What is the worst way you've woken up?

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Psykoma

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Nov 29, 2010
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Three different ones.
First: Physical pain:
Waking up because of a charley horse in my calf super painful.

Second: External interference: needs a bit more explanation:
When I was a teenager I had thrown a party at my house. Some stayed overnight, and the next morning I was sleeping (obv), and two of my friends decided to get my laptop, open it up to goatse, place it right in front of my face and scream in my ears to wake me up.
Oh god I freaked out so much.


Third: Internal disturbance
I had a dream that my cat was running around, and she went to jump up on a curtain to climb it (like she's prone to do) but instead of catching on the curtain gives way and she goes out the open window behind the curtain. She lands on the ground like 4 stories below, and her back paws break off and she's trying to crawl around :'(
I woke up immediately, I was so terrified. I just wanted to move and feel tha she was okay and safe next to me. But my body was so cold (I've rolled around in snow banks in a bikini before, and that was like sunbathing on a beach in the summer sun compared to how cold I felt waking up there).
I tried so hard to be able to move my body, but my mind was just freaking out way too much for me to move.
Never watching another horror movie again. Positive that's what made this happen :(

(I'm freaking out more than a little bit just remembering it)
 

lacktheknack

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Jan 19, 2009
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Sleep paralysis sucks. I'm lying there with my eyes either pasted closed or pasted open and having a total night terror. I don't know what I'm afraid of, but I'm scared sick of SOMETHING, dagnabbit!

It's only happened three or four times, but all of them sucked.
 

Dr. Crawver

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Nov 20, 2009
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friend of mine once thought it would be hilarious to wake me up by stomping on my balls. I threw up from the pain and shock.

I got my revenge though, the guy has a crippling fear of snakes, so I got a corn snake (perfectly harmless), slid it into his bed, and filmed the whole thing.
 

aceman67

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Jan 14, 2010
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You normally wake up early for work, so on your day off, you decide to sleep in.

Your scumbag brain wakes you up not only in the morning, but a couple minutes BEFORE your alarm normally goes off.

cpt blackamar said:
I got my revenge though, the guy has a crippling fear of snakes, so I got a corn snake (perfectly harmless), slid it into his bed, and filmed the whole thing.
Post Footage, or it didn't happen.
 

Easton Dark

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Jan 2, 2011
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Freezing cold with mosquitoes biting at me (as they were the night before) and birds right outside that wouldn't shut the fuck up.

Michigan is not a fun state to vacation in.
 

Dominus Nox

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Oct 21, 2009
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Being kicked awake by my neighbour for passing out on the outside staircase leading up to our units.
 

GTwander

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Mar 26, 2008
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Came home drunk as a teenager after hooking up with an older girl and my dad caught me. In one hand he was kind of proud of me, but on the other, he was pissed and was determined to make me suffer for it.

Apparently that day I promised to clean up my room, but didn't, so when I came home drunk I told him I'd do it in the morning because I was gonna pass out at any given moment. He wasn't having it, so by the time I fell asleep on my futon he threw a bucket of cold water on me and told me to get cracking (at like 2 am). I said "fuck'm" and tried to go back to sleep shivering cold, until he came back in like 20 minutes and physically threw me out of bed.

Was the first time me and the old man got into a fistfight, but not the last. Family tradition at this point.

lacktheknack said:
Sleep paralysis sucks.
I've had that half a dozen times, have narrowed it down to sleeping on couches with my neck crooked over the armrest. Each time it was like waking up without control of my body, and not being able to open my eyes or breathe. In 1-2 of the situations I was able to focus on getting one arm to work as commanded, usually straining to reach up at thin air just to get my faculties back until I take that deep breath and wonder what the fuck is going on.
 

Jak23

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Oct 1, 2010
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cpt blackamar said:
friend of mine once thought it would be hilarious to wake me up by stomping on my balls. I threw up from the pain and shock.

I got my revenge though, the guy has a crippling fear of snakes, so I got a corn snake (perfectly harmless), slid it into his bed, and filmed the whole thing.
You poor bastard. Waking up to a snake is not NEARLY a big enough prank, considering.
Btw, can I have that video?

On topic, the worst I've ever woken up too, would have to be a (large) spider on my face.
 

lacktheknack

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Jan 19, 2009
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Psykoma said:
Third: Internal disturbance
I had a dream that my cat was running around, and she went to jump up on a curtain to climb it (like she's prone to do) but instead of catching on the curtain gives way and she goes out the open window behind the curtain. She lands on the ground like 4 stories below, and her back paws break off and she's trying to crawl around :'(
I woke up immediately, I was so terrified. I just wanted to move and feel tha she was okay and safe next to me. But my body was so cold (I've rolled around in snow banks in a bikini before, and that was like sunbathing on a beach in the summer sun compared to how cold I felt waking up there).
I tried so hard to be able to move my body, but my mind was just freaking out way too much for me to move.
Never watching another horror movie again. Positive that's what made this happen :(

(I'm freaking out more than a little bit just remembering it)
Sleep paralysis! Fun for the whole family!

