What are the weirdest/Funniest lines you heard in video games?

[Gyrefalcon]

]'Fraid not. The one that really threw me was late mid game. I think it was with a quest giver, or possibly with Alvin. It was really mindbogglingly bizarre. A mixture of non-sequiter, illogical sentence structure and irrelevance.

Go back and play it or look for it online for us! Dude! Don't leave us hangin'!

 

[Tenkage]

As said to me by a random Dark Elf chick in Oblivion "Do you know what the penalty for necrophilia is?" Me- "That depends, is it the first offence?" Her- "Well... Let's just say yes" Me- "Then about 100 gold coins" Her- "Okay, thanks! Just wondering, is all."

That one was pretty darn good! Lol. I'd forgotten, hee.

Another classic line from Resident Evil: "Now it's Wesker's time to disappear." Wha?? You people SCHEDULE these things? Really?

Then there is the whole, "Jill, as the master of unlocking..." Huh? This girl can't get through a door without a KEY!
"And Jill, you don't have a weapon. Take this." Uh so the pistol wasn't a weapon? Wait, was that a BAZOOKA he just handed her? Oh, and Chris, the guy who CAN unlock doors sometimes gets a razor to hunt zombies with, a SAFETY RAZOR?!? Wow.

a safety razor? seriously?

 

[Chordus]

Pretty much anything from Sheogorath. Though the most brilliant line comes from one of his underlings, who states that his teeth itch.

 

[Gyrefalcon]

"Hi! I like shorts! They're comfy and terribly easy to wear!" A Pokemon trainer, right before he battles you.

(snip)

I forgot that one! Downright disturbing to fight a little kid with battle words like that!

Troll in City of Heroes: "Welcome to a world of hurt, I'll be your guide."

 

[Gyrefalcon]

As said to me by a random Dark Elf chick in Oblivion "Do you know what the penalty for necrophilia is?" Me- "That depends, is it the first offence?" Her- "Well... Let's just say yes" Me- "Then about 100 gold coins" Her- "Okay, thanks! Just wondering, is all."

That one was pretty darn good! Lol. I'd forgotten, hee.

Another classic line from Resident Evil: "Now it's Wesker's time to disappear." Wha?? You people SCHEDULE these things? Really?

Then there is the whole, "Jill, as the master of unlocking..." Huh? This girl can't get through a door without a KEY!
"And Jill, you don't have a weapon. Take this." Uh so the pistol wasn't a weapon? Wait, was that a BAZOOKA he just handed her? Oh, and Chris, the guy who CAN unlock doors sometimes gets a razor to hunt zombies with, a SAFETY RAZOR?!? Wow.

a safety razor? seriously?

No, we filled that part in. TRUST ME, IT FELT LIKE THAT WAS ALL YOU GOT! Lol. The parts inside the quotes were from the game. It just didn't make any sense so we ad-libbed the rest of the character's statements.

 

[Redingold]

How in the hell has this gem not been listed yet?

 

[Tenkage]

How in the hell has this gem not been listed yet?

Well we find out its really a malfuctining AI but I guess that counts because of the situation

 

[quantum mechanic]

Most of what happens in Psychonauts, especially in the city of talking lungfish.

 

[Tenkage]

Most of what happens in Psychonauts, especially in the city of talking lungfish.

City of Talking Lungfish?

 

[Hristo Petrov]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGk9Ohc3ng8 - The line Wakka says after the al bhed's city is blown up

 

[Elurindel]

Got one that beats all of these:

"When I was five, my uncle was decapitated by a watermelon."

Props to anybody who gets it.

Fallout 2.

/google.

That is an awesome phrase, and I so want to play the game now.

Now that's just cheating. But yes, you should play it.

 

[Tenkage]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGk9Ohc3ng8 - The line Wakka says after the al bhed's city is blown up

*anime sweatdrop*....just...plain...weird

 

[[Insert Evil Laugh Here]]

I'

]'Fraid not. The one that really threw me was late mid game. I think it was with a quest giver, or possibly with Alvin. It was really mindbogglingly bizarre. A mixture of non-sequiter, illogical sentence structure and irrelevance.

Go back and play it or look for it online for us! Dude! Don't leave us hangin'!

Gah! No way! That would be like skimming through the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy, except instead of just skim reading, I'd have to stop every five minutes to stab a drowner in the nuts, and reload whenever a kikimore got the better of me.

 

[BioHazardMan]

Get me escape!

 

[Tenkage]

]I'

]'Fraid not. The one that really threw me was late mid game. I think it was with a quest giver, or possibly with Alvin. It was really mindbogglingly bizarre. A mixture of non-sequiter, illogical sentence structure and irrelevance.

Go back and play it or look for it online for us! Dude! Don't leave us hangin'!

Gah! No way! That would be like skimming through the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy, except instead of just skim reading, I'd have to stop every five minutes to stab a drowner in the nuts, and reload whenever a kikimore got the better of me.

Yikes...

 

[dragonslayer32]

Most things from Duke Nukem are pretty weird, so I'll go with that.

 

[chinangel]

i'm going with...
"I should have been the one to bring your dark soul light" something still mocked in my home. Srsly, worst line EVER.

 

[TehIrishSoap]

"The Hero's Have Returned To Earth With The Victory"
God Bless X-Men.

 

[Grayjack]

"I'm Herbert Moon!"
Herbert is God.

 

[Sifter49]

It's hard to say between NMH2 with Letz Shake: "travis touchdown explicatory gasp. Do you remember me question mark." or Alone In The Dark's bad ending: "I'm the light Bringer; i'm the FUCKING UNIVERSE!"