Weirdest/Most Horrible Ways You've Been Woken Up.

[ExplosiveTiger]

Dog stepping on my throat.

 

[CatsAttackAgain]

My brother stabbed me in the eye with a toy sword.

 

[SangRahl]

My mom's favorite: Marbles... left in the freezer for just such an occasion.
There is NOTHING you can do to get away from them... they just keep rolling to the lowest point.

Most memorable single moment: Waking the split second before I landed, after having rolled out of the top bunk. Literally... wake, see floor, *k-thunk*

Captcha: Oefner. cernera
I swear... it had a period in it.

 

[KingofallCosmos]

Hmm... getting your bookshelf books and all on your head, bunny pissing on you cause he wants out, waking up in a fridge.

The weirdest was when this guy who liked my girlfriend snuck into our bed while we were sleeping. Suddenly I felt this hairy arm, and proceeded to kick his ass proper, but damn what a shock.

edit: Anyone know a lemoste? Lord Inglip says I have to report him.

 

[That_Sneaky_Camper]

Being woken up at 5 in the morning due to an earthquake. Great start to your morning. :/

 

[Danial]

Once had a war with someone. . I woke him up with a Macho Man Elbow (it fucking hurt), he got me back by putting me in a fucking Lion Tamer (google it, it never stops hurting if its done right) on my bed, I replaced his water by the side of his bed with lemon Juice... well he beat me with the last one.

Get a bag of ice, and a bucket.
Put the bag of ice into said bucket.
Fill the rest of the bucket with water.
wait for the water to get REALLY cold.
Pour over me.
Watch a man fucking scream his face off.


Man. Uni sucked.

 

[krazykidd]

It was the first time i slept at my current girlfriends house , and she had a cat, and the cat was used to walking around in the room jumping on and off the bed all night . So while i was sleeping the bed , that cat tried to jump on the bed , but when he jumped he rammed head first into my neck . Trust me having anything hit your neck while you sleep will wake u up pretty quickly , i half expected myself to be decapitated . When me and current gf moved in together i made her give her cat away .

 

[Aeonknight]

Back when I worked at a call center, I frequently woke up on my days off saying my opening script I'm supposed to say on every call.

I'll let you all decide whether that's weird or horrible.

 

[THEMILKMAN]

When I hit the ground after rolling off the top bunk of my friend's bunk bed. I then realized that my head was less than 2 inches away from the corner of the dresser.

Fortune, did indeed smile upon me that day.

 

[joshthor]

my dumbass cat sitting on my chest staring at my face to feed her. she is fat too so that was fun.

 

[S14]

A surprising amount of these involve cats. I have a cat and I've found that the best way to stop her waking me up is to close the door then she can't get in

 

[Jodah]

There was a fly in my room. My cat decided it wanted it. Said fly flew to the window right above my head. My face became a trampoline...

 

[THEMILKMAN]

Back when I worked at a call center, I frequently woke up on my days off saying my opening script I'm supposed to say on every call.

I'll let you all decide whether that's weird or horrible.

That's weird but understandable considering you said that day in and day out.

My ex-girlfriend told me one time when I was sleeping that I sounded like I was on Jeopardy. I said things like "Who is Abraham Lincoln." and "What is a tire iron." I don't even watch Jeopardy O_O

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

My dog staring at me with his face within inches of mine....with a big spider on his head....

Scared the hell out of me.

 

[RADIALTHRONE1]

Well back when i was in middle school my mom made me take a shower each night, and she would sometimes go to work for the night leaving me alone. One night in the winter it was late and i didnt feel like showering because i was REALLY tired, so i turned on the shower and set an alarm on my phone so i could take a five minute nap. I wake up the next morning to my mom calling me from work to tell me i had the day off, and after hanging up to go back to bed, i realized the shower was still on. Thank god she called, because she would have killed me if she had come home.

 

[J0k3]

Beaten with rebar, not the cute and soft kind of rebar, the kind they used for building construction. Why? Armed robbery, there are some things that you can only experience in South Africa and this is definitley one of them.

 

[Vault Citizen]

Someone in boarding school once did that thing where you land on someone with your elbow.

 

[gigastrike]

Rolled out of bed and whacked my temple off the nightstand. There was blood.

There was also the one time where I had a dream that I was drowning, and as I made one last desperate attempt to breath, I threw my head back to realize that I was sleeping face-down and essentially smothering myself in my own pillow.

Beaten with rebar, not the cute and soft kind of rebar, the kind they used for building construction. Why? Armed robbery, there are some things that you can only experience in South Africa and this is definitley one of them.

Why did they wake you? Were they that desperate to get past the combination lock?

 

[Drops a Sweet Katana]

I've got three, I can't pick between them.
1)Convulsing in the fetal position at 3 in the morning. Scared the shit out of me.
2)On the floor with my head under the bed.
3)After a long coach ride, elbowed the girl I liked as I did.

 

[Auninteligentname]

From my brothers viewpoint: Me
I'm horrible, to the point where I almost kick him out of his bed*. Well, a few days ago, he wished revenge. He took a box of ice cream, sneaked into my room, earlay in the mornin', and tried to sneak forward to my bed. I woke up as a pure instinct and fended him off. He got me up, but I had at least avoided a ice box to my skin.

*The reason why, is because he has slept way too long (so my mother commands me to wake him up), then I have to get him up on his feet, or else he will just go to asleep again

EDIT: On a LAN, I woke up with a stingy pain in my eye. My friends had appaerently put toothpaste onto my hand. Not only did I smash my hand into my face, but I smeared it all over the right side of my face, and some of it came into my eye.

EDIT 2:

Some of you have heard this already, but I once got woken up in a cold sweat by a dream about a huge spider trying to climb up my throat and out my mouth.

I've had a similar one, where in my dream there was a big black shadow in the foreground. Then I woke up because I felt a spider were walking on my back. But it were only shivers which went upwards from my butt to neck.