Uwe Boll's Next Masterpiece Arrives In December

[Atmos Duality]

He's a better movie director than Michael Bey, that's for damn sure.

That.
That right there, is the first sign of madness.

It's one of those statements that makes you realize you're living in the Twilight Zone.

Oh, I agree with your statement. I agree completely. As abysmally stupid as Uwe Boll's movies are, at least they have a fucking plot. What does Michael Bay's recent movies have? Nothing. Nothing but two hours of filibustering done by retarded, unfunny comic relief characters while the main plot revolves around a whiny fuckhead.

In terms of production quality: It's like saying Ed Wood is better than Alfred Hitchcock...and that statement actually being true.

 

[Calbeck]

I've decided that if this crap can get filmed (seriously, Dolph as a SpecForces op in Dungeon Siege?), then My Little Pony: Action Harvest has GOT to be bankable.

In this live-action "inspired by" adaptation directed by Michael Bay, aliens from another dimension are trying to destroy both our world and Equestria by merging the two realities into one another, thereby rendering all living creatures into interdimensional "smooze" which the aliens need to consume to live.

After a lot of flailing around, running, explosions, and horrific face-melting death scenes, Princess Celestia pulls the alien reality into the mix using the soul-amplified force of the sun, so that Princess Luna can smash the aliens' orbital reality-merging machinery --- by using the MOON AS A HAMMER.

Yep. Why not.

 

[lacktheknack]

The funny part is he did a movie named Rampage back in 2009 which was ACTUALLY not that bad. Funny part? It wasn't related to any game.

Just goes to show... No, he's an asshole.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5d/Rampage_flyer.png

I'm not sure if this was a missed opportunity or not.

 

[Darks63]

Dolph hasn't looked like that in 10 years where did they get the picture for the DVD cover?

 

[RJ Dalton]

You really ought to put "masterpiece" in quotation marks.

 

[HellbirdIV]

Dolph Lundgren will probably make this worth watching.

 

[chronicfc]

HOW DOES THIS MAN GET PEOPLE TO WORK FOR HIM.

Does he pay them obscene amounts of money? Then where does he get the money from?

I reckon it's stupid teenagers who buy his DVDs ironically. Hipster assholes, funding the Uwe Boll machine with their narcissism.

They should be ashamed of themselves.

Its some weird loophole where German businesses get tax deductions for money invested in German films, so he gets financed that way. at least he did, its all very confusing, LoadingReadyRun did a good video on this a while back, as well as an interview with Uwe.

 

[masticina]

Two Worlds as subtitle...wow.. ouch

He is targeting for utter crap. Well we are ready for it get out those cheap nasty 3d effects. The story that is.. story are you still..oh he walked of the set. We just go day by day shall we. Character development that never showed up at all to begin with.. then again nobody actually hired Character Development.

We are ready Uwe, I mean it has to be better watchable then lets say Alone in the Dark. Ouch..

 

[Strazdas]

i respect Uwe for one thing. even though everyone thinks hes awful and i head comments like "he should hang himself" he still follows his dream of making movies on videogames regardless of what others has to say about it. He may not succeed in making a good movie, but for following his dream i respect him.

 

[DracoSuave]

Why will this guy not stop making movies!? WHY!? What a nutter...

Maybe because people actually watch them?

I watched Postal...Twice... I enjoyed it. It was one of those, "The Fuck is going on?" movies, and it was entertaining.

"What would you say is your greatest weakness?"
"I work too hard."
"Wrong. What would you say is your greatest asset to this company?"
"I am willing to do what it takes to help the company."
"Wrong. What is the difference between a duck?"
"What?"
"Just answer the question."


Genius if you've ever had one of THOSE interviews.

He may not succeed in making a good movie, but for following his dream i respect him.

Actually, I hear Auschwitz is pretty decent, if absolutely horrifying (and rightfully so).

Fact is, most Uwe Boll movies have problems due to budget rather than actual technical problems. Most of the problems his movies have could be solved with bigger budgets. Video Game movies don't get big budgets.

HOW DOES THIS MAN GET PEOPLE TO WORK FOR HIM.

Does he pay them obscene amounts of money? Then where does he get the money from?

I reckon it's stupid teenagers who buy his DVDs ironically. Hipster assholes, funding the Uwe Boll machine with their narcissism.

They should be ashamed of themselves.

He produces movies that I honestly have fun watching. Therefore, he gets my money. There's no 'irony' in that.

In twenty years, some visionary director is going to make an homage 'grindhouse'like movie to 2k movie shlock, and Uwe Boll's movies will be homaged warmly, just like how Hobo with a Shotgun homaged Troma nicely, and... well... everything Quentin Terantino does.

Yes, his work is on that level.

 

[Fursnake]

Uwe is still around? Well this will make for a humorous movie to give the at-home-MST3k treatment when it hits NEtflix. But FFS, the plotline has nothing to do with the games at all and is such an 80's crap throwback plot that it is sad. C'mon, he travels back in time to a fantasy world, give it up already Bol!

 

[DracoSuave]

This is why Uwe Boll should be allowed to make movies. [http://www.littlewhitelies.co.uk/dvds/auschwitz-15501]

 

[martyrdrebel27]

you know, before everyone jumps on the anti-Uwe bandwagon, go watch Postal. That was a genuinely entertaining movie that stuck pretty well to the source material and was just fun to watch regardless.

 

[Cpu46]

Plot synopsis sounds like it could possibly be good. However this is Uwe, he only does have one or two decent movies.

Also, just because the mention of Uwe Boll reminded me of this.

Spoiler: sequential art

 

[DracoSuave]

Just finished Auschwitz, just so I could give it a fair opinion.

It's powerful. Jarring. I approve.

 

[countrysteaksauce]

HOW DOES THIS MAN GET PEOPLE TO WORK FOR HIM.

Does he pay them obscene amounts of money? Then where does he get the money from?

I reckon it's stupid teenagers who buy his DVDs ironically. Hipster assholes, funding the Uwe Boll machine with their narcissism.

They should be ashamed of themselves.

He's supossed to be a pretty friendly guy with a lot of connections. Many of the stars do their work for quite a low ammount of money.

He himself says where he gets his money from: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z7UDHPWsvk

 

[Loonerinoes]

Uwe Boll, still the ultimate troll.