Video game weapons you found most useless!

Cheesepower5

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Therumancer said:
Cheesepower5 said:
Therumancer said:
Cheesepower5 said:
Excalipur - Various Final Fantasies. Does 1 damage every time.
Excalibur II - Final Fantasy IX. Get to the last dungeon in under 9 hours and get this broken-ass sword that makes a character who already does obscene damage do a bit more.
Giant's Knife - Ocarina of Time. "Oh hey this is a good sword." "Oh... it broke."
Every weapon in any game ever with copper or bronze in its name.
Well, to be fair the purpose of Excalibur II is to trade it to unlock another playable character that you can't get legitimatly any other way. I don't know many people who actually kept the sword after getting it.

To be honest I was a bit disappointed with the small revolvers in Fallout (like most people here) but then again I have a fondness for small pistols you can easily hold/conceal in the palm of your hand. The .38 also brings back memories of "Joe Friday", a bit before my time but I remember watching "Dragnet" on USA and thinking it was kind of cool especially considering when it was made.
Wait, I've never heard of this.

Who do you get? Beatrix?
Yes, that is exactly who you get.

You know, the disturbing thing right now is that I started checking Final Fantasy IX sites to find a referance for you to prove this wasn't another "Aeris Resurrection" gag, but it seems like nobody has any information on Beatrix other than the cheat using a gameshark.

I even went and dug up my old Final Fantasy IX Strategy Guide, and unfortunatly it's that one guide that required you to use "Playonline" and it no longer seems to be supporting the FF IX keywords because it's so old apparently.

At any rate, the bottom line is that if you get Excalibur II your supposed to be able to give it to Beatrix in exchange for her joining your party. You lose the game's penultimate weapon, but get the game's best character in return.

This is why there is so much data on her and she's unlockable in the game, she can be more than a very brief temporary character, albiet you can't use her in a typical game playthrough I don't believe without cheating.

Of course I can't actually *prove* this, and it has been a long time, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt. I sort of feel stupid for mentioning something that I thought was common knowlege and then being unable to prove it myself.

At any rate now that I'm suffering allergies from dust I might as well say I believe the relevent keywords from the cluebook should be STNREX7, and EXCAL9. Between that it should be everything official on Excalibur and Excalibur 2 from Playonline, but again I can't access it, and I'm pretty sure the stuff about getting Beatrix legally is (or was) there.
It's not like you'd have any real reason to lie, it just always takes me by surprise when I hear something about these games I don't already know. And even the FFWiki didn't yield anything on a quick search of "excalibur ii." Maybe now I should give the 12 hour run a try, although I'm still in the middle of a run I started when I was bored about a year and a half ago...
 

Luhrsen

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Aug 30, 2010
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Fr said:
anc[is]The heavy weapons in ME2. To me they are either overkill or not much better than regular guns. I never found myself using them. By the time you pull it out, my soldier could have killed half of them already
Actually the atomic cannon was quite useful if you managed to save it till the final boss. 85% of his health in one shot.
 

baddude1337

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Jun 9, 2010
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Your wang in Postal 2. If anything it got you into more trouble as pissing on people, especially cops, was usually a bad idea.
 

mrF00bar

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OhJohnNo said:
mrF00bar said:
TriggerHappyAngel said:
Half of the Melee weapons in Left 4 Dead 2... why would you take a Frying Pan or a Police Baton when you can have a Katana?
The Machete & Cricket Bat makes such satisfying noises <3

The SMGs in Mass Effect 2 drove me up the wall they were so bad.
Kasumi's DLC rather changes this. But I loved my Shuriken Machine Pistol anyway. The beauty of singleplayer: you can play it however you like and not get pwned by people using the cheesiest yet most effective guns/combos.
I've never gotten any of the DLC unless it was free like the Dragon Age Origins armor, I might have to download it to see.
 

dssturn

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Oct 23, 2008
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dark-amon said:
A broom. (I won't mention any specific game)
In most games where you can use a broom as a weapon there is an arsenal of swords and other lethal weapons, but noooo go kill someone with a broom.
You need to kill a man with a broom in the assassin's creed sequels. It acts as a low level mace weapon and is fantastically amusing to use.

