Watch Star Wars Episode VII's First Official Trailer Right Here

[conmag9]

Just think, in a couple years, everyone will be reminiscing about the good old days of the prequel trilogy.

I'd say it's genetically, existentially, and metaphysically impossible to make a worse Star Wars film than Phantom Menace

"You underestimate my power!" ~Anakin Skywalker George Lucas

I can at least see a potential point of the light-guard thing, as it would halt attacks sliding down the blade. Still, not worth it.

The trailer left me thinking "yeah, I didn't learn a thing and they used "Awakening" as an ominous plot title. Not a great start". I'll probably end up seeing it eventually, but there's not much rush for me.

 

[Rellik San]

Can anyone enlighten me as to exactly which version of the X-Wing those fighters are, as the wing span and engine intakes aren't in line the T-65 model we see in the original trilogy.

 

[Whispering Cynic]

I fully expect this film to be somewhere between mediocre and shit (feels like a foregone conclusion, with Jar Jar Abrams at the wheel). Much to my dismay, this teaser did nothing to change this outlook.

Which is a shame, since I really love Star Wars.

P.S. That lightlongsword(?) design is retarded. There is a significant gap between the main blade and crossguard blades. So, if you tried to block your opponent's blade by letting it slide down to the crossguard (e.g. one of the primary ways you can block when fighting with medieval swords) the crossguard's emitter would get sliced off. The main blade's emitter would likely be damaged as well, not to mention your hands.

 

[Arnoxthe1]

The danger of cutting your own hands off is only half the problem.

The other half is... look at it this way. On a normal sword, there is a good reason to have a crossguard. But imagine if the middle section of the cross guard on the metal sword was instead made of butter. How useful would you imagine that cross guard would be in stopping a metal blade?

That's about how effective those protrusions would be in stopping a lightsaber.

I know exactly what you mean. One word though, my friend. Cortosis. As to why the lightsaber didn't have its entire crossguard made of cortosis,

1. Super hot plasma can obviously do much more damage to something than what a simple metal crossguard could ever do.

2. Shutting off the lightsaber retracts the crossguard too of course so it's easier to holster.

 

[Julius Ketonen]

Personally, I love the cross-guard. For whatever reason. My theory was that since one of the characters was said to be a collector of Sith artifacts (I assume that's him), he could possibly know Sith alchemy, changing the properties of the metal, therefore making the guard sensible.

And I don't see how you could possibly slice your own wrists with it. My wrists almost certainly don't bend so far as to allow that, unless you're spinning it around your hand, like with normal sabers. If his fighting style is specifically tailored to the sword, I see no problem.

Also the Force. Pretty sure nobody except a force-user could make a lightsaber work in the first place.

Ok, I admit it's goofy. But it's about "knights" after all.

 

[Ragsnstitches]

Personally, I love the cross-guard. For whatever reason. My theory was that since one of the characters was said to be a collector of Sith artifacts (I assume that's him), he could possibly know Sith alchemy, changing the properties of the metal, therefore making the guard sensible.

And I don't see how you could possibly slice your own wrists with it. My wrists almost certainly don't bend so far as to allow that, unless you're spinning it around your hand, like with normal sabers. If his fighting style is specifically tailored to the sword, I see no problem.

Also the Force. Pretty sure nobody except a force-user could make a lightsaber work in the first place.

Ok, I admit it's goofy. But it's about "knights" after all.

Not to mention that if you were tilt the sword in such a way as to risk slicing your wrists you'll likely give yourself an impromptu lobotomy on top of that. Also, I'm no expert on swordplay but I think the idea is to NOT swing your sword in such a way that the cross guard constantly bangs against your wrist... I imagine that would make for poor swordsmanship.

And as you mentioned... the FORCE! If people are arguing about the impracticality of the design and how a single slip could severe a limb then you can pretty much throw out Lightsabers altogether. The most basic Lightsaber could severe the users limb by accident. The reason why this doesn't happen is simple:

Spoiler

Anyway, on the Teaser. I didn't think much of it. John Williams score always gives me goosebumps so I can't give the Teaser credit for that. It looks like star wars, though as much as J.J's Star Trek looked like Star Trek, so take that whatever way you want.

It's a nostalgia checklist mostly. The only thing that makes me curious is the "sith" character in the snowy forest. That's about the only hook this teaser has.

But, it's only a teaser of a film that's still a long ways off after all, so I reserve my judgement until the film is out.

