What do you do when a telemarketer calls?

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

Option A: I pretend I'm mentally insaine.
Option B: I speak in a worse accent than them (If they sound like they are in an indian call center)
Option 3 (I realise this is a 3): I pretend there is a retarded fight going on, and I am an underpaid farmworker missing 2 teeth, and making up several odd scenarios
Option Q: I just stay completely silent, and I never break.

 

[NonyaZ]

As someone that used to be a telemarketer (we all do things we don't enjoy for money...)

1. I wouldn't stay on the line with someone if they were wasting my time, I could and would hang up on you.
2. Rude people were called back, often.
3. Adding your number to the DNC list made it easier for us to weed out those who weren't smart enough to NOT buy anything.
4. I flirt back
5. While you put me on speaker phone I'd jump off the script and start trying to sell you my shoes and hang up when you wouldn't buy them


We're not all evil people, we just need money.

 

[ArbiterX13]

I've rick-rolled them, I've copied everything that they've said, I've popped balloons to make it sound like I've been shot, my friend and I made it seem like I was holding someone hostage and he happened to attempt escape when the telemarketer called, I've written down their phone number and solicited them off-and-on for three days, I've attempted to order fast-food from them, I've pretended to be a worker in a fast-food restaurant who has no idea that he's being solicited,I'e yelled in a bizarre accident "give me back my daughter!", and I've pretended to be a worker in a psychiatric hotline. Also, one of my friends pretended to be a phone sex operator.

 

[RaikuFA]

I like the Jerry Seinfeld tactic:
"Hi I'm busy right now, but if you give me your home number I can call you back later"
"I'm sorry sir we can't do that..."
"I guess that's because you don't want people bothering you at home"
"Well yes..."
"Well now you know how I feel!"

That or if I'm playing games I just put the phone on speaker and start abusing the TV...

love that one. i usually fake a seizure or act like im taking a giant crap, it does drive them away

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

As someone that used to be a telemarketer (we all do things we don't enjoy for money...)

1. I wouldn't stay on the line with someone if they were wasting my time, I could and would hang up on you.
2. Rude people were called back, often.
3. Adding your number to the DNC list made it easier for us to weed out those who weren't smart enough to NOT buy anything.
4. I flirt back
5. While you put me on speaker phone I'd jump off the script and start trying to sell you my shoes and hang up when you wouldn't buy them


We're not all evil people, we just need money.

I'd also say that people who fight back against that aren't evil either. They just hated being called. If enough employees hate the job and quit, perhaps the company will stop wasting time and money on something that is driving people away.

Also, did anyone ever buy anything from you then? Because most everyone I know claims not to have bought anything from a telemarketer, and also claims they never will.

 

[somonels]

I just politely say no and hang up. They're just doing a job and trying to make a living like anyone else, so there's no need to be a dick about it.

Their job is to intrude on your time but yes, it's an awful job and does not justify rudeness.
I know an old man who works as one and hates it, he used to be an unemployed hermit for a few decades.

 

[QuadFish]

I pretend to masturbate, vocally.
"Hello, may I speak with the purchaser of the long distance plan in the house please?"
"One sec... zip... yeah... Okay, shoot."
"Are you satisfied with your current long distance providers?"
Uh... mmmmmm... yeah... pretty satisfied. Why, what are you offering?"
"Well, we have a limited time introduction offer..."
"Mmmm... introduction... nice... *heavy breath*... what kind of... introduction?"
"To start with"
"yes, YES?"
"We offer our new members a discount rate of..."
"Tell me about YOUR member!"
Excuse me?
Never mind, just uh.. just keep going.
Well... uh... we could offer you a discount rate...
Don't stop!
uh... a discount rate of 11.95 per month and a
Oh my GOD! Huh... huh... That is SO GOOD!
Well yes, but it gets even better if you agree now...
OH OH OH OH OH OH NNNNnnnn YEAH!
So does that sound good?
Oh, you sound great... just... fantastic...wow...
Alright, so if I can just get your credit car number...
What?! My credit card?! I've never paid for this in my life! How dare you! Don't you ever call here again!