The Unworthy Gentleman said:
The throwing knives in Assassin's Creed Brotherhood and certain times of AC2. You can hold ten with no upgrades and it takes half of them to take out a guard. You could alternatively use one hidden gun bullet and stay undetected. You could also buy the crossbow and stay undetected too. I never used them effectively once, completely pointless.
In Brotherhood, they were good with the knife for its secondary use. If you had a horde of guards charging you and you had time to hold down the knife throwing button, you could throw up to three knives killing guards instantly.


Smash Bros- The Smoke Ball

Halo- The Needler (Original Halo only)
- The Pistol (Halo 2 only)

Perfect Dark- The MagSec
 

Jamesfox849

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Dec 31, 2010
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I'd Say any unarmed weapon in Fallout 3.
If you were playing on anything other then the easiest difficulty, even with 100 unarmed and a power fist, you were still pretty screwed against anything but the most basic enemies, though I did manage to make it to Vault 87 only unarmed.
And even on easiest difficulty, the deathclaws in the game would still kill you in a few hits if you tried to punch them to death.
And on that note: ALMOST ANY WEAPON in fallout New Vegas against the Death claws.
Seriously, those things are unblanaced as hell.
 

tstilwell

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Oct 10, 2009
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Shock and Awe said:
Lonewolfu571 said:
In real life: pistols. Seriously. Find how far away 20ft is and that's that farthest that you'll be able to hit with a standard length barrel and they get worse with the shorter barrels. Much worse.
Excuse me, but thats utter crap. Iver made a slightly large than standard size hole by shooting the same spot on a target from 7 yards(21 feet) three times and the man sized target every time, without much trouble, and I was not in good practice. This was with a Glock 19, a compact pistol. I've seen police officers at 25 yards(75 feet) fire a whole magazine and get every single shot in the head of a man sized target. Sorry, but I just had to point that out.
Most shootouts happen in less than 10 feet. . .
 

tstilwell

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Shock and Awe said:
Lonewolfu571 said:
In real life: pistols. Seriously. Find how far away 20ft is and that's that farthest that you'll be able to hit with a standard length barrel and they get worse with the shorter barrels. Much worse.
Excuse me, but thats utter crap. Iver made a slightly large than standard size hole by shooting the same spot on a target from 7 yards(21 feet) three times and the man sized target every time, without much trouble, and I was not in good practice. This was with a Glock 19, a compact pistol. I've seen police officers at 25 yards(75 feet) fire a whole magazine and get every single shot in the head of a man sized target. Sorry, but I just had to point that out.
Most shootouts happen in less than 10 feet. . .
 

Lulzer69

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baddude1337 said:
Your wang in Postal 2. If anything it got you into more trouble as pissing on people, especially cops, was usually a bad idea.
Ahh, but you're missing the point. The point wasn't to kill people, but to do hilarious stuff such as dousing a man with gasoline, lighting him on fire with a match, waiting till he burns severely, then putting out the fire with your own piss. Or you could get gonorrhea and piss in peoples' mouths to make them vomit and give you time to kick them.
 

jrubal1462

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elbrandino said:
Anything that wasn't the sword or crossbow in Assassin's Creed Brotherhood. Especially the throwing knives. They weren't useful in AC2 either. They were ONLY useful in AC1.
Throwing knives are a-freaking-mazing for killstreaks. Kill a dude or two and then start holding in square for each kill and you get a parade of tiny cut scenes where you cut one dude with the dagger and throw a knife into somebody else. I don't think think there's any group of guards in the game big enough to stand up to this, and in the VR mode it lets you start with roughly 35 easy kills. Disclaimer: I'm only about half way through the game

Unless you count that awesomeness exclusively towards the dagger....then I agree with you, the knives by themselves are pretty weak.

Personally, my vote is for the freakin' Klobb from 007. That gun set the standard for "takes an absurd amount of bullets to kill a person in multiplayer", in a game based around guns that "take an absurd amount of bullets to kill a person in multiplayer" License to kill was a must
 

whycantibelinus

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Booze Zombie said:
rescuer86 said:
How about the wrench in BioShock? Did anyone use it after they got the pistol? And the drill in BioShock 2? That thing used up fuel so fast the rail gun was a better weapon and it could barely kill the thug splicers.
You did play Bioshock, right?
The guns were terrible, I killed everything with my wrench.
Yeah if you get the right tonics the wrench is unstoppable when combined with electroshock. For some reason the higher I set the difficulty in the game the more I rely on the wrench, since enemies become so overpowered and ammo becomes more scarce.
 

tehbeard

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tl;dr.

