What is Love? Does it exist?

[Superhyperactiveman]

Hmmm, well since we already know that the overwhelming majority of the escapist is of a religious persuasion (/sarcasm) let's consult the Bible!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Seriously, there are so many ways of thinking about love, it's astounding. C.S. Lewis (best known for his "Chronicles of Narnia" series) wrote a book called "The Four Loves" in which he categorizes 4 different varieties of love and describes them

1 Storge (Affection)- fondness through familiarity, especially between family members or people who have otherwise found themselves together by chance. It is described as the most natural, emotive, and widely diffused of loves: natural in that it is present without coercion; emotive because it is the result of fondness due to familiarity; and most widely diffused because it pays the least attention to those characteristics deemed "valuable" or worthy of love and, as a result, is able to transcend most discriminating factors. Ironically, its strength is also what makes it vulnerable. Affection has the appearance of being "built-in" or "ready made", says Lewis, and as a result people come to expect, even to demand, its presence?irrespective of their behavior and its natural consequences.

2. Phileo (Friendship)- A strong bond existing between people who share common interest or activity. Lewis explicitly says that his definition of friendship is narrower than mere companionship

3. Eros (Romance)- love in the sense of 'being in love'. This is distinct from sexuality, which Lewis calls Venus, although he does spend time discussing sexual activity and its spiritual significance in both a pagan and a Christian sense. He identifies eros as indifferent. It is Venus that desires the sexual aspect of a relationship, while Eros longs for the emotional connection with the other person.

4. Agape (Charity)- The love that brings forth caring regardless of circumstance. Lewis recognizes this as the greatest of loves, and sees it as a specifically Christian virtue. The chapter on the subject focuses on the need of subordinating the natural loves to the love of God, who is full of charitable love.

Christian or not, I highly reccomend the book on the basis of it being a fascinating read.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

Love is playing Borderlands with your fiancee, then having sex with her.

It's awesome.

I suppose I should put something in there about getting on very well together, knowing each other very well, blah blah blah.

Love is just one of those things that's hard to explain. Those who've never been in love, are the least qualified to try and describe it.

When you fall in love, you know. It's as easy as that.

agreed with this. and with someone you are in love with, even when you do argue and fight to hell and back, you will still be with/love that person at the end of the day. (granted this hardly happens but its bound to happen at least once eventually where you piss your partner off)

When you find the right partner, you will know, it's just one of those awesome things that is hard to find, because looking for it is like looking for diamond in minecraft, you will spend hours upon and hours and only find lava and cobblestone.

 

[Doclector]

Does love exist? Yes, but for different reasons than people think. People think love is some deeper attraction to each other than physically, which I just don't think is true. Do you ever see a truly hideous person in a relationship? No. You do not. People say they like a person for their intelligence, or sense of humour, but that is only a denial of the simple primitive nature of humankind, their true nature.

 

[Danny Ocean]

Apparently love isn't anywhere near as exciting as it's made out to be. It's much more fulfilling.

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing
But I
I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything
The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
But I
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know
But I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
You ought to give me wedding rings

/sop

​

 

[michael87cn]

I can't stand threads like this; "what is love?" "why is murder wrong?" etc. when you know the poster knows the answer, but they just want to see a big debate happen over it.

Yes love exists. Everything alive needs love. Everything alive feels pain when they are not loved.

Love is an emotion/deed that can be given/shared to/with someone/something else by an act or word. In essence love is performing/giving/informing something for someone/something else, sometimes at your own expense and sometimes not.

Love is doing things that aren't always easy or pleasant, but in the end right.

Love is something that overpowers all else, including the so called logic of the natural man and science, his religion.

 

[pubbing]

True love is a very personal decision one makes in their life. True love is not a feeling, feelings are fleeting but it is a choice that you make. True love means that you choose to cherish another individual despite all of their faults, True love means that you choose to forgive another individual for any wrong they have committed against you. True love means that you give up desires for yourself to make another person happy.

