Weakest protagonist EVAR!

[TheFitcher]

I'm gonna have to agree with Crash Bandicoot... I always hated that prick. Not only does he look terrible, but the whole thing in the Playstation mags at the time about him being "The New Mario/Sonic" was just embarrassing to watch, and no one bought it for a second.

He is weak by conception. The thought a group of developers banded around and THAT'S the best they could come up with saddens me. But hey, he's stayed the course, somehow. But so did Army Men.

 

[GoddamnitReddas]

The Chick from Portal, without that portal gun, she is a tiny girl who was easily kidnapped to take place in this exparament. Think about it...

Yes. I am thinking about it.
But then again, I'm also thinking "Sam Fischer, with no equipment". Or "Mario, with no Mushrooms". Or "Solid Snake, on a desert island with no weapons, blindfolded, hogtied, with his arms surgically removed"

You forgot 'Master Chief, no armor, no weapons, Fox only, final destination.'

 

[propertyofcobra]

Samus only owns because she is to stupid to hide those fucking power ups. BLONDES!

Okay, this comes from my liking of Samus more than anything else but: Where the fuck would she hide them? In her bra or something? They're attached to her goddamned armor, and generally the only reason she loses them is because her armor either FUCKING EXPLODES or COMES ALIVE AND TRIES TO FUCKING KILL HER.
It's not like she starts every game having forgotten where she left the fucking missile attachment to her gun, the game's storywriters deliberately RIP THE FUCKING POWERUPS FROM HER ARMS in every game. This cannot be blamed on her any more than Max Payne can be blamed for his family getting killed. That you fail to see this brings to my mind one simple question..
Are you a blonde? If not, how did you get so freaking stupid as to think she's an idiotic weakling who tosses her powerups aside forgetfully at every turn? (Nothing against blondes. After all, Samus is my favorite videogame heroine. But the quoted gentleman apparently does have something against every blonde on earth and decides to blame a girl's bad luck on her nonexistant stupidity)

She's a platformer/FPS heroine with SEVERAL 1-100 life bars, marking her as (as far as I know) the one FPS character with the most amount of hit points.
She's got an infinite-fire freaking plasma cannon, a plethora of explosive devices and, oh yeah what was that about superpowered freaking combat suit?

Samus is the very furthest thing from "weak character" I can imagine in a videogame. Her name shouldn't have come up in this topic, at all.
And of course, some troll mentioned freeman earlier, but seeing as everyone recognizes him for what he is, we'll just tactfully ignore the moron.

Phew, okay, that was fun.

My vote is for Raiden, simply because of his girlfriend. He's got the emotional strength of a freaking blade of grass if he actually is desperate enough to hang out with that soul-sucking ****.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Turrets in any game involving guns.

 

[TheProdigy]

The guy from Body (Not Bio *ugh*) Harvest for the N64, a decent game back then, but after playing it the other day, hes just another generic anonymous supersoldier that doesn't speak because his helium laced voice doesn't suit his masculine facade.

 

[Kayevcee]

I'd have to say the main bloke from Shogo: Mobile Armour Division. Oh sure, inside his giant transforming engine o'death he's nigh-invulnerable, but when he has to get out of it to actually do some legwork of his own a couple of stray rounds sends him pirouetting towards the ground spraying unconvincing gore. The only way I found to stay alive in those sections is to get lots of critical hits which for some reason give you extra health, meaning that shooting terrorists in the balls makes him so happy that he actually heals faster. While that particular talent doesn't make him weaker per se, I'm sure the Freudian aspects of it leave him with certain psychological vulnerabilities along with being about as bullet resistant as a crisp bag.

-Nick

 

[Mstrswrd]

Can you specify an incarantion of a Character? If so, then Sonic from the most recent Sonic the Hedgehog. In earler games, he was fine. Also, Cream from the Sonic Advance series. So weak, she has to have a Chao fight for her. A chao. A cute little floating creature.

 

[slaygore]

I'd say its Tidus from FFX. I don't think I need to explain why, right?

