What would you do if Jesus turned out to be real and came back?

[Johnny-Natrium]

The same as any other Christian would do- fight VERY hard from telling every smug Atheist "Ha! Told you so!"

Atheists beat you to that, though.. When any person in the world died, the subsequent nothingness can be accepted as an "I told you so" from every atheist in the world.

 

[zehydra]

The same as any other Christian would do- fight VERY hard from telling every smug Atheist "Ha! Told you so!"

Atheists beat you to that, though.. When any person in the world died, the subsequent nothingness can be accepted as an "I told you so" from every atheist in the world.

lol, except nothingness is incoherent, so it couldn't.

 

[Master_of_Oldskool]

Jesus is real. There's historical evidence of his existence outside of the Bible. His burial site is a popular tourist destination in Jerusalem. Whether he was the Messiah or just some dude with a good point to make on how we should treat each other is a matter of personal opinion, but you can't claim the man himself didn't exist.

OT: Throw up my hands, admit defeat, and point out that in any event I was always good to my fellow man.

Also:

Before Jesus, if the People of God killed you, kept your wife and daughter for themselves, and murdered all your sons and took your cattle, you were dead and that was the end. After Jesus, you then had infinite damnnation to wait for.

... Seth MacFarlane? Is that you?

Seriously, sir, are you trying to imply that the concept of Hell didn't exist before Jesus? Because I've gotta tell you, the idea of being punished eternally in the afterlife for spending your life as an asshole has been around in some form or another since the ancient Egyptians at the very latest.

Also, how would being murdered by Christian extremists automatically condemn one to Hell? What twisted translation of the Bible are you reading?

 

[Skulltaker101]

Attempt to assassinate him. If he's all-forgiving then I have unlimited goes. I want to see if the Romans were just incompetent.

 

[Calbeck]

Oh hey, Jesus, 'sup.

 

[Telba]

If this nonsense turns out to be real, I will look into potentially utilising angels as clean energy source in order to benefit Humanity.

 

[Johnny-Natrium]

He turns water into damn good wine, and started overturning tables and running people off when they were trading in a part of a temple. Sounds like my kind of guy.

I'd love to see him trash these so called houses of worship now a days with these bigoted preachers and doing what they can to make money out of its religious followers.

I'd record when he visited Westboro Baptist Church and put that shit on YouTube.

Easily the best video ever. Then we'd high five and bro fist everyone with a different religion, sexual orientation, gender, and race. Winning with Jesus

I thought there was a limit to how much of a hippy you could sound like..

 

[Simeon Ivanov]

I'd ask him if what the Bible says is true, and if I really need to go to church to go to heaven ... also, I'd ask him for a hot girlfriend gamer ... with boobs ...

... I'm a horrible, horrible person ...

 

[Johnny-Natrium]

The same as any other Christian would do- fight VERY hard from telling every smug Atheist "Ha! Told you so!"

Atheists beat you to that, though.. When any person in the world died, the subsequent nothingness can be accepted as an "I told you so" from every atheist in the world.

lol, except nothingness is incoherent, so it couldn't.

Obviously, but it's hardly less plausible than the Christians getting to say "I told you so" when this nonsense were to actually occur, so I thought I could let it slide, lol.

(Edit on the implausible > plausible..)

 

[Calbeck]

Moral authority is a terrible thing - I refuse to believe in a Universe where I can sit around all day posting on The Escapist while hundreds of innocent children die every single day, some of them from the most disastrously painful and horrifying of bone cancers, that there is such a thing as a just and loving God. It's just plain wrong, if not morally reprehensible.

*facepalms*

Oh, not this tired old saw.

What you want is a universe in which God and/or Jesus remove all suffering, regardless of what kind it is. Bone cancer or a traffic accident, doesn't matter.

Not for one moment do you bother to actually think about what kind of world that would have to be.

Free will? Belief in God would be replaced instantly by knowledge that He's watching everything you do. Who needs cameras in your bedroom; GOD IS WATCHING YOU SCREW. Unless, of course, you're free to disbelieve in Him. Or at least to believe that His attention isn't on you 24/7. Oh, but that means if He's NOT watching everyone, 24/7, little innocent children will die painful deaths every day because of accidents.

So I guess your rights to privacy and free will mean kids are gonna die.

Bone cancer? Yeah, let's just eliminate all nasty diseases OH WAIT THEY'RE PART OF THE ECOSYSTEM. The ecosystem which allows for evolution, so that species around the world can continue to develop and not stagnate into a mass die-off. Bone cancer's an example of biology developing to take advantage of a niche...but if it's inconvenient to humanity, God should just stomp it out, right?

Please. You don't want a Loving Father --- you want the Ultimate Nanny State.

 

[Jonluw]

I suppose I would finally become a theist then.
Then I'd ask him to end suffering now, please.

 

[beeejay]

Id expect him to do a lot of explaining.

 

[shadow_Fox81]

i'd ask him how he thinks his faith did the past two thousand years. then walk off unimpressed with his poor timing.

 

[Woodsey]

I would go ahead and break my biggest ever rule - I would go out and get a tattoo. But it wouldn't just be any old tattoo, it would have to be this one, straight on my butt... (free Internetz for anyone who knows the film I'm referencing here)

Spoiler: Butt Tattoo

Then I'd probably buy him a drink. Water, of course, it's cheaper and it's not as if he couldn't turn it into wine or beer or whatever the hell he feels like drinking...

... Johnny English?

- I would kill Jesus
- He never existed
- Jesus coming back would ruin the World
- (Jesus jokes, not friendly ones ether)

- Silly answer
- Well... that is debatable, so I'm not really sure what you find offensive about it, its difficult to count the Bible as evidence for anything
- Possible. You have no idea what effect it would have on people, particularly those of a different faith. You think 5 billion other people on the planet are going to be perfectly happy that their lifetime faith has been a big waste of time? And what about people struck by disasters who have just learned there is a god who did fuck all for them?
- Jokes don't need to be "friendly"

 

[Aprilgold]

Well, I'd smack him for not doing it sooner and not saving the FUCKING earth from nazis and terrorists. Then ask him to slap me for being a twat. Then that would be it.

 

[funguy2121]

I'm watching the episode of Family Guy where Peter discovers Jesus and it got me wondering- what would that actually be like?

It would be like this.


"Hey, lady on the toilet..."

 

[Alade]

I would immediately have to assume that I am the Anti-christ, otherwise, nothing would make any sense whatsoever.

 

[hellsdinner]

simple...
HIGH FIVEEEEEE!!!

 

[Titan Buttons]

We would problbly think he was crazy and have him locked up in a mental institute

 

[ThunderCavalier]

I'd have a few choice words, namely.

1) "On behalf of the human race, I apologize that we're all fuck ups."

2) "Can you please cure cancer, diabetes, and possibly any other ailment out there?"

3) "Can you please tell 343i to make Halo 4 not suck?"