What is your deal breaker?
- Thread starter jimahaff
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Funny you should say that. I remember listening to some kind of talk radio years and years ago and there was someone who was saying that you cannot physically love more than one person. The specifics of the show escape me but I habe always remembered that line. They said it as if it were some sort of biological impossibility to do so. Now I don't believe that and never have done. We can feel many things for many people and to varying degrees, but I don't think we are incapable of loving more than one person equally.thenumberthirteen said:
As such, I wouldn't want to enter such a relationship, as I would prefer to focus on just the one person. But that's more of a preference to remain monogamous more so than an actual inability to be polygamous. I can see, however, how that might work out for other people.
I know that I feel a variety of things for people I meet every day. Some people I feel very little for and others have intrigued me to the point of imagining myself with them romantically. I would never consider actually acting on such a base desire but it would be wrong of me to deny that such a feeling exists inside me at times. That is where the trust comes in. My girlfriend can trust me not to act on such things as much as I can trust her not to indulge her own fantasies. Of course, should the day arrise in which said fantasis can no longer be held at bay, I'd like to think we'd both be mature enough to realise that our relationship needs to either change or end.
When I say "I love you" I mean it and I know she means it to. Should the day come when either one of us no longer means it, it will break my heart. So I guess that's my deal breaker right there!
Smoker, drug addict, both definite noes. Serious personality problems are a definite deal breaker. He cannot be one of the Great Old Ones. 
Stupidity, Ignorance, and lack of open-mindedness are also big deals. I don't know that a poly relationship would be a problem. If I'm not hated it's an improvement from being single.mireko said:
You... might want to word that diffrently. We've a lot of people who may take umbridge to that. Not that I care what they feel, it's just you don't wanna get jumped on for that.jimahaff said:
OT: If they were an atheist, I don't think it would work for me.
what is a cthulhu? there is only one.tobi the good boy said:
To Topic:
Being either stupid or/and blonde
oh thanks for reminding me, that, just the opposite. I could be mean and say i already mentioned this above, but yeah, religious gals wont see me again after breakfast.CM156 said:
Thanks for the heads up, but I am not going to hold back my opinion to suit the opinion of somebody I don't know; if they can't handle my opinion that's their problem not mine. And while I normally wouldn't be this in your face about it, but once it is out there I am not a person who takes back his words without a good reason.CM156 said:
But if anyone is offended by this I would like them to know that I didn't mean it as an attack against them, I am just explaining how I feel.
Back no topic now; this would be a good example of another deal breaker for me; when someone is too easily offended, or who take everything personally.
Smoking(I like being able to breathe and not be sent into asthma attacks), lack of intelligence(I need to be able to have a conversation with you), extreme narcissism(If everything HAS to revolve around you I can't deal with it), actual drug usage(if it is a drug and you are taking it for medical reasons depending on the drug and the reason I can excuse it but I am speaking more recreational drug usage and marijuana usage even for medical reasons I can't deal with), overly clingy/borderline stalker(I need my space damn it. It is nice to be wanted but I need breathing room), and unable to take a joke(I can't stand people who take themselves and everything else around them too seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself).
Poor spelling and grammar. Oh dear lord. That is another can of worms entirely. I have friends who complain that I don't talk to them anymore and it is because of how they text me. I have them blocked from text messaging me. I should not need someone to decipher your message to me. Especially when you graduated valedictorian from high school and are working on a Master's or Doctorate degree and can't be arsed to spell out "to" "too" "two"(though if you are referring to the number I will accept the actual number being used) or even "you" correctly.
I think I covered everything....
Poor spelling and grammar. Oh dear lord. That is another can of worms entirely. I have friends who complain that I don't talk to them anymore and it is because of how they text me. I have them blocked from text messaging me. I should not need someone to decipher your message to me. Especially when you graduated valedictorian from high school and are working on a Master's or Doctorate degree and can't be arsed to spell out "to" "too" "two"(though if you are referring to the number I will accept the actual number being used) or even "you" correctly.
I think I covered everything....
I'm just think it's ok to indulge in fantasies every so often, and it can even be good for a relationship. Particularly given the scenario at the end of your post where it could lead to the end of an otherwise good relationship.Proverbial Jon said:
Really my views on the subject have only really been tested twice. Once as I described in my first reply where she slept around constantly (had at least 3 other guys on the go at any time), and the second involved another girlfriend who slept with her dealer to feed her drug habit. Those were tough times that really pushed the limits and make me really think about how I view relationships, but I stuck through, and am better off for it.
