Mine would have to be the long rant I have just prepared. And funnily enough, my name as a final boss would have to be Mr. Projection.
"Hey, you, with the camera for a head. Yeah, thats right, you, eating your cheetos, lonely, with no girlfriend, muscles or tan. No job or car, yeah you buddy, YOU. Yeah, you'll probably defeat me in about 10 minutes, but you know what, I'm just a computer program, some ones and zeros, thats right, just ones and zeros. Nothing important, oh sure, you'll get an achievment for this no doubt, but you sure as hell won't have accomplished anything, you're just going to sit there, play your games, live your life without even living, without ever loving, without ever having a life. And yeah, I'm totally trying to demoralize you, I'm trying to get you to quit. But you know what, I have a point don't I, that you are just a lonely person, that gaming isn't an escape from reality, because you don't have a reality worth escaping from. Yeah, thats right, oh no, don't go reaching for that super weapon, it doesn't work. It's kind of like your genitials, nobody has ever touched it before, thats right, nobody loves you, nobody ever will, not if you keep trying to kill a few ones and zero's anyway. Go outside, do something productive, get a girl, a job, a car, a life. Thats right man, you need a life. Not an extra life like the one you just threw away trying to deactivate those shields, but a real life. Man, c'mon, you can do better than that, oh wait, no you can't, your just a pathetic pile of angst, thats right, angst, it hurts to be so trivialized doesn't it. Yeah, being a cliche sucks am I right? Well you suck too buddy, you suck so much nobody will ever love you.
Except those cheetos, thats right, enjoy those cheetos, thats all you've got. Oh, I see, now your going to hit the mute button and finish the fight that way, well TOO BAD!!! Cause I've got subtitles now. So enjoy your pathetic attempts at trying to kill something that doesn't really exist, kind of like your life, thats right. You're nothing. And yeah, this rant took forever to script, but the writer went home to his wife, and the voice actor went home to his wife, and you went home to your (long pause) hand. Cause thats all you have.
Whoa, whoa man, no need to pick up that rocket launcher, no need to be pointing that thing at me like that, somebody could get hurt. I mean, uhhhh, I know I'm just ones and zeros, but didn't I demoralize you enough, c'mon, just set the controller down and go outside, maybe even talk to a girl or something. Crazy right? What, no no no, don't shoot that thing at me. Oh come on, I never did you any harm did I? I'm not the reason that you're a lonely failure am I? I'm no---"
They should have put that rant into the final boss battle in Portal.
