Recently, I was checking out an overgrown vault outside New Vegas. I was sent there to try to find some data for an NCR egghead scientist in Camp McCarran, something about renewable vegetation research. I read the sign on the way in, "Welcome to Vault 22!", but all I ran into was a couple of overgrown mantises, nothing a .308 down my long-barrel can't deal with.
I pushed past the foliage and through the door, intending to make my way further into the vault as quickly as possible. My haste was premature, however; and I realized this expedition would take longer than I had hoped as I took my first breath. The air was thick with a red mist, most likely spores from some long-dormant plant that my movements had distured, and required me donning a suit of NCR armor that protected my nose and mouth against inhaling this possible threat. Once finished I continued to survey my surroundings. The area looked like what appeared to be a hold-out area, with a makeshift mattress, some supplies in a duffel bag, and a working computer terminal. Someone named 'Keely' was here before me, probably another mercenary sent by the Doc. I wasn't sure if they were coming back, and didn't feel like waiting, but I figured if these supplies were still here on my way back out, I'd salvage what I could.
Down the stairs I went, down to what the signs indicated was the central oxygen recycling area of the vault. The floor squelched underfoot, the mossy overgrowth attempting to stick to my boots with each step. The air seemed a bit clearer, but I couldn't be sure if that was true or just wishful thinking, since I was already beginning to feel slightly claustrophobic. I was adjusting my facewrap when I glanced down at my Pipboy to check the radiation levels and saw a small orange mark, indicating something alive in my vicinity.
Quietly unstrapping my rifle, I hunkered down and crept forward, my eyes alternating between the corridor ahead and the orange mark. According to the scan, whatever was ahead of me was a bit ahead and just around a corner, just past a large dirt mound overgrown with vegetation. I slowly crawled to the mound, silently pushing my barrel through the leafy terrain as I edge around the corner. Another mantis, I pulled the rifle up and looked down the scope, bringing the big bug inline. That's the moment that something big and green suddenly appeared in the center my scope, screeching at me and flailing wildly at me, knocking my rifle harmlessly aside.
Caught by surprise, crouched down with a sniper rifle, being beaten on by some mutated green moss person-thing. Panic set in as I tried to regain my footing on the moss-covered knoll, the creature slashing huge lacerations in my armor as my Pipboy screamed at me. In desperation I managed to get a shot off as I scrambled onto my feet and back toward the staircase. I must've hit the thing because it let out a screeching wail that managed to drown out the raspy fluttering of the mantis's wings on it's way toward me. Struggling to remain standing on what until recently was a servicable leg, I stumbled my way back to the door, threw it open and toppled inside, the green monster and radiation-crazed bug safely locked on the other side.
Fuck scientists, I'm out of here. For good measure, I'll spraypaint a warning on the welcome sign out front.