I'd have to say Tidus is topped by Vaan in FFXII, they're the same person only in addition to everything Tidus brings to the table Vaan is also completely irrelevant to the game's story.

*typo

I totally agree. At least for Tidus I don't have to do anything and he won't be killed by giant monsters and aeons but if I don't do anything for Vaan I get my ass kicked by rats. And also who the hell thought it would be a good idea to put a T-Rex in the FIRST DAMN MISSION!!!

But imo the weakest character got to be C-3P0 in lego star wars. God other than using him to open a pathway he's the most useless character ever other than being a human shield. He can't even jump!

 

[gmer412]

Samus only owns because she is to stupid to hide those fucking power ups. BLONDES!

Okay, this comes from my liking of Samus more than anything else but: Where the fuck would she hide them? In her bra or something? They're attached to her goddamned armor, and generally the only reason she loses them is because her armor either FUCKING EXPLODES or COMES ALIVE AND TRIES TO FUCKING KILL HER.
It's not like she starts every game having forgotten where she left the fucking missile attachment to her gun, the game's storywriters deliberately RIP THE FUCKING POWERUPS FROM HER ARMS in every game. This cannot be blamed on her any more than Max Payne can be blamed for his family getting killed. That you fail to see this brings to my mind one simple question..
Are you a blonde? If not, how did you get so freaking stupid as to think she's an idiotic weakling who tosses her powerups aside forgetfully at every turn? (Nothing against blondes. After all, Samus is my favorite videogame heroine. But the quoted gentleman apparently does have something against every blonde on earth and decides to blame a girl's bad luck on her nonexistant stupidity)

She's a platformer/FPS heroine with SEVERAL 1-100 life bars, marking her as (as far as I know) the one FPS character with the most amount of hit points.
She's got an infinite-fire freaking plasma cannon, a plethora of explosive devices and, oh yeah what was that about superpowered freaking combat suit?

Samus is the very furthest thing from "weak character" I can imagine in a videogame. Her name shouldn't have come up in this topic, at all.
And of course, some troll mentioned freeman earlier, but seeing as everyone recognizes him for what he is, we'll just tactfully ignore the moron.

Phew, okay, that was fun.

My vote is for Raiden, simply because of his girlfriend. He's got the emotional strength of a freaking blade of grass if he actually is desperate enough to hang out with that soul-sucking ****.

I totally agree. Samus was kickass. Sure, she would START with nothing, but she kills everything and wins all of her stuff back. At least she works for her ammo. Most characters in FPSes just get handed guns.

Weakest? So many choices... I can't pick just one. Anyone that is given an almost-invincible suit of armor and huge guns. Badass? yes. Weak? Also yes.

P.S. It's kind of unfair to name characters from casual games. There was nothing to fight in those games. If there was a sim street fighter, a. I wouldn't buy it, and b. they might show themselves to be excellent fighters. Or not. I don't know.

 

[Kshandamionreal]

I must say that I share your opinion of that series. Its total garbage. My question is how do you know so much about it when you obviously hate it enough to stop at one episode?

I'm going to have to go with Raiden myself. I'm one of the few twisted assholes who LIKED Rose. Simply because she made him suffer.

Because like a lot of kids in the target age group, I lOVED Dragon Ball (missing one ep WRECKED my Saturday even if every other cartoon was brand-new) and because of the editing issues in America we got the Pilaf Saga then... JACK! for 3 YEARS before we suddenly caught a break when hearing of DBZ and its Ah-nold type of action (fun if you don't think.) The redubbing and changing to networks SEEMED like it'd lead to somewhere worthwhile, but no, the fight with Freeza (effeminate alien version of Darth Vader) gets stretched beyond belief as a fight that's only supposed to take FIVE MINUTES is stretched to a MONTH'S worth of eps, not out drama, but clearly to milk it for all its worth while the writers ran out of ideas.

