What do you do when a telemarketer calls?

[CleverCover]

I just hang up....immediately.

 

[falafax]

I let them give their pitch, allow a single painful second of silence, and then quietly ask them if this is what they wanted to grow up to be when they were young and innocent. It works every time.

 

[falafax]

And then ask to speak to their managers.

 

[Febel]

I learned more than a little bit of German in high school and college, so I generally do that. There was one priceless occasion where the Telemarketer spoke German as well and we had a 5 minute conversation or so in German on where we learned each learned it.

 

[Dresos]

I say "no thanks" you don't have to be impolite just because you don't like telemarketers.

 

[BlueMage]

I live in an area with poor service and oops, the line dropped. Sorry telemarketer.

 

[Togs]

put on a really bad accent

 

[Chelsizzle]

I make this alien noise. It usually gets them to hang up.

 

[Wicky_42]

I only ever seem to get recorded messages sent at me - fucking companies don't even have the decency of employing a real person :/ Not impressed, but normally I just say no if a human does call. Can never keep a straight face long enough to pull off something too bizarre

 

[AnAngryMoose]

I masturbate furiously down the phone until they stop talking.

I think this is a /thread. I think I'll actually try this next time instead of just hanging up straight away.

 

[eggy32]

Telemarketers only ever ask for my parents when they phone here so I just tell them they aren't here.
Sometimes they'll persist though, if they're the kind who want to do a survey, in which case I tell them I'm not 18. Then they won't do the survey.

 

[Flight]

I don't answer any phone number I don't recognize.

 

[dvd_72]

I try to be as nice as I can. They deal with shit all day I don't see a reason to make it worse for them.

Being a telemarketer is a crappy job. I say "Just a minute, I'll get him." set the phone down and go about my day. That gives the poor guy on the other end to take a breath without getting yelled at by their supervisor.

I might just start doing that. Thanks

 

[Super Duck]

One of two things, depending on my mood. I either pick up the phone and yell "We ain't got a phone!" or after they ask if they can tell me about a deal I respond with "Only if you'll let me tell you about Jesus afterward." They usually hang up at that point.

 

[KP Shadow]

For telemarketers, here's some suggestions my friends and I have come up with.

"Bob's House of Porn and Kinky Sex Toys, how may I help you?"

", how may I take your order"

"May I interest you in some fine hippo porn?"

Wait until the end of their pitch and say "Will you marry me?"

When they ask for your credit card info, say "Sorry, but I can only pay in souls, memories, pieces of someone's past, human sacrifices, firstborn children, secondborn children, red-headed stepchildren, virginity, anal virginity, oral virginity, nasal virginity, and ponies" (This being a reference to the SCP Organizations "List of things Dr. Bright cannot do", one of the things was accepting certain forms of payment. This part was actually added before the MLP craze that swept the internet.)

As for Jehova's Witnesses, it's never happened to me, but a friend of mine suggested answering naked or wearing nothing but a towel or, in the case of a man, a speedo. Either that, or I could just grab the gun by the computer desk in the living room (We can't afford a proper gun cabinet, and it's just a pellet gun, so we just stuff it in a huge sock)

 

[Veldel]

Take out a blowhorn and ask them somthing to make sure they listening then use it on said phone and laugh

I work in a market research call centre, we've had someone do that to one of our interviewers, she ruptured an eardrum. What kind of jerk are you that you'd want to ruin someones hearing? How would you like it if someone did that too you at work? Seriously, grow the hell up.

Just say no, ask them to remove you from their list. If it bothers you so much add yourself to a Do No Call Register, most countries have them.

When all is said and done they're doing a job, its not a great job and its damn hard, give em a break.

Your reply makes me laugh and no I just hate telemarketers and being the asshole I am I wish to express myself to them with the blowhorn I dont care if its a job

 

[NonyaZ]

As someone that used to be a telemarketer (we all do things we don't enjoy for money...)

1. I wouldn't stay on the line with someone if they were wasting my time, I could and would hang up on you.
2. Rude people were called back, often.
3. Adding your number to the DNC list made it easier for us to weed out those who weren't smart enough to NOT buy anything.
4. I flirt back
5. While you put me on speaker phone I'd jump off the script and start trying to sell you my shoes and hang up when you wouldn't buy them


We're not all evil people, we just need money.

I'd also say that people who fight back against that aren't evil either. They just hated being called. If enough employees hate the job and quit, perhaps the company will stop wasting time and money on something that is driving people away.

Also, did anyone ever buy anything from you then? Because most everyone I know claims not to have bought anything from a telemarketer, and also claims they never will.

Oh yeah, people bought what I had to sell. It was hourly + commission so the more people bought, the better my paycheck.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

Nothing, I used to work in telemarketing and it's not fun at all. But guess what, telemarketers are just doing a job, trying to feed themselves. You don't need to be rude or harsh, just politely tell them you're not interested and hang up - simple!

 

[NonyaZ]

Nothing, I used to work in telemarketing and it's not fun at all. But guess what, telemarketers are just doing a job, trying to feed themselves. You don't need to be rude or harsh, just politely tell them you're not interested and hang up - simple!

Those are the people I liked the most (even more so than the people who actually purchased what I sold).

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

I pick up the phone, wait till they've stopped talking and then politely tell them we aren't interested. I do this because it's someone trying to make a bit of money, a damn site more than many people are. I do my fair share of shouting at people, but never for simply doing their job.