Weakest protagonist EVAR!

cuchillo0

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Feb 8, 2008
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everyone is complaining aboute raiden but i already forgot aboute that guy, kojima even things out for me by giving me the ability to kick his ass in mgs3
 

Kshandamionreal

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Mar 5, 2008
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Hi, new here.

I'm going with (dare he say it?) GOKU, Yeah, I said it!

"But Goku can teleport across space even dimensions and the Kamehameha Wave and the Super Saiyin...."

Yeah and despite all that power, he has the brain of an 8-year-old as it was likely that his wife tricked him into having sex as he doesn't really care about anything, but fighting and training to fight some more. The only real reason he wins is that its always a p---ing contest between him and whatever villain is out to destroy the world where a deus ex machina comes along to make sure Goku wins. Goku even ADMITTED that he's a villain magnet at the end of the Cell Saga though he instantly comes back against Buu and in GT. Also Goku and his crew showed BALLS-OUT RIDICULOUS irresponsibility when he was given about 3 YEARS of advance warning to destroy the Androids BEFORE they could be activated and go on a killing spree, but NOOOOO!

"That's weak. I want a challenge. Let them be activated, kill people, almost kill my friends and family multiple times until I show up and pull something out my butt to save the day. We can ALWAYS use the Dragon Balls to wish everyone back!"

Everyone always compares him to a fight against Superman or Hulk, but honestly, BATMAN could beat him down by just outsmarting him. It's really not that hard as even the most "evil" of enemies never kicked him in the nads and/or interrupted his 5-minute long attacks and transformations and he'll kindly let any equally long finishing move gear up to hit him.

Goku's SUPPOSED to represent innocence, peace and determination, but honestly, he lives in a world of idiots where making money is apparently evil, no matter what the methods or intentions to do with said money, women are better nags than fighters and that the universe bends in his favor as the king idiot whether its an underestimating bad guy, a planet that's supposed to explode in minutes, but takes MONTHS to blow and of course, a new power/form to save the day.

Goku has all that power, but not only is he useless once the day's saved, but he RELIES on villains to justify his existence, otherwise he's just a bum that can only provide for his family by punching out giant fish. I'm not Superman's biggest fan, but at least when the day's over he actually HAS a life instead of being a fight junkie.
 

ReepNeep

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Jan 21, 2008
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Kshandamionreal said:
Hi, new here.

I'm going with (dare he say it?) GOKU, Yeah, I said it!

"But Goku can teleport across space even dimensions and the Kamehameha Wave and the Super Saiyin...."

Yeah and despite all that power, he has the brain of an 8-year-old as it was likely that his wife tricked him into having sex as he doesn't really care about anything, but fighting and training to fight some more. The only real reason he wins is that its always a p---ing contest between him and whatever villain is out to destroy the world where a deus ex machina comes along to make sure Goku wins. Goku even ADMITTED that he's a villain magnet at the end of the Cell Saga though he instantly comes back against Buu and in GT. Also Goku and his crew showed BALLS-OUT RIDICULOUS irresponsibility when he was given about 3 YEARS of advance warning to destroy the Androids BEFORE they could be activated and go on a killing spree, but NOOOOO!

"That's weak. I want a challenge. Let them be activated, kill people, almost kill my friends and family multiple times until I show up and pull something out my butt to save the day. We can ALWAYS use the Dragon Balls to wish everyone back!"

Everyone always compares him to a fight against Superman or Hulk, but honestly, BATMAN could beat him down by just outsmarting him. It's really not that hard as even the most "evil" of enemies never kicked him in the nads and/or interrupted his 5-minute long attacks and transformations and he'll kindly let any equally long finishing move gear up to hit him.

Goku's SUPPOSED to represent innocence, peace and determination, but honestly, he lives in a world of idiots where making money is apparently evil, no matter what the methods or intentions to do with said money, women are better nags than fighters and that the universe bends in his favor as the king idiot whether its an underestimating bad guy, a planet that's supposed to explode in minutes, but takes MONTHS to blow and of course, a new power/form to save the day.

Goku has all that power, but not only is he useless once the day's saved, but he RELIES on villains to justify his existence, otherwise he's just a bum that can only provide for his family by punching out giant fish. I'm not Superman's biggest fan, but at least when the day's over he actually HAS a life instead of being a fight junkie.
I must say that I share your opinion of that series. Its total garbage. My question is how do you know so much about it when you obviously hate it enough to stop at one episode?

I'm going to have to go with Raiden myself. I'm one of the few twisted assholes who LIKED Rose. Simply because she made him suffer.
 