Me and a friend semi-seriously joked that GT (the final miniseries) wouldn't be shown until we were college-aged and sure enough we graduated in '04 when hints of it came about on Cartoon Network. If the full show was done earlier in the '00s MAYBE I'd be a little nicer with it, but its like waiting for a tricycle when you're 6 and not getting it until you're 26. So overall, its bitterness that a show so popular is really so juvenile that once you're out of the age group, you wish to CANE its creator.

Aside from that, I have ANOTHER reason why Goku's such a weak protagonist: his mindless optimism spawned One Piece and a gangload of other series with LEAD protagonists that have ZERO skills outside their goal and purely get by "heart," which really means insane luck and friends who literally do the thinking for them.

 

[Dealin Burgers]

Soldiers from TF2

 

[RentCavalier]

Aside from that, I have ANOTHER reason why Goku's such a weak protagonist: his mindless optimism spawned One Piece and a gangload of other series with LEAD protagonists that have ZERO skills outside their goal and purely get by "heart," which really means insane luck and friends who literally do the thinking for them.

At least in One Piece, Luffy does do some pretty OK leadership work early on. I mean, hell, at least he has a job! I mean, Goku has NO JOB. Luffy is a captain. An idiot captain, but still a captain.

 

[MagnetoHydroDynamics]

Allright just to clarify: Link is BADASS, Freeman is BADASS.
Now shittyness:
I'd say Piers from Golden sun 2, once you get past lvl 40 he's just useless.

 

[silentboblives]

mario has so much attached to him, yet really theres no dimension in terms of character depth. hes a plumber....ok.....and hes the first choice to save a princes....yeah not quite getting it...and he kills things by jumping on them......in any other game mario would be out manouvered by a simple side step then uzi'd to death.

also, pokemon trainer boy, renamed 'vagitarian' or 'I heart pikachu wink wink' seems to be quite bland

 

[silentboblives]

Also new here, + with that out of that way:

I'm blanking on the name at the moment, but what about that blonde girl from that easily forgetable Capcom survival-horror game where the only real thing she had going for her was that she had a dog? She seemed pretty worthless to me, though I didn't get very far in the game since within the first 10 minutes I was bored + decided to throw in something else.

Also the guy from Boy and His Blob... yeah... pretty worthless. I mean, without the Blob the game wouldn't have any action at all.

ok i had a boy and his blob...and that takes the cake.....what idd he do with that blob anyway.........

 

[Kshandamionreal]

At least in One Piece, Luffy does do some pretty OK leadership work early on. I mean, hell, at least he has a job! I mean, Goku has NO JOB. Luffy is a captain. An idiot captain, but still a captain.

You're likely serious, but it'd make more sense if you're being ironic. The closest thing to be considered a non-food-related idea was getting WET to fight a sand-based guy. Othewise Luffy STILL goes by the DBZ formula of screaming, blind faith, deus ex machina out the anus to win and letting his friends do the thinking for him. "Pirate Captain" is really a loose term here as he's NOT really doing anything that says "pirate" so much as being Goku stuck on a boat.

You probably have specific contradictions to what I've said that only a die-hard fan would know, but you said it yourself, "leadership work EARLY ON" not progressively better, but progressively WORSE.

 

[Mr_Vorhias]

Every single protagonist from a video game based off a 4Kids license.

Don't try to tell me that Luffy is badass when there are billions of cooler video game pirates that would curb-stomp him with relative ease.

 

[SP MeaslyBinkie]

Issac Clark from Dead Space.

 

[CmdrGoob]

Hahahah. Tidus wins at losing, he reminds me of retard Cartman.

Compare:

The messed up hair.
The vacant face.
The silly pose.
The boots.
The asymmetrical boot or arm.
The colorful clothes.
The shirt that is way too small.

Plus Tidus has the stupid looking overall/jacket thingy. And he's wearing his belt wrong because it's over his top, and it's way too high.

And Cartman is only pretending...

 

[babyblues]

Tidus from FFX, Sora from Kingdom Hearts.. You know, now that I think about it, I've hated almost every Square/Squeenix protagonist ever. They're all effeminate emos with no charisma.