What would you do if Jesus turned out to be real and came back?

[Kuroneko97]

I'd take a long look at him. Then I'd shake his hand and say "Well, I'll be damned. The Catholics were actually right for once. Nice to meet you."

 

[Son of a Mitch]

People would just think that he was a nutjob that THINKS he's Jesus. Seriously, if some guy on the street just walked up to you and said, "Hi, I'm Jesus." would you believe them? Probably not. He would just be chalked up with the rest of the people out there saying that they are Jesus, too.

 

[That_Sneaky_Camper]

People would just think that he was a nutjob that THINKS he's Jesus. Seriously, if some guy on the street just walked up to you and said, "Hi, I'm Jesus." would you believe them? Probably not. He would just be chalked up with the rest of the people out there saying that they are Jesus, too.

If Jesus came back according to how the Bible describes it then you will KNOW that it is the Biblical Jesus. Coming back in all his glory as God, the heavens shall open up and he shall speak out to the world in a loud voice and all shall hear him and see him and his countenance shall make every knee on Earth bow. That is how Revelation describes the coming again of Jesus, rather hard for some random guy on the street to prove he is Jesus in such a manner.

 

[mesoforte]

I wonder if I could get him near the grassy knoll.

With a sniper rifle.

That's how we deal with zombies.

You know.. Jesus was real. You don't have to believe that he was the son of God, but there is proof that he existed as a real person. You might want to change the title of this Thread- but if he came back then in my Christian belief: It's going to be the era of Revelations.

Now, if he came back just to be around instead.. you bet he'd prove he was Jesus through miracles and he'd have over millions of followers, plus more seeing the miracles for themselves.

Ehhh, perhaps. Historicity is never cut and dry. However it is dry to argue it.

 

[-Dragmire-]

Me: WTF took you so long Jesus?

*Jesus turns the other cheek*

Me:... douche.

Moral of the story: Jesus saves on Valve time.

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odd thought. For a carpenter, I wonder if Jesus would be afraid of wood planks now...

EDIT:

As an atheist, I would shit myself because I'd be going to Hell. I'd instantly convert to Christianity and be a good boy. Or do what I want and repent later. However the hell the rules work.

I was alright with my religion till grade 9 when I learned the definition of heaven and hell catholicism goes by.

Heaven: a state of blissful consciousness after the body returns to the soil(dies) that is fully aware of God's presence(and nothing else).

Hell: a state of consciousness after the body returns to the soil(dies) that is not aware of God's presence(or any presence, basically).

No cloud city made out of white marble and gold, no socialising of any kind and no "meaning of life" answer. And they tried to say this as if it were this amasing view, I've heard similar things from people describing their experiences with illegal drugs.

 

[chaosyoshimage]

Rebel against his father, since, I guess it would turn out that troll is real. Wait, does that make me a fallen angel in Lucifer's army?

 

[The Virgo]

I would ask him to have the Big Guy upstairs to finally give me a girlfriend. This being being single shit stopped being cool a long time ago. >:-(

 

[The Gray Train]

because God created man with free agency, or free will. he gives us guidelines about how we should behave and what the consequences are for following or not. ultimately though we decide how/if we follow those guidelines. this is what caused the big dust-up in the beginning: god wanted free agency and lucifer wanted micro-management, to lead humanity by the hand and force them to do god's will. god got pissed and smote lucy's ass from heaven.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Well I have little doubt that there once existed a dude by the name of Jesus Christ and he was no doubt a very spiritual man. It's the part about him being the son of God that I doubt. So in answer to your question, if some guy showed up claiming to be Jesus Christ I'd do the same thing I'd do if some guy showed up claiming to be Napoleon; recommend they lock him in the loony bin.

 

[Neverhoodian]

I'm just going to ignore all the flame-bait posts and address the topic seriously...

You do realize that it's generally accepted that Jesus did in fact exist (regardless of whether or not he actually had his Biblical stature and capabilities)?

If you went by contemporary accounts from the time, he would be a peaceful, humble man who would spend most of his time wandering between towns and visiting with the downtrodden of society. He kept clear of politics, so the extremist Christian right-wing fundamentalists would be disappointed. He also eschewed the pursuit of wealth, so he wouldn't be roped into endorsing products either.

 

[Riccan]

Get a hammer.

Congratulate him for existing and being one of the more boring religious/mythological figures?

 

[Torrasque]

I'd hand him a Bible and say 'Read this, I think you're going to be dissapointed.'

lol, I was looking for this answer.
I'd take him back to my house, pour him an ounce of Jameson 12 year, and watch all of Ghost in the Shell.
Then I'd ask him if he'd want to start converting people.
But since I'm sure Jesus would be an awesome guy, he'd be "nah, lets just go talk to Richard Dawkins" because Jesus would also be a hella troll.

 

[ajh93]

as an atheist?well i'd first need to see him perform a miracle,then prove that he's the Jesus of at least ONE of the 30,000 different sects of Christianity.THEN i'd also need proof god,heaven,and hell all exist (redundant i know,but just to cover all the bases).then,finally,after all of that,if i like what he has to say,i'll willingly follow him.if not,well,if there is a hell,i'd rather burn forever than follow a complete douchebag.

 

[Arina Love]

my thoughts : "oh great his mass murdering psychotic maniac father is around too i guess, oh well he can at least make me some wine"
but anyway it's not happening. coz magic and magical old man don't exist.

 

[lockeslylcrit]

if Jesus turned out to be real

Poor choice of words, bro. You should know by now that confirming or denying (even indirectly or accidentally through bad wording) can open up a whole can of worms on an internet forum as big as the Escapist from both sides of the whole religious argument.

 

[Delsana]

If Jesus came back as discussed it would be as Revelations put it, so essentially it'd be war in the sky with music and singing in the echoes... but BEFORE THAT we'd of course have the Great Tribulation which would pretty much show us that Satan is evil.

 

[lettucethesallad]

If Jesus came back and did the same kind of thing he allegedly did back in the day, he'd be a pretty neat magician and probably considered to be a bit of a quack when it comes to faith healing - like any other faith healer who claims to be able to cure people by laying hands on them. In this modern day and age, I doubt people would believe 'miracles' of that type would make him the son of god. Hell, if that were the case, we'd be worshiping every Las Vegas stage act.

 

[TehCookie]

I don't take kindly to zombies. Especially zombies that make more zombies through magic, that's harder to quarantine than the standard bites.

 

[Weslebear]

Not care perhaps? Wouldn't change shit in my life so meh.

 

[Alanj95]

I'd not really react to it, and tell all the rabid Christians that they don't have to believe in him anymore.