 

[Travis Fischer]

The danger of cutting your own hands off is only half the problem.

The other half is... look at it this way. On a normal sword, there is a good reason to have a crossguard. But imagine if the middle section of the cross guard on the metal sword was instead made of butter. How useful would you imagine that cross guard would be in stopping a metal blade?

That's about how effective those protrusions would be in stopping a lightsaber.

I know exactly what you mean. One word though, my friend. Cortosis. As to why the lightsaber didn't have its entire crossguard made of cortosis,

1. Super hot plasma can obviously do much more damage to something than what a simple metal crossguard could ever do.

2. Shutting off the lightsaber retracts the crossguard too of course so it's easier to holster.

If the whole hilt of the lightsaber was made of Cortosis, that would at least make some sense... but it still wouldn't negate the otherwise uselessness of having lasers sticking out of the side of the handle. They serve no offensive or defensive function.

You can't attack anybody with it because if you aim one of the blades at an opponent, the other one is aimed at you.
And you can't defend attacks with it unless you politely ask your opponent to direct their attacks three to nine inches away from the hilt.

 

[Proto Taco]

Well that was grotesquely average.

If there were an award for not standing out JJ Abrams would be the little gold man standing on it.

 

[b.w.irenicus]

Hmm, I totally not hyped at all. Could become a good movie, but I'm not feeling it yet. Oh, and the lase-hilt on that sith-saber looked stupid as hell.

 

[vagabondwillsmile]

WTH with the stupid lightsabre broad sword. That might be the dumbest stand-alone .5 second I've ever seen in the whole series. I want this movie to be good - and I will probably see it in the cinema but... So stupid.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

Honestly, the faked trailer that came out earlier in the week looked more coherent and interesting than this. I know it's a while before the movie even comes out, but the purpose of a trailer is to build interest and excitement... and I'm not getting either from this.

 

[Seneschal]

Tatooine? Check.
Inside shot of an X wing fighter? Check.
Millenium Falcon? Check.
Bloopie bloppy robot panicking through Tatooine? Check.

Can you FEEL the nostalgia?

That light-claymore is fucking stupid. Double edged light saber, fine, it's wieldable. But the hilt of your sword, is not meant to be on fucking fire!

Also, is it /just/ me, or does the film quality of that trailer feel a bit...amateur? A very good amateur, but not of the quality you'd think Abrams would have avilable. I dunno, maybe he's attempting to make it low fi on purpose for dem nostalgia feels.

Ironically, when I looked up the trailer on Youtube, two clickbait fan-trailers were at the top of the search results. When I finally got to the real trailer, I could hardly tell the difference.

Yes, it feels amateurish. And again it makes the prequels' mistake of placing a galaxy-spanning story onto the same locations with the same trappings. Now the galaxy feels like it consists of a single tower block, housing one extended family, and a nearby park with a sandbox.

 

[Pinky's Brain]

I get that he was trying to call back with the opening shot ... but why didn't anyone on the set tell him that for most people over 30 this will call back to Spaceballs and not Star Wars?

 

[Boba Frag]

*sighs* Sooo many people using the words 'broadsword' (a 17th century Scottish sword, not medieval one), and claymore (a large 16th century two handed sword designed with fighting pike formations in mind) in reference to that rather odd looking lightsaber.

Also, wow, the Escapist was slow off the mark with this post.

A bunch of other sites got there way faster, and I was quite saddened to see that.

Shame.

 

[Something Amyss]

*sighs* Sooo many people using the words 'broadsword' (a 17th century Scottish sword, not medieval one), and claymore (a large 16th century two handed sword designed with fighting pike formations in mind) in reference to that rather odd looking lightsaber.

Yeah, I hate it when people use common parlance to describe something in a way the general public will immediately recognise. I mean, what do they think language is? Some sort of living set of rules defined largely by culture? No! That's why we speak exactly as we did when those swords were in widespread use.

 

[elvor0]

I dunno why everyone cares so much about the lightsaber when the original trilogy had the bad evil space emperor floating around in a death star and he shot lighting. My suspense of disbelief is already suspended from that point one.

Plus it looks damn cool.

I think this has a lot of potential but I have no idea if it will be any good at this point.

Is your suspention of disbelief ruined by magic in harry potter, orcs, magic or Demi gods in LotR, or Captain America being a super soldier? I mean if you can't take lightning, how do you watch any movies with even the vaguest hint of fantastical elements?

