First off, I don't want to make this thread about me, but I feel I should give context to my viewpoint by explaining two things about me...
Anyway, I don't really understand what the point of being in a relationship is, at least at my stage in life (21-year-old college student). I love that feeling, when everything you're supposed to do is done, and you have a whole day to spend on yourself, doing whatever you want. I tend to begrudge anything or anyone that tries to take it away from me. And I especially resent it when people feel entitled to my free time. Of the few relationships I've started, they inevitably end because the girl wants to waste an entire day "just hanging out", and either I refuse and she gets pissed off, or I relent and end up thinking of her as a chore. Are all relationships like that? Am I just being uncompromising?
A lot of my friends are starting to get girlfriends/boyfriends, and when I ask them why, they say things such as "for the sex" or "it's like having a friend you can screw" or "it's so nice to have someone to cuddle and get affection from" or "someone to pick you up when you're feeling down" (here's a fun game: guess the genders of the speakers!). But I don't really feel the need for any of that. And I have a suspicion that's the key word: need. I have a theory that all relationships (romantic or otherwise) are formed on the basis of mutual need. And, being content on my own, I don't really feel the need for a girlfriend. But maybe that's just me rationalising my own failure to commit (as a pop psych women's mag dating columnist might say).
What do you think? What's the point of being in a relationship? What do you gain out of it (or hope to gain out of it, if you're not in one)? And what do you lose out of it? Is it worth it?
Firstly, I'm quite reclusive. It's previously been the source of much embarrassment and self-loathing because almost everyone puts pressure on me to "come out of my shell" (especially in Ireland, where being reclusive is so unheard-of people treat it like being a heroin addict or something), but in the last few years I've come to the realisation (after trying to force myself to be more sociable and failing on many occasions), that being reclusive is an integral part of who I am. In fact, I've decided to be proud of the fact that I'm secure in myself enough to enjoy my own company, and I think it's kind of pitiable when people need to spend every waking moment with another person because they're too dull or afraid to be alone with themselves (to be clear: I don't mean people who socialise are pitiable, I mean people who have no hobbies, or even a proper personal life outside of hanging with their friends and partying all the time. I've known people like that. They think they're "living life to the fullest" and that I should be more like them. But when they're on their own, they complain about how bored they are and beg people to hang out with them. That's what I find pitiable.)
Secondly, contrary to what you might be thinking, girls often come on to me. I went through a bit of an ugly phase in secondary school, so I know what it's like to be invisible to women. But it built character, and now the compensatory charm and humility that came with being unattractive works to magnify my current handsomeness. Plus there's about a dozen other ways in which I'm awesome (my sense of modesty still needs work though). It's funny how much nicer women are to me now that I'm one of the hot guys, though. They're just as bad as men when it comes to thinking with their reproductive organs, really.
Secondly, contrary to what you might be thinking, girls often come on to me. I went through a bit of an ugly phase in secondary school, so I know what it's like to be invisible to women. But it built character, and now the compensatory charm and humility that came with being unattractive works to magnify my current handsomeness. Plus there's about a dozen other ways in which I'm awesome (my sense of modesty still needs work though). It's funny how much nicer women are to me now that I'm one of the hot guys, though. They're just as bad as men when it comes to thinking with their reproductive organs, really.
Anyway, I don't really understand what the point of being in a relationship is, at least at my stage in life (21-year-old college student). I love that feeling, when everything you're supposed to do is done, and you have a whole day to spend on yourself, doing whatever you want. I tend to begrudge anything or anyone that tries to take it away from me. And I especially resent it when people feel entitled to my free time. Of the few relationships I've started, they inevitably end because the girl wants to waste an entire day "just hanging out", and either I refuse and she gets pissed off, or I relent and end up thinking of her as a chore. Are all relationships like that? Am I just being uncompromising?
A lot of my friends are starting to get girlfriends/boyfriends, and when I ask them why, they say things such as "for the sex" or "it's like having a friend you can screw" or "it's so nice to have someone to cuddle and get affection from" or "someone to pick you up when you're feeling down" (here's a fun game: guess the genders of the speakers!). But I don't really feel the need for any of that. And I have a suspicion that's the key word: need. I have a theory that all relationships (romantic or otherwise) are formed on the basis of mutual need. And, being content on my own, I don't really feel the need for a girlfriend. But maybe that's just me rationalising my own failure to commit (as a pop psych women's mag dating columnist might say).
What do you think? What's the point of being in a relationship? What do you gain out of it (or hope to gain out of it, if you're not in one)? And what do you lose out of it? Is it worth it?