EDIT: You know, for once, I'd like an ordinary non psychotic or emotionally scarred girlfriend. You know one where if I don't here from her for a day or so I don't worry that she's taken an overdose or slit her wrists. I'm starting to wonder if I just have bad luck, or I'm subconsciously attracted to damaged women.
Joe Dirt. If they own a copy of that movie, I distance myself from them.
But seriously... I'm very picky. There are lots of deal breakers. Smoking inside (I'm allergic to cigarette smoke. go outside). Being insane (I don't know how to quantify this concept any more specifically). Refusal to have kids (I don't have to have kids, but I wanna be with someone who at least would want to be a parent). People who try to weaponize my feelings for them is a quick way to make me no longer have those feelings.
But seriously... I'm very picky. There are lots of deal breakers. Smoking inside (I'm allergic to cigarette smoke. go outside). Being insane (I don't know how to quantify this concept any more specifically). Refusal to have kids (I don't have to have kids, but I wanna be with someone who at least would want to be a parent). People who try to weaponize my feelings for them is a quick way to make me no longer have those feelings.
Overly clingy.I don't care how perfect someone is I need some time alone/with my friends.I ended a relationship some years back for this very reason despite the fact that she was pretty much my ideal partner
Poor table manners, I can't find someone attractive if they're a sloppy eater. It's not hard, chew then speak, Chew with you mouth closed...
Other major deal breakers:
Not being able to think critically, so close minded or gulible people.
Stupidity... actually no, not stupidity so much as being uniterested in learning.
Poor general health, I don't mind overweightedness, underweightedness, smoking, drinking, drugs the list goes on but I do mind obesity, dangerously underweightedness, chain smoking, alcholism, and being druged up 24/7. Well unless you're working on fixing your problem then it's more of a minor issue.
Other more minor deal breakers are:
Clingy people; I'm very relaxed about contacting people, I work on the idea that no news is good news, no news for a week might not be good news but news updates every five minutes is a good reason to change the channel.
Not sharing my sence of humour, imagine not laughing with the one you loved, it'ld be a bit rubbish.
Getting your opinion from magazines would be pretty bad too.
Okay I'm kinda going off and sounding really picky. oh well, at least I'm not too vain. And I think most people would agree with most of what I've put.
Other major deal breakers:
Not being able to think critically, so close minded or gulible people.
Stupidity... actually no, not stupidity so much as being uniterested in learning.
Poor general health, I don't mind overweightedness, underweightedness, smoking, drinking, drugs the list goes on but I do mind obesity, dangerously underweightedness, chain smoking, alcholism, and being druged up 24/7. Well unless you're working on fixing your problem then it's more of a minor issue.
Other more minor deal breakers are:
Clingy people; I'm very relaxed about contacting people, I work on the idea that no news is good news, no news for a week might not be good news but news updates every five minutes is a good reason to change the channel.
Not sharing my sence of humour, imagine not laughing with the one you loved, it'ld be a bit rubbish.
Getting your opinion from magazines would be pretty bad too.
Okay I'm kinda going off and sounding really picky. oh well, at least I'm not too vain. And I think most people would agree with most of what I've put.
Carrying on about her ex. As soon as a girl brings up her ex in conversation (especially if it's comparative towards me) I start to lose interest. If you're not over your ex don't start looking for a new relationship. Automatic Friend-Zone ticket.
Yes, I know that sort of thing may go away with time, but I'm not willing to wait through a few months of "so-and-so used to do that." or "that was so-and-so's favorite."
Tried it, didn't like it, automatic deal-breaker from now on.
Yes, I know that sort of thing may go away with time, but I'm not willing to wait through a few months of "so-and-so used to do that." or "that was so-and-so's favorite."
Tried it, didn't like it, automatic deal-breaker from now on.
That's not a deal breaker...that's a sanity-shattering, spine breaker.tobi the good boy said:
---
Smoker seems really popular...so I'll go with vegan. If she flat out refuses to eat the foods I like and tries to convert me, I'd have to say no. I'd break up with her by taking her to McDonald's on that very special day, and tell her that my one true love is in my hands...
*[sub]I feel as though I have met that one special, perfect person: she is not a smoker or, a vegan and I love her much more than the McRib, who is a temptress and a tease. I love McRib but she isn't the one[/sub]