what would you make Earth's official language?

[Bruenin]

Chopnese. CHOP CHOP CHOP!

PEWDIEPIE!

*brofist*

English, cause I know English

[edit] wasn't implying you were pewdiepie , just that's where it came from.

 

[Abedeus]

English. Easiest to learn.

 

[itsausernamewhatofit]

English for the reason that it is the only one that I feel comfortable with. Not American English though, even as an American I have issues with the way my country (and to a lesser extent myself) speaks.

 

[ExileNZ]

Esperanto was a nice idea, but if I remember right it was designed by a Finn and losely based on Finnish, a language with about 15 fricatives. I'm not sure English even has 5, and some languages don't have any. In terms of pronunciation it's not brilliant for everyone to learn.

Zamenhof was Polish, not Finnish. And Esperanto has eight fricatives and very standardized pronunciation overall.

Thank you for the correction - my learning of said information dates back 10 years to university.
God damn does that make me feel old...

 

[Daedalus007]

English - under the condition that all bastard American spellings are abolished.
I'm looking at you, -our, -re, -ce, -ogue, and -ise words. Don't be pushed around like that!

 

[Sean951]

The dative case is the most fucking useless abomination in spoken language.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! None of my friends believed me when I told them it existed, but I knew... Somewhere out there in the world, people were learning this crap. I took 5 years of German and still couldn't tell you when the hell I was supposed to use Dative.

OT: Something with a phonetic alphabet, so nothing from East Asia. I would also prefer something where I'm not memorizing how to conjugate verbs for different genders, and keeping 1 word for "the." English is the only one that I know of that fits these rules, though the grammar could probably do with some updating and revisions to spelling so that read and read aren't the same damn word.

 

[Deadyawn]

English because I'm a lazy bastard who doesn't want to learn a new langauge.

 

[Kae]

Well English is one of the simplest languages and it's very easy to learn, and it's damn near required nowadays, so that's probably going to be it, but if I had to choose I'd go with either French or Spanish, if anything just to be the sexiest sounding species in all space, because those are the sexiest sounding languages, smooth and classy, well in my opinion at least.

 

[CityofTreez]

Logical answer: English. Many speakers, already nearly official for international business, you all know the reasons.

Preference: Arabic or French. I enjoy the sound of both. Bonus points for making all the "'Mericans" really pissed off at learning the language of their most hated cultures.

Americans hate the French?

 

[OtherSideofSky]

Well, speaking as a linguist and a translator, that would be bad for my future job prospects. Clearly the correct choice, from the perspective of self-interest, would be to kill the space wizard before he can pick one.

 

[thiosk]

Broken english is already the de facto world language. Russians can meet filipinos in california and communicate in broken english, and successfully order tacos from a mexican speaking broken english. Then, when something bad happens, all three of them can hire gloria allred to represent them and she can understand them and sue people in english.

But we should change its name to gothic. Low gothic is broken english, and High Gothic is regular english!

 

[Phisi]

I think English. We got enough tenses that should we encounter an alien language we will have the upper hand

 

[Evonisia]

Cockny of course, (yes, it's its own language).

I knew I wasn't alone when I said that it wasn't English

We all need to use Alienese. It's the only way.

EDIT: The necro is real, but it involves reviving dead languages, so woot!