What do you have against The Witcher series?

babinro

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I've only briefly played the enhanced edition of The Witcher and put it down within the first hour or so. It's been a few years and I haven't picked it up since. Here's what turned me off...

1) The Lore
I was immediately overwhelmed by the terminology in the game. They used fantastical terms for healing items and the like that had no relevance to me. This makes for a nice flavour touch but a terrible game play experience. I don't want to have to read descriptions all day to know which item heals me. Simply put...the game failed to invest me into it's world so that I'd actually learn it's terminology.

2) The Abnormal combat system that's didn't seem fun.
It's been a few years so I don't remember anything about it other than stances and it being boring rather than fun, tactical or offering a sense of satisfaction.

I actually own the 2nd game on steam but I haven't brought myself to install or play it.
 

Terminal Blue

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I haven't played past the first game (had two in my steam library for ages but literally can't bring myself to play it) so I can only comment on that.

Basically.. I feel about it the same way I do about the vast majority of the recent turn towards dramatic realism in fantasy, in that rather than revitalizing the genre it actually exposes just how hollow and bankrupt fantasy has become. For all its flaws, the archetypal thinking of heroic fantasy served as a way of establishing connection to our lives, of connecting the dilemmas characters were facing or their emotions with ones we might encounter ourselves. It gave us a reason to care. At the end of the day, I don't care how well realized your fantasy world is. Without an element I can recognize as relating to my own life, it's completely sterile.

That said, I'm not even sure the Witcher managed to get that far. It basically struck me as a standard heroic narrative in which all the "white" had been arbitrarily replaced by more "black". Geralt himself was and is not a realistic or understated character, he's a walking mess of badass antihero cliches nicked absolutely shamelessly from the Elric series. But the real crime is that the story completely contradicts the whole use of a game as a framing device. Geralt's dialogue is all about how passive and world-weary he is and how he don't give a shit 'bout noone, man, but he's still following the RPG hero 101 book, slaying wolves and rescuing maidens. The only difference is that the post-rescue sex is left in, and yeah, that whole thing with every female character in the game left a really bad taste in my mouth (lol). I think the point at which I officially gave up was the nurse threesome which, we are lead to believe, took place in a plague hospital.

Sorry realism. It was nice knowing you.

I'm going to invert the usual logic here. Dragon Age 2 actually did it better. It was probably a worse game (although the combat in the Witcher was pretty horrible) but storywise it actually came across like an actual subversion rather than a regular fantasy story written at a Linkin' Park concert by someone who hasn't quite grasped this whole "social ineraction" thing.
 

Cid Silverwing

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The interface.

I've never touched such an unplayable game in my entire life, and that's saying something. My Steam data says "7.0 hours", despite me not remembering playing that long. Regardless, I simply couldn't get into the absolutely daft 3-stance QTE-fest that is the combat and much less how to access my inventory or much of anything at all.
 

Vendor-Lazarus

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I've just played the original Witcher so I can't speak for any sequels.

I could overlook the tacked on sexy stuff. I kind of liked the setting and theme.
If pushed, I could live with the very clunky combat..

What absolutely killed it for me is the camera.
For the life of me I cannot get around playing an entire game in a skewed perspective..I just cant.
The isometric camera feels like it missing lots of features, such as zoom and being movable.
An immovable camera does not play well with the combat at all.

In a nutshell, that one thing ruined the entire experience for me? The camera.
Which is also a part of the reason I wont be playing Elite: Dangerous or Star Citizen either.
 

Haerthan

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Zhukov said:
Boo!

Firstly, I'm not remotely interested in getting into a wank-off between Bioware and The Witcher. If the best you can say about a game is, "That other game is worse", then how good can it be?

Secondly, my experience with the series is a brief foray into the first game and a complete run of the second game.

The first game was just plain awful. Looked like shit, janky animation, characters that look and talk like ventriloquist's dummies, empty and lifeless environments. Combat was shit, you just select the appropriate move set then click when the little curser lights up. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. Voice acting was extra special shit, bored sounding amateurs everywhere. (And yes, I played the "enhanced edition" which apparently had improved voice acting, I hate to think what the non-enhanced version sounded like.) I got to the first quest hub and decided I had better ways to spend my leisure time.

The second game initially impressed me. There's a thread somewhere in the depths of these forums [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.285308-The-Witcher-2-Assassins-of-Kings-Pleasantly-surprised#11252180] in which I praise the game and encourage people to check it out. That was written by me when I was part way into the first act (the town of Flotsam).

However, after the first act the pacing went straight to hell. The second act dragged like an injured leg. By the third act I was bored out of my gourd and just going through the motions.

The combat was unimpressive. The controls have this awkward delay on them and were clearly designed with the console release in mind. That's when they weren't just plain bugging out on me. You're nearly halfway through the game before you can unlock enough options to spice things up a bit. Too little, too late.