ME2's grenade launcher, I just never had a situation that called for it over the cain.
 

Aeshi

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ANYTHING with a Ballistics Arc.

A specific example? the Hunting Shotgun (aka *unting Sh*tgun) from Killing Floor.

Runs out of ammo quickly, only two shots before reload, guaranteed to miss at anything short of point-blank range. It's only upside is the high damage but by the time enemies with enough health to warrant using it show up you can usually get the far superior AA12.

The worse part? at level 6 you start with it when at level 5 you start with the regular (pump-action) shotgun, a much better weapon. (why am I being punished for leveling up?)
 

Nanissimov

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Feb 17, 2009
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crudus said:
Assault Rifle (Halo)- Uhh, excuse me. I wanted this thing to die before the 60 bullet mark. My pistol can get the deed done in before it hits double digits. I just can never find ammo for the damn thing.

Nanissimov said:
#1) Experimental MIRV (Fallout 3) I could not find a use for it. The gun wasted 8 mini nukes which are 300 a pop (Depending on your barter skill) and were rare finds. But mind you, it only took 1 mini nuke to kill an enemy, 2 for the really hard ones (Even at a low big gun skill 2 at most) but this thing was wasting 8, 4x the amount required at most.

#2) Chinese pistol/32 pistol (Fallout 3) Yes i understand there 2 different guns but they were both utterly useless and i am not going to make two entries for each one of them. Anyways the guns were extremely weak and would earn you an instant game over if you so much as pulled it out on anything larger than a rad roach (Radiated Cockroach)

#3) M4/Shotgun (Hitman Blood money) These guns were useless in hitman because as the title implies your supposed to be a Hitman, not Marcus Fenix. They were non concealable and loud, but my biggest problem with these things is why you would want them, the pistol could be upgraded with magnum rounds, extended clips, and there was also an upgrade to make it automatic, making it a concealable silent M4. Same problems for the shotgun

#4) Poison stab (Assassins Creed 2) This had no purpose for anything other than giggles (or ad least i could not find one) it made enemies take out there swords and start waving them around.

Anyways thats what i could think of. What about you?
1. That thing was meant to be completely ridiculous. You were meant to have fun with it. Example: I shot a Behemoth with one, I literally sieged Springvale, etc. They were all hilarious and great fun. There were a lot of things that were just novelty items. The fun was in them actually existing(to a lesser extent using them).

2. I completely agree.

3. The game literally catered to everyone in their demographic. They had gameplay decisions for silent assassins and people who just want to shoot shit. These are both fun and acceptable ways to play the game.

4. I see your point. Then again this goes back to the MIRV argument. It is just hilarious to have and use.
The game is called hitman, am i the only one under the influence that you should, ohh say play like a hitman in a game called hitman? I'm sure your not supposed to storm the place guns blazing, i under stand they put the weapons in there to cater to people who like shooty shooty bang bang but if you do you certainly shouldn't have picked up hitman
 

Nanissimov

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Doc Incognito said:
Wait, the MIRV and Poison Hidden Blade are totally NOT useless.

I have very fond memories of the MIRV. I loaded up on Mini Nukes, headed to the Capitol Building, and blew the #%@^ out of a Super Mutant Behemoth. Also, bridge filled with cars + 600 mines + MIRV = WIN

As for the Poison Hidden Blade, besides allowing you to kill a guard completely unnoticed (even stealthier than the Hidden Blade) the psychotic guard would make a great distraction, and attract nearby guards (as well as civilians.) Then, you just need to throw some money on the ground and let the good times roll as people get smacked.

OP: Most of the weapons in Crackdown 1 and 2 are pointless. Once you get the machine gun with massive clips, the Firefly homing rocket launcher, and a couple of novelty items, you're pretty much set for the game.
I disagree with you about the fallout 3 & AC though you got crackdown right on the money, i found very few of the weapons useful and even less when i got my throwing and jumping skill high enough that i could kick you in the face from a mile away
 

crudus

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Nanissimov said:
The game is called hitman, am i the only one under the influence that you should, ohh say play like a hitman in a game called hitman? I'm sure your not supposed to storm the place guns blazing, i under stand they put the weapons in there to cater to people who like shooty shooty bang bang but if you do you certainly shouldn't have picked up hitman
A hitman just kills people for money which is what you do in Hitman: Blood Money. It really is up to the hitman how it gets done. You will not find a definition of hitman that includes the word "subtle".