shrekfan246 said:
Kyrian007 said:
I've started to wonder if there is any real difference.
Having considered it over the past few months, I'm left questioning what any actual differences are there aside from societal constructs too.
Like, when I really think about it,
really think, I don't know how I would explain or describe "being male". Even beyond the fact that however it applies to me is not how it applies to anyone else, I can't think of any particular time where I "feel" like I'm
defined by my maleness. It's how society identifies me due to my physical characteristics and I don't object to that, but otherwise there is nothing that makes me think "Yeah, I'm a man."
Now, obviously I'm also free to think that way because, as a man, there are far less societal pressures on me demanding that I conform to some sort of standard uniform with my gender. I can't speak for what a woman's perspective on this would be, or even a trans man's or non-binary person's perspective.
Additionally, there's the loaded conception of "masculinity" and "femininity", which is somehow supposed to define men and women. I don't like many things which are typically coded as "masculine"; does that make me "less" of a man? And that's not even approaching the fact that things coded as "feminine" are almost always viewed as
negative in the societal whole. That's why so much of the language used for degrading men is based in equating them with women, or in diminishing their "masculinity".
That comes with what you let others do to you.
In environment I grew up in from a male it was expected to:
* don't show emotions, nobody cares
* don't ever cry - suffer through any form of pain silently/proudly
* don't complain about and cope with the issue you can't solve on your own
* take responsibility for your actions
* always be ready to back up your words with your actions
* don't lie, keep your word
* don't steal
* don't run away from a confrontation
* be attractive to women (groom yourself, stay in shape etc.)
* don't hurt, insult or yell at women (unconditional - so being insulted, yelled at or hurt ment you can not respond, thus showing 'superiority' as dumb as it is)
* be self sufficient (i.e. don't expect any help)
* be able to provide to a family and if need be support it on your own
* have interest in sports (various sports)
* be capable of agressively, physically defend yourself and others
* be able to fix/maintain house appliances
* die/sacrifice your life for your country/family
* obey stronger/more capable people or take the lead
+ tons of minor annoying BS, like aforementioned prefering blue to pink, keeping your hair short etc.
* don't lose your honour, you can lose your honour only once <-- this one is separate, because failing to meet most of the above ment being shamed by others and loss of honour.
Over time I rejected most of these or applied them to all people regardless of their sex. Some I keep following. I selectively pass few of them on my son, since I'd rather make sure he has been prepped by me, than strangers. Toughen him up so to speak :/
Point is you are who you are, an individual. If other see you fit to do things you don't approve of. F-em. If others expect from you things which you find unreasonable. F-em.
Be an egoist first. If you want to, ask yourself what can you do to please others. If what you came up with is fine by you, do it. Do it, because you thought that through and want to do that not because you are expected to. Even if these things will overlap.
From outside people can't tell the difference anyway.