Those butterfly feelings are not true love but a chemical reaction created for procreation, those feelings come and go but true love stays because you choose for it to stay. True love is very hard work, giving up things for the other person, putting up with wrongs the other has committed against you and other bullshit.

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

Love is playing Borderlands with your fiancee, then having sex with her.

It's awesome.

I suppose I should put something in there about getting on very well together, knowing each other very well, blah blah blah.

Love is just one of those things that's hard to explain. Those who've never been in love, are the least qualified to try and describe it.

When you fall in love, you know. It's as easy as that.

now this might just be genius at it's true form. at least that's what I think.

 

[Jack_Uzi]

I'm inclined to say that love is just a mere 'chemical(s)' (in the brain). But on the other hand I'm a too big of a romantic to fully embrace the thought that it can only be based on that.

*Edit: To answer your question about what love truely is: it's lifting you up and never lets you down, it's laughing at your antics instead of frown, it accepts you for who and what you are... and sometimes hits you by surprise... just like a car. (Wherever the f*ck this may have come from.)

 

[Random berk]

Love is playing Borderlands with your fiancee, then having sex with her.

It's awesome.

I suppose I should put something in there about getting on very well together, knowing each other very well, blah blah blah.

Love is just one of those things that's hard to explain. Those who've never been in love, are the least qualified to try and describe it.

When you fall in love, you know. It's as easy as that.

Can't put it much better than this.XD
Love may produced by hormones and pheromones, and it may not be resistant to negative input, but no one can honestly say it doesn't exist, or that it has no meaning. If you find the right person, then its also about more than sex. You feel more comfortable with someone you love than with someone you just met in a bar, and you can enjoy doing simple things like walking, or playing a game more than with someone that you don't love.

Does love exist? Yes, but for different reasons than people think. People think love is some deeper attraction to each other than physically, which I just don't think is true. Do you ever see a truly hideous person in a relationship? No. You do not. People say they like a person for their intelligence, or sense of humour, but that is only a denial of the simple primitive nature of humankind, their true nature.

Someone's appearance has some importance in a relationship, but it isn't the dominant factor. Have you ever seen a lasting, happy relationship between an intellectual person and some Jersey Shore monkey? Assuming the monkey is good looking, not just muscular/ large breasted, and covered in fake tan.

 

[SkellgrimOrDave]

BABY DON'T HURT ME.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

There was a time when I thought like you did. I was bouncing from one short, miserable, relationship to another. Never comfortable, certainly never happy. I thought love was a crock of crap people made up because it was something I'd never experienced for myself. I couldn't imagine limiting myself to just one girl because none of them made me happy. Marriage was an utter joke.

I grew up on campy 80s movies that told me women want a hero who will hold the door open for them and give them flowers. When you act that way to real life women, they smirk, and then crush you under the feel of their shoe. I was convinced it was all a horrible game that I wasn't given the instruction manual for.

Then I met my current girlfriend. We've been in a relationship for three years now, getting married this Spring. I'd say.... YES. Love is real. There's no one I'd rather be with than my girlfriend. I can't IMAGINE someone I'd rather be with. Her flaws only make her more appealing to me. Where I'm angry she's happy. She's indecisive, I'm impulsive. I'm sit inside and play video games, she's lets go for a walk to no where in particular. I'm RPG and MMOs, she's Metal Gear Solid and Pokemon. We complete each other. I'd be utterly and completely lost without her. It's a feeling of completeness that you can't even begin to describe. It's like trying to describe color to someone who's never been able to see or taste to someone who's never eaten food.

All that pain I've gone through only makes me appreciate her more.

So, in short, yes love exists. When you find that person that's perfect for you, it's a very powerful feeling. It's more than "omg I want to sex you" or even "omg I want to be with you" it's a "My life would lose all meaning if you went away"

this is a much better description for what i was going for. kudos to you good sir and congrats

just too add in also on that "my life would lose all meaning if you went away" this is basically true, your dependency on your significant other becomes so intense, you don't look at them constantly with a "damn i wanna fuck that ass" as more of a "there is the love of my life =]" kind of way.

