What would you do if Jesus turned out to be real and came back?

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gewata

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Mar 21, 2009
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Ummm....

This http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1584
or maybe a bit of this http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=1464
Maybe http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=519#comic
or http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1191#comic
Or even http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=211

Seriously though, whover said take him to the Westboro Baptist Church beat me to it, because what those guys preach is NOT what Jesus was about. I'm atheist, but I still think the lessons in the Bible are good ones (love your neighbour etc.).
 

Pontus Hashis

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Feb 22, 2010
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Let's go with the ridiculus premis of him being the son of god etc.... First of I would put on my Bad Religion T-shirt. Then I would ask him questions about why everything bad happens, and all injustices. If he refuses to answer/ says "God works in mysterius ways", I will nail him to a wall (He've had worse ;P) until he tells me a good answer/gives up. If it's good enough, I might become christian (execept that I would puke as soon I tried anything remotely conected to a church).
Otherwise (the most likely one), I would challange him to a fist fight to the death. Cus it would be metal =P And if "God" is so powerful, he would help him, right?
 
Mar 30, 2010
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What usually happens when someone wanders around claiming to be the son of God? 99 times out of 100 they're bundled into the nearest lunatic asylum and pumped so full of meds they can't move. Occasionally one might escape and form a band named after a Cold War spy plane, but that doesn't happen very often...
 

Gudrests

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Mar 29, 2010
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That_Sneaky_Camper said:
Son of a Mitch said:
People would just think that he was a nutjob that THINKS he's Jesus. Seriously, if some guy on the street just walked up to you and said, "Hi, I'm Jesus." would you believe them? Probably not. He would just be chalked up with the rest of the people out there saying that they are Jesus, too.
If Jesus came back according to how the Bible describes it then you will KNOW that it is the Biblical Jesus. Coming back in all his glory as God, the heavens shall open up and he shall speak out to the world in a loud voice and all shall hear him and see him and his countenance shall make every knee on Earth bow. That is how Revelation describes the coming again of Jesus, rather hard for some random guy on the street to prove he is Jesus in such a manner.
I played basketball with jesus once....Did you know Jesus was a mexican....He didn't show up like that at all though. Just rode up on his bike.......Am I going to hell if I swagged on Jesus?
 

LuckyClover95

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Jun 7, 2010
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Well with me I believe in him anyway, so it's not really turn out to be real. Anyway, I'd be happy. Maybe he'd be able to stop these wars and encourage more altruism.
 

SyphonX

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Mar 22, 2009
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I'd ask him why his father is such a jealous, rage-fueled violent psychopath. Then I'd go about my day. I tend to avoid the crazies, "God" included. I am the company that I keep, et cetera.
 

Da Orky Man

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Apr 24, 2011
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Well, if I could actually talk to him, I'd hand him a modern-day bible. I'm guessing he'd be disappointed by how much it changed.
I would also ask him about the early civilisations, and whether to marvel at god or marvel at the universe itself. And a lot more stuff that I don't have time to post.
 

hbomb

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Dec 3, 2007
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Caramel Frappe said:
.. *Sigh* This is why we shouldn't have Threads like these. Reading the posts.. and I see things like:

- I would kill Jesus
- He never existed
- Jesus coming back would ruin the World
- (Jesus jokes, not friendly ones ether)

Because it's a religious topic, people aren't going to be happy with this period. I mean, everyone has a right of opinions and saying but.. some posts disturb me. I'm Christian, yet I don't go to other Threads and flat out tell people's idols that I wish to kill him/her, or that he/she is a disgrace (Like if someone felt compassion for Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr.) Some people don't even believe in the Holocaust and you ALL know that happened, so why tell us Jesus didn't happen ether..?
Are you really playing the Hitler card? There is legitimate evidence against the existence of a Jesus figure (or rather, a lack of evidence that proved he ever DID exist).

On top of that, I feel I would legitimately try to kill Jesus if he 'returned' to Earth. For reasons justified both by your faith and my own.

Moral authority is a terrible thing - I refuse to believe in a Universe where I can sit around all day posting on The Escapist while hundreds of innocent children die every single day, some of them from the most disastrously painful and horrifying of bone cancers, that there is such a thing as a just and loving God. It's just plain wrong, if not morally reprehensible.

You compared Jesus to Martin Luther King: You complete monster. There's a massive, MASSIVE difference between someone who campaigned for the rights of every human being and the herald of the most evil regime to ever arrive on this Earth. Before Jesus, if the People of God killed you, kept your wife and daughter for themselves, and murdered all your sons and took your cattle, you were dead and that was the end. After Jesus, you then had infinite damnnation to wait for. Infinite damnnation for finite crimes, one of which is simply not believing he exists even in the face of evidence that he doesn't and even if you're a good person anyway. Does that seem moral? No. I would feel OBLIGED to take up arms against such a monster if they arrived on this earth, the same way we all would if Hitler rose from the grave. Ironically, Hitler was a Christian.
 

Monsterfurby

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Mar 7, 2008
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Well, Jesus of Nazareth WAS real. Unfortunately, someone thought that the philosopher needed more fantasy and magic attached to him, which resulted in the character "Jesus Christ".

I still think that as a philosopher, he brought up some good points about human nature and the oppressive nature of organized religion of his day (ironic, ain't it?) - but all the fantasy stuff doesn't become him.

If all of it turned out to be real, of course, I would be equally excited as if, say, Super Mario appeared at my doorstep or Batman turned out to be the real thing. The normal fantasy-becoming-reality awesomeness, I guess.
 

kalaim

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Feb 12, 2008
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Jesus is not coming back :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mtPZPjEAC0

Thank you Bill (R.I.P)
 

newfoundsky

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Feb 9, 2010
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I would ask him for evidence of the existence of his Dad. I would then make a bunch of jokes about his mom. "Yo Virgin Momma so fat, it took God TWO days to find the right hole! He then rested."