what are you doing with your life?

[Zeldias]

I was nearly married... I have a career, a place to live and all that jazz, and I had a girl I had been with for 4.5 years! I was choosing a ring one weekend, being particularly indecisive about which one was the perfect one, when I decided to put it off... that night after I picked her up from work she inexplicably dumped me... just like that... and I didn't hang around for an explanation (was far too upset!... )

So now I am a single guy living the RAF life properly... I am mid-20's and am free to do what ever crazy idea I want! I travelled europe on a train when I came back from the middle east... I travel the country seeing friends and attending meals and functions on my weekends, and I even have 3 holidays booked for next year! (All to see friends from other countries!) Hell... I even get to do things like Escapism UK, and want to go to some con's for the sirst time too...

There is one niggling feeling though... because I was so close to settling down it still confuses me that I am not... and I often feel like I should be trying to settle down... this conflict of interests makes me over critical of girls, which I use as a poor excuse to myself for not trying to meet someone... Not so much a problem at the moment, but I have been single for about 19 months now, which has been my choice, and part of me sees that as good, and the other sees it as very wrong! :S

So that is where my life stands at the moment! Crazy party style, with a hint of guilt...

EDIT: Just realised I missed the 'other people' part... that is what makes me feel kinda guilty... the people I trained with are starting to get hitched now, but they are a couple of years older than me on average anyway... That bit I struggle to see though! In the forces there aren't really age gaps, unless you are giving people banter for it! Everyone just hangs with everyone, so it is common for the younger lads like me to feel left behind the older guys!

Totally understand that. I was extremely close to marriage, things happened that caused the relationship to end. Tried to go back, but it didn't work out. So for maybe two years I was stuck in this emotional limbo. It's like I had to recalibrate myself. The time spent single was good though, like you said. And eventually you'll find someone that meshes with you well, and have all that lovey-dovey romance stuff (unless you don't want it, in which case think of all the money you get to spend on yourself!).

Anywho, I'm teaching, writing, trying to get into a PhD program. Fairly fulfilling. Other people I know are making far more money and already really started on their careers (I want to teach college, so I'm currently on the adjunct hustle, which if you don't know, is financially spinebreaking; my best friend is making like 48k working IT at a hospital). I think I'm doing OK in comparison because I love teaching, but dammit, I wish I had more cash.

 

[Sonicron]

Eh, I don't know. Sometimes. It's usually not a matter of jealousy, though, as I'm pretty happy with the way things are. I mean, the few times a year I get home I sometimes run into old acquaintances from school, and some of them have been married with kids for a few years... but in most cases they skipped out on advanced education and turned into stay-at-home parents who depend on their spouse's generated income.
As it stands I recently turned 26 and am getting close to attaining my Master's degree in teaching. I'm still cynical and overly suspicious of other people, but I'm trying to improve my social life nonetheless; I've lost over 100 pounds this year, do sports on a regular basis now and just met a nice girl at uni, so I'll see where this leads. I still have some time to play games and write about them, too. All in all I'm doing well within the limits of what I can achieve, and even if other do even better, well... good for them. Doesn't make my own situation less satisfying.

 

[Dags90]

Right now, somewhere between Jack and shit. At least on paper. No job, not in school. I'm going to start applying to graduate schools soon. I just really need something to do or I'm going to go stir crazy.

On paper I've largely compared with my peers, recent grad. Most of the people I graduated with haven't found a job to go with their degree just yet. A few have, and I'm kind of annoyed that I haven't had anywhere near as much success.

 

[AnarchistFish]

Kinda. I don't want to be stuck in the same country with the same career for the rest of my life. I don't want my job to define me and since I'm still only about to go to university I think I'll be able to plan to avoid falling into that trap. I wonder if other people see it too.

And I've realised that even though I'm only 17 I can't waste this time. I'm horrible at using time wisely but I've taken up stuff like teaching myself a third language, and hopefully I'll end up with really good A Levels (going to Cambridge uni is still a strong possibility and even 6 months ago I would never have expected that to happen).

 

[Canadamus Prime]

All the time. Which is incredibly depressing. It's a good thing I don't use Facebook, otherwise I'd be even more depressed.

 

[Blood Brain Barrier]

Life is a "thing" that we do things with. It's the other way round - life does with us whatever it chooses. And no, this isn't some mystical-religious statement nor deterministic fatalism.

 

[trollnystan]

Constantly. I mean, I'm thirty next April and I've been on and off welfare since I was 22 because my depression, anxiety, and mild agoraphobia keeps me from holding down a job. All around me are people I went to school with - most of whom are younger than me - who are doing really well as bankers, accountants, doctors, etc.

All I want to do at this juncture is to at least be able to write out the stories that are constantly crowding my brain, but I can't even do that! D`= /Emo-rant

 

[Akytalusia]

no. we're playing different games. so there's no comparisons to be made. they can do what's best for them, and it's got nothing to do with me. i'm where i need to be. that's all.