 

[0_Insomnis_0]

Speaking as a man of science, the feeling we call "love" is a rush of hormones and neurotransmitters flooding our brains. It evolved in humans as a way to renforce the social behaviors that the survival of our species all this time has depended upon. (same reason yawns are contagious, by the way!) But on a deeper, more emotional level, it's for one to find their own meaning. Love is complicated. We've all been there, and everyone finds meaning eventually.

 

[Gruevy]

Because those feelings are, simply put, there to trick you (in my opinion). Once they fade, people don't stay together. I have the numbers to prove it.

again, you're getting too caught up on what love should be. it's vague, incorporeal, and unbounded, it can't be pinned down by statistics. the feelings aren't there to trick you, they're merely indicators of attraction,and you're making yourself miserable by denying them.

What I question was whether or not my feelings were genuine.

you experienced them, they exist, they were genuine in themselves, but you're overthinking it and obviously beating yourself up for not living up to your ideals. all i can say to that is to try not worry about that too much, you're only human.

 

[ServebotFrank]

This seems to me like some way to whine about a past relationship on the internet. You raised a question up and when Daystar Clarion tried explaining to you, you used this thread as an excuse to whine about your previous relationship and try to garner some sympathy. In fact all you've been doing this entire thread is been giving out bits and pieces of a sob story that happened to you. Sorry that happened but you shouldn't be on the internet complaining about it.

 

[WaderiAAA]

My parents have a small picture in the kitchen with the text "love is to wash the dishes together".

I'm not sure if true love exists or not, but I'm looking for it nonetheless.

 

[Legion IV]

Yes, people describe love to be a chemical reaction within the body or that it's just an urge to want a family, or primarily sex. Honestly, love has much more meaning. It doesn't even have to be love for your wife or husband. Love can be the matter of accepting someone or something so close that despite it's flaws, you wouldn't leave it for that.

This is exactly the thing I think is impossible. There will never be a point where love involves accepting someone despite their flaws. If someone becomes hurt, or changes, love will not keep others nearby. The others will always leave. When it stops being advantageous to the individual, they will leave. For example, say someone suffers an accident and becomes physically disabled or disfigured. Who will stand by him? No one. No matter how close they were before, the individuals friends would find the time they spend with him more and more strained, less and less enjoyable. Eventually, they will leave.

It's only logical.

Only gonna respond because of how wrong you are, from my personel experiances.

Oh fwaks i never really liked you from all the hate you gave me months ago but it was fun, you always seemed happy. I hate to see anyone upset but am more annoyned by your current attitude.

I know its been said 100 times but am gonna say the same thing. The only reason your saying all this crap is cause your hurt thats it. Your upset about a relationship and you now feel love is just nothing. Comon man, be the smart fwaks i use to know. It just your emotions going crazy, i had the same thing happen everyone whos been in a relationship as had this happen. Half the crap your feeling is all chemicals. who knows how long it will take for you to recover and become the good old fwaks this forum loves. 6 months? 5 years? I dunno but it wont be like this forever unless you force itn to be this way.

Now for you asinine statement. You say once it inconveniences someone they'll leave simple as that bullshit. A quik story moment that ruines everything you said.

Many a millenia ago, i met this little girl forget exatcly when but it was at a park, me being much older i didnt really care but she was playing gameboy, was playing pokomon gold i think if i remember. She told me about all these pokomon asked me what i had and how we should duel our pokomon, such exitcment in her eyes lol. I was all bleh about it cause yet again am older its not cool to hang with the younger kids. We played pokomon every few days when we would see eacthother at the park (i go for a walk everyday and i always go past the park)