BuckminsterF

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Girlysprite said:
Mario. You'd think that after Bowser has kidnapped the princess so many times, he'd finally kill the dude, but noooo.
but then he wouldn't have a golfing buddy
 

seethroughwindow

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Mar 5, 2008
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Also new here, + with that out of that way:

I'm blanking on the name at the moment, but what about that blonde girl from that easily forgetable Capcom survival-horror game where the only real thing she had going for her was that she had a dog? She seemed pretty worthless to me, though I didn't get very far in the game since within the first 10 minutes I was bored + decided to throw in something else.

Also the guy from Boy and His Blob... yeah... pretty worthless. I mean, without the Blob the game wouldn't have any action at all.
 

EnzoHonda

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Ryo from Shenmue II. He spends the whole game getting mugged by little kids, running away from gangsters, getting his ass handed to him by little old men (and women), and not flirting with girls. I know his enemy is a great martial arts master, but if you want revenge, just buy a gun.
 

TheFitcher

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Mar 5, 2008
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I'm gonna have to agree with Crash Bandicoot... I always hated that prick. Not only does he look terrible, but the whole thing in the Playstation mags at the time about him being "The New Mario/Sonic" was just embarrassing to watch, and no one bought it for a second.

He is weak by conception. The thought a group of developers banded around and THAT'S the best they could come up with saddens me. But hey, he's stayed the course, somehow. But so did Army Men.
 

GoddamnitReddas

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Feb 25, 2008
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KaynSlamdyke said:
gameking218 said:
The Chick from Portal, without that portal gun, she is a tiny girl who was easily kidnapped to take place in this exparament. Think about it...
Yes. I am thinking about it.
But then again, I'm also thinking "Sam Fischer, with no equipment". Or "Mario, with no Mushrooms". Or "Solid Snake, on a desert island with no weapons, blindfolded, hogtied, with his arms surgically removed"
You forgot 'Master Chief, no armor, no weapons, Fox only, final destination.'
 

propertyofcobra

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Oct 17, 2007
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nilpferdkoenig said:
Samus only owns because she is to stupid to hide those fucking power ups. BLONDES!
Okay, this comes from my liking of Samus more than anything else but: Where the fuck would she hide them? In her bra or something? They're attached to her goddamned armor, and generally the only reason she loses them is because her armor either FUCKING EXPLODES or COMES ALIVE AND TRIES TO FUCKING KILL HER.
It's not like she starts every game having forgotten where she left the fucking missile attachment to her gun, the game's storywriters deliberately RIP THE FUCKING POWERUPS FROM HER ARMS in every game. This cannot be blamed on her any more than Max Payne can be blamed for his family getting killed. That you fail to see this brings to my mind one simple question..
Are you a blonde? If not, how did you get so freaking stupid as to think she's an idiotic weakling who tosses her powerups aside forgetfully at every turn? (Nothing against blondes. After all, Samus is my favorite videogame heroine. But the quoted gentleman apparently does have something against every blonde on earth and decides to blame a girl's bad luck on her nonexistant stupidity)

She's a platformer/FPS heroine with SEVERAL 1-100 life bars, marking her as (as far as I know) the one FPS character with the most amount of hit points.
She's got an infinite-fire freaking plasma cannon, a plethora of explosive devices and, oh yeah what was that about superpowered freaking combat suit?

Samus is the very furthest thing from "weak character" I can imagine in a videogame. Her name shouldn't have come up in this topic, at all.
And of course, some troll mentioned freeman earlier, but seeing as everyone recognizes him for what he is, we'll just tactfully ignore the moron.

Phew, okay, that was fun.

My vote is for Raiden, simply because of his girlfriend. He's got the emotional strength of a freaking blade of grass if he actually is desperate enough to hang out with that soul-sucking ****.
 

TheProdigy

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Jan 28, 2008
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The guy from Body (Not Bio *ugh*) Harvest for the N64, a decent game back then, but after playing it the other day, hes just another generic anonymous supersoldier that doesn't speak because his helium laced voice doesn't suit his masculine facade.
 

Kayevcee

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Mar 5, 2008
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I'd have to say the main bloke from Shogo: Mobile Armour Division. Oh sure, inside his giant transforming engine o'death he's nigh-invulnerable, but when he has to get out of it to actually do some legwork of his own a couple of stray rounds sends him pirouetting towards the ground spraying unconvincing gore. The only way I found to stay alive in those sections is to get lots of critical hits which for some reason give you extra health, meaning that shooting terrorists in the balls makes him so happy that he actually heals faster. While that particular talent doesn't make him weaker per se, I'm sure the Freudian aspects of it leave him with certain psychological vulnerabilities along with being about as bullet resistant as a crisp bag.

-Nick
 

Mstrswrd

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Mar 2, 2008
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Can you specify an incarantion of a Character? If so, then Sonic from the most recent Sonic the Hedgehog. In earler games, he was fine. Also, Cream from the Sonic Advance series. So weak, she has to have a Chao fight for her. A chao. A cute little floating creature.
 

slaygore

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Mar 6, 2008
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dmc0419 said:
L4Y Duke said:
I'd say its Tidus from FFX. I don't think I need to explain why, right?
I'd have to say Tidus is topped by Vaan in FFXII, they're the same person only in addition to everything Tidus brings to the table Vaan is also completely irrelevant to the game's story.

