Video Game Characters that it Would Suck to be

[Ishadus]

Three words.

"Welcome to Corneria!"

bahahaha!! Ah the poor old school npc gate guard, forced to stand in one spot for the entirety of his life, only allowed to ever say the same couple of words over and over again, praying for a death that will not come.

Goomba was pretty good too. They just get thrown out into the world with their only combat instructions to be to waddle slowly back and forth. I'm not even sure why touching them even hurts Mario. What are they gonna do? Bump into him gently?

Hmm for my contribution....how about an Aperture Science test subject?

 

[Ticonderoga77]

Spiderman. Originally a comic book character I know but he has video games so I'm cashing in on that technicality.

Seriously FUCK being spiderman, the man's life goes from one raging nightmare low to the next. He's like Marvel's goddamned punching bag.

 

[BarbaricGoose]

It would totally suck to be any of the NPCs in an MMO. You're doomed to just stand in one spot for your entire life, not even allowed to turn in place in most cases, doomed to forever stare at the same patch of dirt/same wall/same corner until someone activates a quest that ends your miserable life for a few short minutes or until the servers go down.

Well you would get to see plenty of hotties running around in "Heavy armor." I could think of worse fates--like a hooker in any GTA game. Has anyone had sex with a hooker and then NOT killed her in that game? I didn't think so.

 

[Krinku]

Mario. WHY THE HELL DOES PEACH KEEP GETTING CAPTURED?!

 

[redeemer09]

from shadows of the damned,johnson....i really don't need to specify past that

 

[JustJuust]

AHAHAHAA OHHOHO

AH... that made me laugh for quite a while
I remember I told him to follow me ONLY to dangerous missions where it meant certain death for him...
Oh, and I pick-pocketed him whenever I could...

 

[jacobythehedgehog]

E'Lara

I am not a girl but I think it would suck to be her for two reasons.
1) Your in battles wearing nothing but a couple cloths
2) She has a big pair knockers that would probably get in the way alot

 

[MarmaladeDragon]

Another character it would suck to be would be the chicken from the opening cinematic in Fable 3. Shot dead by an angry chef when you were so close to freedom...total bummer.

But the chicken liveeeesssss!

 

[Monkestful]

All of them.

Because I want the ability to say or do whatever I want (no game can have unlimited dialogue/action options), and to have the option to go wherever, unconstrained by an arbitrary boundary set by some all-powerful creator (dev).

 

[Qtoy]

Raul was born before the bombs dropped and Lily didn't experience the Great War directly, but I see your point and agree, especially with Boone, also I think you should consider Veronica too, she becomes really sad towards the end of her personal quest and especially after you tell her about Father Elijah after Dead Money.

OT: I would hate to be someone living in the Three Kingdoms period of China who doesn't have a name.

Yeah, My bad on the born in the wasteland part, I screwed up the phrasing there.. Also, I never did get around to having Veronica as a companion, so I didn't learn anything about her except for her non-companion dialogue.

 

[tycho0042]

how about the hero from dragon quest 5? Not only mute like every DQ hero but he's got the most crapped on history ever.
Grows up traveling the world searching for his mother. Watches his father be murdered before his eyes. Spends like 8 years in slave labor. After getting married has his wife be kidnapped, then she and he both get turned to living stone for several more years. After reuniting with his family find out his mother still lives, but gets to watch her get killed before his eyes too.
I can't think of a hero where more bad crap happens to.

 

[Krxis Rowe]

Any character from the 'I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream' adventure game/visual novel hybrid. Your choices are Die, or be one of the 5 unluckiest bast**** to still be alive.

 

[ChupathingyX]

Yeah, My bad on the born in the wasteland part, I screwed up the phrasing there.. Also, I never did get around to having Veronica as a companion, so I didn't learn anything about her except for her non-companion dialogue.

You should, her personal quest gives some very interesting insight on what it's like living in the Brotherhood and the problems they face.

It also shows Veronica's much more serious side.

 

[SD-Fiend]

oersted from live a live. he lost everything and became what he was trying to defeat

 

[Ryu890]

The majority of the characters from Eternal Darkness.

 

[Dylan Keating]

Link.

Hey, listen.

 

[immortalfrieza]

I'd hate to be the main character in just about any rpg. You're basically a glorified babysitter and errand boy for half of the games and people (especially shopowners) never really seem to appreciate you saving their lives.

"I just rescued your entire family and all you can give me a discount!!"

I especially hated being the main character in fallout 3 and doing errands for people for basically nothing and then being yelled at for asking for more money even though I'm on the verge of dying and need health.
And if you steal from one person, the entire town tries to gun you down like they're all part of a hive mind.

I pity the random guards, military, whatever fighters in any game that has them far more than the heroes. I mean, they constantly have to ask for help from the main character to take out some monster that they should be able to handle themselves, and whenever any monster/villain attacks them they always die instantly in spite of the fact that in many cases they are or should be combat specialists that are trained even better than the heroes are, and if they fight alongside the heroes they die even faster.

 

[immortalfrieza]

The princess.

A helpless dumb girl who gets captured by the villain so easily and so often is pathetic

It doesn't help that between kidnappings that they never seem to do anything to prepare for next time the villain shows up to kidnap Peach, including Peach herself. The Mario Bros. themselves are guilty of this, in the RPGs they are just as weak at the beginning of the next game as they were at the beginning of the LAST one. I pity the Mushroom Kingdom's guards more than anything, they're basically useless at protecting Peach or anyone else and the usually end up getting captured, and just have to wait for a plumber to show them up and save everybody.

 

[docSpitfire]

Anyone standing on a street in a rockstar game while I'm driving...

How about anyone living in the Megaman Battle Network world...
They get hacked all the time and since everything is computerized, their whole world ceases to function... and the police have decided to recruit 4th graders to deal with the problem instead of doing it themselves.

 

[VanTesla]

Prometheus is a character I would never want to be.... Love the guy for what he did for humanity, but what he got in return was not worth it... Zeus is the biggest douche in all of the Greek Pantheon, even beating Hades in how much of a asshat he is.