You unfortunate enough to have a nightmare right before it. Basically, in sleep paralysis, your brain wakes up before your body. This results in awareness and sometimes small motor movement (eyes, for instance), but your body is still asleep. This can cause extreme cold (as happened to you), auditory/visual hallucinations (those suck so hard), nausea, and general terror (your brain totally panics during the experience). And, of course, paralysis.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

It's often known as "The Devil On Your Back".

So far, there's no way of decisively triggering it if you have isolated experiences, so your horror movies should be safe. It's really really freaky when it happens to you and you don't know what it is, so I hope I helped.
 

Jamieson 90

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Mar 29, 2010
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When I was around 14 I brought a combat knife home with me from Thailand. Well my older brother (6 years older than me) thought it would be amusing to poke me with the knife while I slept. so yeah you can imagine it ended pretty badly. I woke and saw a knife coming at me and I did what I think any person with a sense of self preservation woudld do, yeah you guessed it I stuck my hand out to protect my body and ended up nearly cutting my fingers off.

The surprising thing is that it didn't even hurt, but there was bloody literally eveywhere and I mean everywhere. Had to rush to hospital to get it all stiched up and my mum practically killed my brother for being so utterly stupid. So yeah I 'll just conclude by saying the following, 'honestly who pokes a sleeping perosn with a kinfe and expects it to go well?' and he's supposed to be the older more mature brother (rolls eyes).
 

Psychedelic Spartan

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Sep 15, 2011
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This morning, with my mom losing her shit because wait for it... last night, I accidentally took out quartered chickens, rather than whole chickens to defrost. Not to mention yesterday. Renovations, fun for the whole family! I need my beauty sleep! I'm not even in my own room for the next few weeks!
 

Phisi

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Jun 1, 2011
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wet face cloth... on your face. Wake to the feeling your about to drown and you face is bloody cold.
 

Dfskelleton

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Apr 6, 2010
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I don't know why, since we don't hunt, but my family has a turkey call.
Anyways, one day I was asleep and my younger sister decided to wake me up by shoving one end of the deer call down my ear and then blow as hard as she could.
Urrrgh.
 

Buizel91

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Aug 25, 2008
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Sometimes, i will be laid on my left arm, and when i wake up, my arm will be completely dead, its dead to the point where i can't move it, but i can pick it up with my right arm and it will be all floppy until the blood circulates again...funny but annoying, especially when you raise your shoulder only for the bottom of your arm to hit you in the face -.-

Also when you wake up and the cover has fallen off the bed, cause then you have to move to put your cover back on :(
 

Blow_Pop

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Jan 21, 2009
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People yelling or slamming my door.
Dogs barking outside my window.
Dogs walking across my stomach.
Dogs licking my face.
 

Buizel91

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Aug 25, 2008
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Voidrunner said:
Worst way I woke up was probably in the dead of night with a hand around my throat, for a few seconds I was sure someone was stangling me before I realised it was my own hand. It was some kind of sleep paralysis, I couldn't control my arm for some reason, I managed to get my other arm between the frozen one and my throat and just lay there for what felt like an hour before I could move both my arms again. The arm had pins and needles for a good while after that, needless to say I had a bit of trouble getting to sleep after that, wondering if it would happen again.
Oooooo forgot to mention that, i get this like once, maybe twice a month but damn it's a *****!

For those who don't know, Sleep Paralysis is basically where your brain is awake, but your body isn't, your are concious of everything around you but you cant do anything, its a struggle to simply swallow sometimes, which can block your breathing. Luckily i have learned to put all my thoughts into moving my arm and hand closer to my leg/body so i can pinch myself, works every time, but damn it's scary as hell.
 

MeChaNiZ3D

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Aug 30, 2011
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I got a thigh cramp once that woke me up, I immediately straightened my leg and propelled myself and blanket into the back of my chair, and then the ground. Another time, although not nearly as bad, my arm had managed to have its circulation cut off and was lying across my face, but it couldn't feel anything so I thought it was a bag or something and threw it off the bed, almost dislocating my shoulder.
 

Vicarious Reality

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Jul 10, 2011
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The only thing i can recall was like two days ago when i woke up with lower stomach pains which probably come from drinking energy drinks or some shit and as i waddle through our long apartment to the toilet i get horridly heavy and slow heartbeats, felt like i was going to die on the toilet, my chest got cold and tingly all over
Thank you risperidone