Checkpoint placement and saves. Oh Christ. This is where the game really lost me. Remember the fight with the battlefield demon... thing? So if it kills you, (because, oh, random example, my controls just bugged out for the thirtieth time) you have to watch a short unskippable cutscene, then watch two NPCs have an unscripted fight, then you have to fight a handful of random enemies while using a gimped character that can't dodge, parry or use items and abilities, then walk down a path, skip through some shitty dialogue, fight a miniboss and finally skip some more shitty dialogue before finally getting another crack at the actual boss fight. And no, you cannot save during any of that. What kind of base incompetence causes a developer to not put a checkpoint before a fucking boss fight?

After that I just said, "Fuck you game, prepare to be cheesed." Then I crafted a bajillion bombs and spammed them for the entire rest of the game. Worked like a treat.

Characters were boring as shit. Geralt is an emotionless, expressionless drone who stabs and fucks. But hey, maybe they were going for a blank slate sort of protagonist, so let's see who else there is. Triss. She gets her tits out a couple of times, then sits at a bar for a while before getting kidnapped for the rest of the game. No personality to speak of (seriously, try to name one personality trait for her). Then there's the dwarf. He's... a dwarf. Can't think of a single thing about him. Then there's the bard, I think his name was Dandelion. He's a bard. He's a bit of a ladies man, or thinks he is. Can't think of anything else about him. There's Roche, who at least has consistent and coherent motivations. Great, we've reached the 101 level of character writing. Oh, and there's his right hand girl who'll fuck you if you beat her in a fight.

The only character I felt remotely attached to was Iorveth. I liked his world-weary affect. Gave him some actual personality which put him head and fucking shoulders above the rest of the cast. Although on reflection I'm not sure if that was intentional or if his voice actor was just flat.

The sex thing. Okay, so Geralt and Triss are a couple. Cool. They have sex from time to time. Makes sense. The game is very matter-of-fact about that. Yay maturity.
Hey look, continuous allusions to rape. Well, fine, makes sense in context.
Hey look, here are some prostitutes making out with each other in their spare time. Because that's totally what prostitutes do. Ooooookay. I thought we were being mature here?
Hey look, the mage chick is whipping her assistant with a crop. Hot, right? Yeah, getting into fanservice territory now. Especially given that its not remotely relevant to anything at all.
Hey look, "lesbomancy". Aaaaaaand you've lost me.

The story did not impress. It starts off strong and focussed. King assassinated, Geralt blamed. Find assassin, clear name. Gotcha. Then act 2 bogs everything down in fantasy politics. Okay, fine, the story is expanding, I can dig that. Then act 3 rolls around and all the politics boils down to "The evil empire was being evil again". Yay. Oh, and the whole Assassin of Kings thread boils down to "They payed me", "Oh, okay then, peace out". Couple that with not giving a shit about the characters and I was well and truly done.

...

Hey, you asked for it.

I should note that, despite my seething, petulant disdain for The Witcher, I do quite like CD Project and I am at least curious about that Cyberpunk game they have in the works.
Damn man, yoou really hated it didnt you? But you still gotta admit the lesbomancy part was hilarious as fuck. Lost my shit when the lesbomancy and whipping scenes popped up. Really funny shit.
 

BathorysGraveland2

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As someone who's a massive fan of the franchise (even so far as to read all the crappy fan translations of the books), I'll freely admit one problem present with both games is an overall lack of polish. It's exceptionally rough around the edges in regards to movement, camera control and the transition of cut scenes to real time. Quite janky in places. I can certainly put up with the flaws for everything else it offers, but I can understand why others cannot.
 

sonofliber

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Lol

Gerald is suppost to be like that, he is a mutant, he barely qualifies as a man, why does everyone want to fuck him? Magic + impotence + no illness + not a shit lot to do. Same reason why a lot of mages are nimphos

You want to know why it considered mature? It deals with political turmoil, racism, ugly facets of the war.


Also fuck ciri, bloody retard ****.
 

NemotheElvenPanda

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My only issue with the games are that they're so difficult and that there's so much to do at once. The acts usually feel drawn out and getting missions done can take more time and effort than they should. My two cents; the games excel at pretty much everything else in my option and experience.
 

omega 616

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To me, it's like they went out of their way to make it needlessly complex. One sword for monsters and one for humans? Can the monster one not as easily kill humans?

Been awhile since I thought about that game, so I can't think of any other examples but I do remember yahtzee gives a pretty good summation on why I don't like it.
 

Zhukov

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Haerthan said:
Zhukov said:
[Le snip]
Damn man, yoou really hated it didnt you? But you still gotta admit the lesbomancy part was hilarious as fuck. Lost my shit when the lesbomancy and whipping scenes popped up. Really funny shit.
I... can't say I found either of those scenes all that funny.

They just struck me as fanservice. "Hey look, some sex! Please love me!" Which isn't the worst thing in the world, but it doesn't jive with the "OMG, so mature" thing I keep hearing. It's about as mature as a bunch of thirteen year old boys sniggering over a porno they found.
 