*typo
I totally agree. At least for Tidus I don't have to do anything and he won't be killed by giant monsters and aeons but if I don't do anything for Vaan I get my ass kicked by rats. And also who the hell thought it would be a good idea to put a T-Rex in the FIRST DAMN MISSION!!!

But imo the weakest character got to be C-3P0 in lego star wars. God other than using him to open a pathway he's the most useless character ever other than being a human shield. He can't even jump!
 

gmer412

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Feb 21, 2008
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propertyofcobra said:
nilpferdkoenig said:
Samus only owns because she is to stupid to hide those fucking power ups. BLONDES!
Okay, this comes from my liking of Samus more than anything else but: Where the fuck would she hide them? In her bra or something? They're attached to her goddamned armor, and generally the only reason she loses them is because her armor either FUCKING EXPLODES or COMES ALIVE AND TRIES TO FUCKING KILL HER.
It's not like she starts every game having forgotten where she left the fucking missile attachment to her gun, the game's storywriters deliberately RIP THE FUCKING POWERUPS FROM HER ARMS in every game. This cannot be blamed on her any more than Max Payne can be blamed for his family getting killed. That you fail to see this brings to my mind one simple question..
Are you a blonde? If not, how did you get so freaking stupid as to think she's an idiotic weakling who tosses her powerups aside forgetfully at every turn? (Nothing against blondes. After all, Samus is my favorite videogame heroine. But the quoted gentleman apparently does have something against every blonde on earth and decides to blame a girl's bad luck on her nonexistant stupidity)

She's a platformer/FPS heroine with SEVERAL 1-100 life bars, marking her as (as far as I know) the one FPS character with the most amount of hit points.
She's got an infinite-fire freaking plasma cannon, a plethora of explosive devices and, oh yeah what was that about superpowered freaking combat suit?

Samus is the very furthest thing from "weak character" I can imagine in a videogame. Her name shouldn't have come up in this topic, at all.
And of course, some troll mentioned freeman earlier, but seeing as everyone recognizes him for what he is, we'll just tactfully ignore the moron.

Phew, okay, that was fun.

My vote is for Raiden, simply because of his girlfriend. He's got the emotional strength of a freaking blade of grass if he actually is desperate enough to hang out with that soul-sucking ****.
I totally agree. Samus was kickass. Sure, she would START with nothing, but she kills everything and wins all of her stuff back. At least she works for her ammo. Most characters in FPSes just get handed guns.

Weakest? So many choices... I can't pick just one. Anyone that is given an almost-invincible suit of armor and huge guns. Badass? yes. Weak? Also yes.

P.S. It's kind of unfair to name characters from casual games. There was nothing to fight in those games. If there was a sim street fighter, a. I wouldn't buy it, and b. they might show themselves to be excellent fighters. Or not. I don't know.
 

Kshandamionreal

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Mar 5, 2008
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ReepNeep said:
I must say that I share your opinion of that series. Its total garbage. My question is how do you know so much about it when you obviously hate it enough to stop at one episode?

I'm going to have to go with Raiden myself. I'm one of the few twisted assholes who LIKED Rose. Simply because she made him suffer.
Because like a lot of kids in the target age group, I lOVED Dragon Ball (missing one ep WRECKED my Saturday even if every other cartoon was brand-new) and because of the editing issues in America we got the Pilaf Saga then... JACK! for 3 YEARS before we suddenly caught a break when hearing of DBZ and its Ah-nold type of action (fun if you don't think.) The redubbing and changing to networks SEEMED like it'd lead to somewhere worthwhile, but no, the fight with Freeza (effeminate alien version of Darth Vader) gets stretched beyond belief as a fight that's only supposed to take FIVE MINUTES is stretched to a MONTH'S worth of eps, not out drama, but clearly to milk it for all its worth while the writers ran out of ideas.

Me and a friend semi-seriously joked that GT (the final miniseries) wouldn't be shown until we were college-aged and sure enough we graduated in '04 when hints of it came about on Cartoon Network. If the full show was done earlier in the '00s MAYBE I'd be a little nicer with it, but its like waiting for a tricycle when you're 6 and not getting it until you're 26. So overall, its bitterness that a show so popular is really so juvenile that once you're out of the age group, you wish to CANE its creator.

Aside from that, I have ANOTHER reason why Goku's such a weak protagonist: his mindless optimism spawned One Piece and a gangload of other series with LEAD protagonists that have ZERO skills outside their goal and purely get by "heart," which really means insane luck and friends who literally do the thinking for them.