Think of it with the best possible example. Most people will accept that Superman can fly, shoot lasers and hurl cars about. Most people will not accept that he can disguise himself as Clark Kent just by putting glasses on. The glasses are the cross guard. The crossguard is impractical and nonsensical within the universe, not our universe, the one the characters inhabit.

 

[Mahorfeus]

Think of it with the best possible example. Most people will accept that Superman can fly, shoot lasers and hurl cars about. Most people will not accept that he can disguise himself as Clark Kent just by putting glasses on. The glasses are the cross guard. The crossguard is impractical and nonsensical within the universe, not our universe, the one the characters inhabit.

I think it's just the opposite, honestly. The crossguard makes perfect sense within the context of the Star Wars universe. Asides from there being lightsaber-resistant materials the blade could be made of, or the fact that lightsabers with guards have existed before (all of that being EU granted), adding two more potential points of leverage on a weapon that is already more or less weightless seems like a good deal to me. Just like every other strange weapon in the sage, the idea that one might slice their own hands off wielding the damn thing can just be hand-waved, because there is no doubt some nuanced fighting style that it requires. In which case, the point of contention becomes more of an argument for how skilled the weapon's wielder must be.

I don't think the "Superman's glasses" analogy really fits.

 

[Sniper Team 4]

Yay! Page six of the comments! Surely my opinion will matter here!

Anyway, I'm up in the air about it. It looks like it has promise, but there were a few things that were red flags for me. Let's start with the good:

X-wings are always good! Rebel pilot in X-wing flipping a switch? Even better! Why? Because it gives me hope that we shall be returning to the glory of Yavin and Endor, when average Joes were shown in combat and were actually helpful in the fights. It wasn't just the star cast.

Stormtroopers in the drop ship look actually terrifying. I would be very worried if these guys were coming at me. They are much more threatening it seems. And surprisingly, I like the slight redesign on their helmets.

Sound effects of both roaring X-wings and TIE Fighters, as well as the blasters, are spot on.


Now for the "I'm not on board yet."

Stormtrooper with helmet off in the first shot of the trailer? No. Stormtroopers do not take off their helmets. Okay, I get that he's probably going to be a good guy--or might already be one and is just in disguise--but just no! Not the way to start.

Don't like the camera trick with the Falcon, following it through the loop like that. It screamed "Look at me! I'M COOL!" in a J.J. Abrams way. It did not feel like Star Wars. Does anyone understand what I mean? Please say yes.

No on the lightsaber. No no no. I hate it when someone tries to get creative with the design. Dooku's I could accept because it didn't change the blade. Maul's made sense because it was just two-in-one. But this? What's next? Lightaxes? Lightspears? Lighttonfas--oh, wait. We did that already.
I'm sorry, but adding a cross guard to a lightsaber just takes away from the weapon to me. It takes away the elegance and precision that the weapon implies.

 

[Falling_v1legacy]

@Mahorfeus

The thing is... it's not a crossguard. It's like having two mini-chainsaws for a hilt. If they have light saber resistant material, then it would make way more sense to make a proper cross-guard. I would buy that within the internal rules of the Star Wars universe... I would also like to see creative uses of that material- regular infantry being given anti-lightsaber batons, coating armour with it, etc. Natural consequences of a clearly potent metal.

But having two chainsaws for handles, increases the danger for the user and not just for wielder's hands. That sword must remain a full foot away from the body of the wielder at all times. If they ever lock blades, and their opponent shoves the broadsword back, the momentum must be stopped a foot away from his body/ head or risk skewering by his own blade. Including both sides of the mini-chainsaws, the sword has created a near two feet danger zone closest to the defender's body... not their opponent. Yes a lightsabre is inherently dangerous and yet Jedi wield it. I can buy that. But putting blades perpendicular to that one blade has a danger multiplying effect for the sword wielder only. There is blade pointing straight at wielder's chest! Maybe the Sith is wonderously skilled with it, but his movements are limited and he has increased the multiplied the likelihood of becoming impaled upon his own sword 'crossguard.' It just doesn't make sense within the rules already established within the Star Wars universe.

 

[killerbee256]

I'm excited. Now I have over a year till it makes sense, that is the only really down part. AS far as the X-wings flying over the water ... sorry made me squeal! Like a little boy getting a piece of candy that is sitting on a piece of pie being held up by a triple layer of chocolate cake.

It looked like a cut scene from a hypothetical rogue squadron 6 game.