 

[Lucyfer86]

Sure i compare sometimes, wondering if i should do something with my life.
After few seconds of pondering i just kinda go "meh" and continue wasting my time.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

A question I've been pondering myself lately, feeling adrift....

I've tried and failed at already something I wanted to do all my life, and now I'm stuck with "Well, what now?"

By spring I'll be done with college, hopefully.... And then I don't know, I'm very fortunate that my family has been all "Just get the fucking degree and we'll give you the time to figure out what you're going to do after."

Only thing I'm thinking about is maybe taking a month or so to travel, journey up through Canada to the west to see the Red Wood trees. To really experience life, I've spent for years staring at this fucking computer screen and I hate it. Once that diploma is in my hand, I want to live.

 

[wrightguy0]

yeah, nothing going on here, there was an internship i just completed, but it only made me feel even more unprepared for the future....i don't know anymore....i'm 22 (nearly 23) still at home and getting more and more irritated, i'm tired of my parents asking why i'm so grumpy all the time, my foul mood stems from the deep seething hatred i have for being stuck in this rut and everybody running down every plan i try to make to get out.

i'm tried of my life going nowhere, i'm sick of people running me down all the time, i'm fed up with this whole festering hell hole i live in, the isolation of it all, the economy here isn't recovering like it is elsewhere, and i can't even hold a job down, let alone get one, i need out.

one thing is certain, i need to change directions with my life.

 

[suitepee7]

yes, but i was in a class with at least 70% retarded assholes, so they are all doing pretty shit, and i feel like a king. i'm not doing that much, part time night shifts at a supermarket on the weekends and uni through the week, and i live with my girlfriend. i'm pretty settled, and i'm doing fairly well, so i enjoy looking at others' misfortune

 

[Arif_Sohaib]

I have closed my Facebook account since the Draw Muhammad(S.A.W.) Day so I don't know exactly know what my classmates from High School are up to. But I am 23 since November and still in 5th semester of Computer Science because I had to repeat the first year of A' Level due to failing Chemistry and deciding to change it to Computing.
Even now, my courses are lagging behind due to repeating the first C programming course (still I did get a full 4 gpa when i repeated it and again got 4 in c++ and hopefully will be getting another full 4 in assembly).
I do sometimes feel like I am too old because not only am a year or two behind in academics but due to some skin problem, half my mustache is white(and I refuse to shave it off, or dye it every few days).

 

[CommanderL]

I am twenty next year And Have never had a job I am to lazy to do anything to better myself I have also lost any creatitivty I once had

 

[Arif_Sohaib]

For everyone complaining about no jobs.

Short courses don't always work.
You can try to teach yourself programming (I think that's what Yahtzee started out as then made a few adventure games and eventually getting lucky with his Fable review) or whatever skill you like and do freelance jobs.

Also, here is a list of late bloomers(including the guy who invented KFC) from cracked.com:
http://www.cracked.com/article_19655_5-famous-late-bloomers.html

 

[deathzero021]

i think we all should compare ourselves. we want to compete right? we all want to do better right? we should find out what the competition is like by looking around and seeing what people are doing in the life.

Personally i dont think anyone should be having a child at 20 years old, if you live in the US that is. i just dont see how financially that would be a good decision. it seems like a very irresponsible decision. i have too many goals in my life, too many things i want to do. i dont want to hold myself back with having a child. all i can say is i guess these people just don't have much of an idea of what they want to do with their life.

my plan is to go into indie game development. i make amateur games by myself right now, and i'm in college for programming. so im working towards my goal and im not gonna stop until ive hit success.

 

[Easton Dark]

do I want to be trying in my 30's when my eggs are of less quality?

How dare you call older eggs of lesser quality! My mom was in her 40's when I was born.

You just see me as trash, don't you! Oh I knew it, where has my life gone where random internet people would judge me based on my egg's quality! I hope you're happy.

 

[Guffe]

I'm 21 and not thinking about geting kids.
My first childhood friends (2 of them) got kids when 16 and 17.
I don't think I'd be ready quite yet but if it by miracle would happen that I'd
1) Find a girl
2) Get her pregnant (that sounds a bit weird...)
I'd defineatly do my best, I mean my mom was 22 when she had me and my grandma was 17 when she had dad and he and me both turned out just fine. It'd be difficult but I'd do everything for my own kid, that's for sure!

 

[gphjr14]

I don't really compare myself with other people, since I tend to be somewhat better off than most of the people I graduated with. I have a full time job and am going back to school to hopefully get my masters in public health.
Being 25 and looking back most of the people I went to school with aren't doing much with their lives. They work manufacturing jobs or low skilled jobs and have kids, but as long as they're happy I can't really slight them for it. I just have higher aspirations.

 

[Brainwreck]

Nothing. I generally feel too fucking miserable to do anything productive and the disdain I get from everyone I know doesn't really help at all.