What are the weirdest/Funniest lines you heard in video games?

[Riddle78]

To quote Selphie Tilmitt...
"Blow it up with a rocket launcher??"
Seriously...It seems like she's not paying attention to the briefing...Then when someone mentions disabling the train,she jumps straight to the high explosives!
THAT GIRL IS INSANE!
Same with any lame pickup line that passes Irvine Kineas' lips,and his "Lone Sniper" speech.
Laguna Loire's "Power of Friendship" speech also came out of nowhere.
The common link? These characters are from Final Fantasy VIII.

 

[JaymesFogarty]

The dumbest line of dialogue I got from a boss in a saga I like like MGS- "Laugh and grow fat"

Fatman! I loved him!
On topic, probably anything from Tenchu 1. The gameplay was good, but the script made me blush.

 

[Tenkage]

Everything from postal 2

Like what?

These are some of the gem's you may hear

Spoiler

"Did somebody slaughter a goat in here? Seriously, I wanna know."

"Buttsauce!"

"You probably thought you weren't goin' to die today? Surprise!"

"I know what you're thinking, but the funny thing is, I don't even LIKE videogames..."

"Here I was, just enjoying my Second Amendment rights, and you people have to freak out on me!"

"The gene pool is stagnant and I am the minister of chlorine."

"Hey I'm just trying to exercise my second-amendment rights here ya fuckin' Communist!"

"You probably think I'm not a nice person..."

"Please don't think I'm a bigot, I kill racists equally..."

"I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women in the minorities first."

"I was pretty hungover yesterday, but I think I remember where I work."

"That one's for your mother!"

"That one's for the Pope!"

"That one's for Bobo the space-monkey!"

"That one's cause I have ammo left in my gun!"

"That one's 'cause I can!"

"Bless me, father, for I have sinned. No, really! I'm not kidding here! *Big* sinner. Yup!"

0.o wow

 

[AWC Viper]

Everything from postal 2

Like what?

These are some of the gem's you may hear

Spoiler

"Did somebody slaughter a goat in here? Seriously, I wanna know."

"Buttsauce!"

"You probably thought you weren't goin' to die today? Surprise!"

"I know what you're thinking, but the funny thing is, I don't even LIKE videogames..."

"Here I was, just enjoying my Second Amendment rights, and you people have to freak out on me!"

"The gene pool is stagnant and I am the minister of chlorine."

"Hey I'm just trying to exercise my second-amendment rights here ya fuckin' Communist!"

"You probably think I'm not a nice person..."

"Please don't think I'm a bigot, I kill racists equally..."

"I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women in the minorities first."

"I was pretty hungover yesterday, but I think I remember where I work."

"That one's for your mother!"

"That one's for the Pope!"

"That one's for Bobo the space-monkey!"

"That one's cause I have ammo left in my gun!"

"That one's 'cause I can!"

"Bless me, father, for I have sinned. No, really! I'm not kidding here! *Big* sinner. Yup!"

0.o wow

haha yeah, its a brilliant game and these quotes make is so much more.... umm, whats the word... awesomely awesome

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

The Legendary Samurai Showdown

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

"Do you know who ate all the donuts?"

Some random guy in Half-Life, said all the while the facility is being simulataneously attacked by the US army, headcrabs, and Black Mesa's poor maintence.

 

[Tenkage]

The Legendary Samurai Showdown

0.o duuuuuuuuuude....thats messed up

 

[teh_Canape]

"-would you sleep with me?
-I can't, TEH ESRB WILL GO NUTZ"

imma post this here and let you pick

 

[Z(ombie)fan]

From Ultimate Spiderman


"And so thats why I don't like turtles"

I remember one from that game when you drown.

"GLUB!?"

"wait, did I just say GLUB!?!?!?"

WTF

 

[Sinclair Solutions]

This little gem is from the Toasty Splicer from Bioshock 2 (be aware that there is no context of this remark): "...I'll teach him about girls, and then we'll get a PUPPY!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBROivyKFrs <-- about 6:49

Hell, most of the splicers have some really odd ones.

 

[Robby Foxfur]

No More Heroes 2, "When your see you Bro in hell tell him HE IS STILL A DOUCHE!!!" heard it and laughed wondering if that guy was really as massive a douche as he was made out to be.

 

[Baradiel]

Most of the stuff guards in Conviction say. It's all super cheesy lines filled with as much profanity as humanly possible, like "You're going to fucking wish you hadn't fucked with me, fucker!"

Not really wierd but still stupid. Idiotic scriptwriters ruin games.

 

[Jettling]

"What is this?! (Staring directly at a large pool of blood)"
"I can't believe, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"
"It's a can of Fizz!
"It's a Weapon, it's REALLY powerful, especially against living things"
"It might be handy if you, the Master of Unlocking, take it with you"
"That was too close, you were almost a Jhibble Sandwich!"
"It's Forest, OH MY KAWD!"
"It looks like he was killed by a CROW! Or something.."
Barry Burton, Resident evil, PS1

 

[no oneder]

Pretty much the first 5 seconds of this video:

 

[Treblaine]

"Are you just going to stand there like a lemon?" from Fable

I can see no way in which this simile makes sense, how could a lemon even stand? and if it could how could you stand like one?

As much as one may like to credit that to Molyneux, that's a fairly common British similie.

 

[Tenkage]

No More Heroes 2, "When your see you Bro in hell tell him HE IS STILL A DOUCHE!!!" heard it and laughed wondering if that guy was really as massive a douche as he was made out to be.

Ok that is funny, I'm laughing and I didn't even see the scene LOL

 

[Jjtricky]

No More Heroes 2, "When your see you Bro in hell tell him HE IS STILL A DOUCHE!!!" heard it and laughed wondering if that guy was really as massive a douche as he was made out to be.

Ok that is funny, I'm laughing and I didn't even see the scene LOL

Unskippable just did that scene - It was hilarious.

OT: "We've managed to avoid drowning" by Raiden, as said above. Not just that, the youtube responses are great.

 

[Mr. Omega]

Any line from TF2. Some examples:
"Scotland is not a real country! You are an Englishman in a dress!"
"Spah's sappin mah sentry!"
"Well, off to visit your mother!"
"Balogna! Perfect fuel for crusing tiny cowards!"
My personal favorite... "Oh, there goin' ta have ta glue you back together... IN HELL!"

Any line from the Zelda CDi games. Where would Youtube Poop be without them...

also, there here's a somewhat obscure one for you...WELCOME TO DIE!

 

[Shoggoth2588]

About 80% of the dialog from Symphony of the Night.