Tried playing Marvel Rivals;
It's been almost two years since I stopped playing PVP games. Before, I only played because my buddies would get on, and even then I was having a miserable time. My main issue was that with any pvp games, playing "casual" no one took the matches seriously. I was fine with people experimenting with new builds/heroes, but not even bothering to play the objective really made me angry.
On competitve/ranked matches, I couldn't handle the toxicity anymore. It really damaged my self-esteem, and I found myself having negative attitude, giving up, and feeling sorry for myself.
On top of that, these games usually had the worst type of monetization, which added all the more reasons for me to exit. I just couldn't handle it anymore, LOL, Valorant, Siege, Overwatch, Halo, I've left them all. Ever since then I went single-player/narrative-driven games only, and I've only felt peace. I slowly rebuild my damaged self-esteem, and began appreciating gaming as a hobby again.
Recently I have been feeling lonely, and thought to myself "Maybe I was being a bit dramatic? Should I get back into pvp games again?". So I tried Marvel Rivals.
I browsed the main menu screen for maybe 7 min, then I exited. I didn't even play the actual game. I couldn't do it. It started as a feeling of minor lump in my throat, but it kept getting worse. I could feel my heart starting to race, felt nauseating, and all those bad memories from other pvp games came rushing back. I had to turn it off.
It's been a day later, and I feel a lot better now, but the uneasy feeling is still there. I am now convinced I am fully incompatible with any pvp games. I am sure it's a fun game, and I can tell some people are enjoying the game. But I gotta prioritize my mental well-being, as well as avoid being a buzzkill during competitve.