Now fast forward, she got into this big car accident from this fucking idiot driver on the way to the park. Cant even remember how shocked i was, I was on very good terms with her parents i practicly the big brother to her. I biked all the way to the hospital and you couldnt beileve how bad it was. You have this little girl not even a teenager in a bed bandages everywhere. She lost an eye terrible scars everywhere. a huge one on her left arm. They thought she was going to die. I spent all my time at the hospital, i nver went to class, failed so much stuff everything you could think of thats an "Inconvenience" She turned out alright, some scars will never be gone, she still has a huge one on her left arm so she wears this really long wool glove over it which is now a staple in her style. Were best friends still, Am taking her to a fighting game tournament in a few days in which we've been practicing for, the people there dont care about her scars, they just know she has a kick ass Dormamu,Doom,Sentinal mvc3 team. I did all this for a girl i hardley knew iut all started out with Pokomon. Even though i was like 4 months behind in school and all that other shit (Try getting a phone call at 3 in the morning from her folks because shes crying her eyes out and since your her gaurdian figure you have to go there and hold her till she can go back to sleep because shes depressed that every kid makes fun of her because of her scars).

I dont regreat doing any of it, i'll do it again for her if i have to. Shes not blood, shes my fiance just my best friend.

So fwaks i hope you recover and think diffrently.

If you honestly think your gonna stay this way and be that cold all i have to say is.
I hope all your friends find out this veiw of you and just leave you and stop hanging with you because your basically a gaint leach then. If i don't get enjoyment out of our friendship were done, your just my entertainment, disgusting.

 

[Ugert]

As I just went through the breakup between my fiancee and I, I can actually say love does exist. It's not logical, and often makes no sense whatsoever. In fact, I can say with absolute certitude that love is the most illogical and honestly sometimes just plain dumb emotion in the universe. I've had my fiancee in my life for 7 years, and proposed to her 2 years ago. I have learned through this time that love is the ability to put aside whatever problems you have to listen and help with their problems; to give them absolute support in whatever they do, even if it means leaving you; It's realizing that you really do care for them more than yourself.

Actually, Least I Could Do said it perfectly :
http://leasticoulddo.com/comic/20040520


Really, I can't begin to express how painful love can be, but it's something that everyone should really experience. This is the reason for our existence; to see if we can put aside our ego and truly give another person all the attention and care that we all need.

 

[Ladette]

Love is playing Borderlands with your fiancee, then having sex with her.

It's awesome.

I suppose I should put something in there about getting on very well together, knowing each other very well, blah blah blah.

Love is just one of those things that's hard to explain. Those who've never been in love, are the least qualified to try and describe it.

When you fall in love, you know. It's as easy as that.

Wow....I was going to say something about love being different for everyone, but this post is just brilliant. It's kind of like a tingling sensation that makes you goofy, it isn't something that you can just analyze and look at logically, and there's really no way to define it.

Or maybe......
Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razer
that leaves your soul to bleed

 

[PrototypeC]

I don't understand people who say Love doesn't exist. Of course it exists, we wouldn't bother with other people otherwise! We wouldn't survive as a species! If they ask about True Love, that's a little thornier.

I'm curious what other people think. Is there such a thing as true love? Or is it merely a thing our mind does to trick us in order to propagate the species, or is it a societal norm that has been reinforced over time? Feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions.

A lot of the greatest deeds done by mankind have been done out of basic needs... sure, logically Love is part of a larger whole that involves lust, attraction, a certain amount of overlooking another person's flaws, all out of physical reactions... but logic isn't the be-all end-all. Just because all human feelings begin with "survival" and "procreation" as the center of them, doesn't make them ignoble or unimportant. The human mind is more complex than that.

If you ask me, Love is easy to find. When two people say they're in Love like that makes everything perfect, I worry a little bit. Just think, off the top of your head, how many movies end with everything OK just because two people fell in Love?

True Love... I think it's a beautiful, wonderful and utterly strange thing when two people Love each other to the point of self-sacrifice, to the point of doing literally anything to bring their chosen other happiness. I respect that. I respect it, just as I respect scientists, doctors, God and death; because it's beyond me and I don't understand it. I want to fall in Love that way someday, to be so happy and lost in another person that even my logic fails me. There's something special in that.

 

[spartandude]

Love may only be a chemical reaction and electronic current going on in the brain to cause us to have sex. But we still give it meaning, its still important to us