Casual Shinji

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I only played The Witcher 2, and I really didn't make it very far into that one.

I don't mind the grimdark, and I don't mind the naughty bits (of what I've seen).

It's the action gameplay that can fuck right off. It's horrendous. The game states I need to prepare with potions and shit before engaging in most battles, but how the hell is that an efficient strategy when I don't know when I'll run into anything while adventuring? It's like a hindsight mechanic; *runs into pack of wolves* 'Oh darn, shoulda popped some potions beforehand.' Or what, am I supposed to constantly save and reload my game everytime I encounter any enemy? Ugh... Seriously, I'm sure it's looked down upon by the PC community, but just make it a hack 'n slasher so we atleast have satisfying action.

And apparently this was the optimized version of the game. *cough*

Then there's the characters who for all I know might be extremely deep and interesting, but the voice acting of whom is so fucking blasé and uncommited that I don't give a rat's ass about anything they're saying. It's like the entire cast of characters consists of Bioware protagonists... that aren't Jennifer Hale.
 

CpT_x_Killsteal

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I'm on the fifth act of the first, and I've played through the prolonged tutorial of the second.

I don't understand the criticisms everyone gives it. Either, they're too small to matter, or they just seem wrong (to me).

While the combat is old school, I wouldn't call it clunky by any means. It was actually quite simple.
I'm a perv, so the sex cards didn't bother me.
The characters were interesting regardless of what anyone says, you just have to actually talk to them and think. People have gotten too used to Bioware games and no longer understand subtlety.
I'm not sure grim-dark is the right name for it. Yes it's a shitty place surrounded by monsters, deadly political intrigue, and impending race wars, but many of the characters are actually trying to make the best of the situation, or atleast live with a purpose and some dignity. If it was grim-dark they'd all be either depressed or violent.

I don't know, maybe what other people see as scars, I see as marks of beauty.

erttheking said:
I don't know what the hell happened but I was constantly being told to investigate people I had never heard of before and had the ability to accuse the investigator of not being honest with me when I had no fucking idea why I would want to do that. BUT APPARENTLY I WAS SUPPOSED TO!
From what I can remember, you're amulet goes nuts when you're near him, detecting magic. There was more to it than that, but I can't recall it from memory.
 

Tsun Tzu

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I actually own both games (sales over on GoG and steam...I'm weak) and haven't played through either.

The game mechanics immediately sour me on the experience. Too cumbersome, feels janky, UI isn't exactly what I'd call friendly, potions pre-combat, etc.

But...I bought them.

Why? It's CD Projekt Red.

The "Good Guy Greg" of developers.
 

endtherapture

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SajuukKhar said:
endtherapture said:
it's just all there and feels normal.
That's the problem though it doesn't feel normal, it feels like they deliberately put it there just so they could go LOL BEWBS!
Maybe to you, but it depends how much you see boobs in your every day life ;) For example, I find it's showing of boobs in the beginning with Triss a mature approach. Let's be honest, when you're sleeping with a girl, you're allowed to see her tits. So after a night of sex (what adult couples involve in) and sharing a bed, it's very likely that your girlfriend is just gonna go to sleep naked as she feels comfortable with you, thus tits. I find it more refreshing than fantasy medieval characters wearing weird cloth bras to maintain their dignity.
 

Uriel_Hayabusa

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I like and have finished the first two games; but they weren't perfect. Both had really clunky menus and their fair share of glitches. The second game also had that dwarf city that was a chore to navigate.
 

Haerthan

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Zhukov said:
Haerthan said:
Zhukov said:
[Le snip]
Damn man, yoou really hated it didnt you? But you still gotta admit the lesbomancy part was hilarious as fuck. Lost my shit when the lesbomancy and whipping scenes popped up. Really funny shit.
I... can't say I found either of those scenes all that funny.

They just struck me as fanservice. "Hey look, some sex! Please love me!" Which isn't the worst thing in the world, but it doesn't jive with the "OMG, so mature" thing I keep hearing. It's about as mature as a bunch of thirteen year old boys sniggering over a porno they found.
Well I know I am immature, so I know I found them funny. Otherwise the scenes were ok. Didn't think they were that fanservicey though. I understand where you are coming from. And the mature thing comes from its dealing of politics. At least in my eyes.
 

Kingjackl

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What I have against it is that The Witcher 2 didn't run on my computer when I bought it. That's normally fine, seeing as my computer isn't that good and I don't expect to be able to play those kinds of games on it.

The problem is, it's also one of those games that the master race crowd shove in your face constantly, to remind you of the status and power you will never wield. I've watched Game of Thrones, I don't think I'm missing much from the Witcher that I haven't already seen.
 

Casual Shinji

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Kingjackl said:
The problem is, it's also one of those games that the master race crowd shove in your face constantly, to remind you of the status and power you will never wield.
I thought they did that with every damn game on the PC.

But if that is the representation of their power, I'm more than content in my little console mud pool.