life haha. Unless you were a firefighter or a solider or something.

Heh I can think of some things that can be done with telekinesis :3.... Infact multiple things... Sometimes I hate my brain :S

 

[Hugh Wright]

Five pages and no one has posted this?

[http://www.superstupor.com/sust11262007.shtml]

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

The ability to communicate with plants. Useless. What interesting thing would grass have to say?

depends on what kind of grass. i bet the grass outside of important places would have some good stories. and if you could talk to all plants, and some cute local girl has a tree outside her window...
okay, my mind is wandering. point is, don't write it off as a fun superpower. i bet roses are bitches.

anyway, as for my superpower, i'd have the ability to turn any food into overcooked pasta. but i guess that would be useful for enemies, so the ability that makes me squawk like a macaw whenever i've got a karaoke mic in front of me.