Then I hang up.

You are my new hero.

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

I just politely say no and hang up. They're just doing a job and trying to make a living like anyone else, so there's no need to be a dick about it.

Their job is to intrude on your time but yes, it's an awful job and does not justify rudeness.
I know an old man who works as one and hates it, he used to be an unemployed hermit for a few decades.

Again, the job itself being crappy and the fact that you need the money does not make you immune to criticism, critique, or negative response from people. Nor is the phrase "I'm only doing my job".

Yes, if a person calls you up and offers you something, saying ?Go f*** yourself? is a bit rude. But it is justified, in my mind, if said person persists after you politely say ?No?. Which almost all the telemarketers I have dealt with do.

 

[theheroofaction]

2 things

Either I respond to their questions... in latin. If they don't hang up I say "Nullam tempus euismod" and hang up

Or I make it sound like a answering machine recording saying "Hello you've reached the (any uncommon last name) residence, please leave a message after the click" Then I hang up.

 

[JaceArveduin]

Relatively simple for me:
Pick up phone.
Listen to see who's on the other end.
If it's someone I don't know or care about, immediately hang up and go back to my life.

I'll tell some people they have the wrong number once, afterwards I just click my phone (open it about halfway then let it shut). It works, they do stop calling you eventually.

 

[Revolution -X-]

I go one of two routes:

1ne : Listen, I'm having dinner. Can you give me your number and I'll call you back?
2wo : You call again, and I'll sue your ass.

 

[ninjalink0]

I just say "hold on a minute," then put the phone down. they usualy catch on after about 5 minutes.

They never call back.

 

[loc978]

I ask who they work for, look the company up, and report it to the Better Business Bureau for calling a cell number on the national do not call list.

 

[liquidangry]

People pick up the phone for telemarketers? I see the 1-800 on the caller id and just ignore it.

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

I try to sell them my mom's old netbook. Always fun. Or I just keep them on the line, let them say their crap, while the phone is on speaker, and I do my stuff. Every once in a while, I ask them to repeat something, ask questions, and after an hour say, "Umm, well, it sounds great, but no." Then immediately hang up. Every second they are on the phone with me, is one second they aren't annoying others. I feel like a hero when I do this.

You deserve a medal for your actions.

On topic;

Usually say I'm not interested, or slam the phone down if I'm annoyed. More often now I just don't bother answering the phone. I work nights and can't be bothered now running down the stairs half asleep in the middle of the day to answer the phone to some telemarketer trying to sell a BT phone line or whatever. However reading this thread is giving me some ideas, I look forawrd to the next call so I can have some fun of my own

 

[Dalek Caan]

Just hang up. Not much else I can do. Other than mess around with the person on the other end.

 

[TheColdHeart]

I've been in their position (sadly) so I tend to not be a total dick to them as I've had it all myself. Usually I say I'm busy or in the middle of something and hang up.

Usually the person calling doesn't want to speak to me that much either but a job is a job and it's what they have to do.

 

[Lokithrsourcerer]

the best thing to do is ask them to hold the line then put the phone on the side that time they are on the phone but u are not costs them money.

equally if you get junk mail through the door put a few foreign coins or whatever crap u can find, anything to put the pre-paid envelope over the weight restriction so they have to pay an excess to receive the mail

 

[JochemDude]

Hello sir do you want to safe extra money?
- No, I make a shitload of money
But, don't you..
- No, I earn millions now stop wasting my time. hang up

Or

I just ignore it as I see it.

 

[FatBot]

Take out a blowhorn and ask them somthing to make sure they listening then use it on said phone and laugh

I work in a market research call centre, we've had someone do that to one of our interviewers, she ruptured an eardrum. What kind of jerk are you that you'd want to ruin someones hearing? How would you like it if someone did that too you at work? Seriously, grow the hell up.

Just say no, ask them to remove you from their list. If it bothers you so much add yourself to a Do No Call Register, most countries have them.

When all is said and done they're doing a job, its not a great job and its damn hard, give em a break.