What's there to be ashamed of for living with your folks still?

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

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I just read the part about how abused kids should call hotlines and seek help and stuff. That's fine, but when people display attitudes like yours, that parents can set rules and people who don't like rules are disrespectful and ungrateful, it is hard to recognise abuse. They think they are being brats, and constantly have that reinforced by society. You are also reinforcing that by picking and choosing what counts as abuse.

It is not hard to recognize abuse. Setting rules, having curfews, property owners knowing what is in their homes, that is not abuse.
This may help you:

Child abuse is when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failing to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm or risk of serious harm to a child. There are many forms of child maltreatment, including neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, exploitation, and emotional abuse.

https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/

I am not "picking and choosing", it is well defined.However, that IS exactly what the law and society does to define child abuse. We even have checklists for this as well:

http://www.ohsu.edu/xd/health/services/doernbecher/research-education/education/residency/upload/child-abuse-checklist-2.pdf

Having rules is not child abuse. Parents not willing to change rules because the child wants them to is not child abuse.

 

[Magmarock]

I'm not going to go into details about my living arrangement but I'll just that I didn't move out until very late. The reason being. There simply weren't any houses available. Not every can afford to move out and there are not always houses available to others as well.

 

[someonehairy-ish]

Welp, I'm currently in my early twenties and I've got my own little flat with a housemate that I pay for out of my meagre barely-more-than-minimum wage. Meanwhile, Dad has a 4 bedroom house to himself that he's pretty much paid off.

Starting to wonder why I work 40+ hrs per week in a shite job only to see most of it go down the drain on my flat, when I could work far fewer hours living at Dad's and still have way more money left over at the end of the month. That way I'd have time to work on a part time degree or something else a bit more fulfilling...

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

Welp, I'm currently in my early twenties and I've got my own little flat with a housemate that I pay for out of my meagre barely-more-than-minimum wage. Meanwhile, Dad has a 4 bedroom house to himself that he's pretty much paid off.

Starting to wonder why I work 40+ hrs per week in a shite job only to see most of it go down the drain on my flat, when I could work far fewer hours living at Dad's and still have way more money left over at the end of the month. That way I'd have time to work on a part time degree or something else a bit more fulfilling...

Just gonna say, I moved back in with my parents when I was 22 to do a degree. Was a good decision. Admittedly there was a downside, but in the long run I don't think there's much point sabotaging your prospects for the sake of pride or a slight hit on your freedom/independence. Bite the bullet for a couple of years and you can come out way ahead of where you would have been otherwise.

 

[Treeberry]

Welp, I'm currently in my early twenties and I've got my own little flat with a housemate that I pay for out of my meagre barely-more-than-minimum wage. Meanwhile, Dad has a 4 bedroom house to himself that he's pretty much paid off.

Starting to wonder why I work 40+ hrs per week in a shite job only to see most of it go down the drain on my flat, when I could work far fewer hours living at Dad's and still have way more money left over at the end of the month. That way I'd have time to work on a part time degree or something else a bit more fulfilling...

Same. May be moving back in with my parents. Once bills/tax/rent/food etc. are paid for I can't really save up for anything nor can I hold something back in case of emergencies. Thanks to the economy going down the crapper not too long ago (people like to forget about this I've noticed) getting an unfulfilling long-term job took longer than it should have. And even then, the pay isn't great.

It all depends on what you want from life I suppose - and what you can get. If you want to travel, you might not necessarily be able to afford running a house/apartment and actual life experiences. If you have a significant other and decide to live together then obviously you'll have more money

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

Interesting to see how many people are declaring you to be a mooch who doesnt want to be a grown up or whatever. But I live with my parents and though I mentioned some stuff earlier, I have to add that I work. I work in a family business with my parents, and sometimes during the hard times I dont get paid, which is fine because we are trying to get a business up off the ground for me to inherit one day and that kind of thing takes sacrifice. Not to mention I pay rent and food when I am getting paid and work usually at least a dozen extra unclaimed hours. Without me my parents would have lost their house, been forced to move somewhere cheaper and who knows what Dad would have done with all his tools we store in our sub ground level garage. But if I spend a little bit of my money on something for myself apparently im labelled a mooch by people who dont have acess to my bank account and dont really know a thing about me. Maybe I lay buyed that smart phone, or didnt waste all my money on fast food so that I could afford to take a little holiday. But people are just going to label me lazy because of arbitrary bullshit.

Dont pretend like you know anything about the financial details of a persons life because you happen to be friends with them on facebook or something.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

Interesting to see how many people are declaring you to be a mooch who doesnt want to be a grown up or whatever. But I live with my parents and though I mentioned some stuff earlier, I have to add that I work. I work in a family business with my parents, and sometimes during the hard times I dont get paid, which is fine because we are trying to get a business up off the ground for me to inherit one day and that kind of thing takes sacrifice. Not to mention I pay rent and food when I am getting paid and work usually at least a dozen extra unclaimed hours. Without me my parents would have lost their house, been forced to move somewhere cheaper and who knows what Dad would have done with all his tools we store in our sub ground level garage. But if I spend a little bit of my money on something for myself apparently im labelled a mooch by people who dont have acess to my bank account and dont really know a thing about me. Maybe I lay buyed that smart phone, or didnt waste all my money on fast food so that I could afford to take a little holiday. But people are just going to label me lazy because of arbitrary bullshit.

Dont pretend like you know anything about the financial details of a persons life because you happen to be friends with them on facebook or something.

I wasn't aware that someone helping their parents was a mooch.

mooch
mo͞oCH/
1. ask for or obtain (something) without paying for it.
2.loiter in a bored or listless manner.
3.a beggar or scrounger.

If one is helping their parents and caring for their parents and not living off of their parents, they would not be a mooch.

My friend Chris was a mooch.. Never worked, never helped with Bills, rarely helped with chores, partied all the time, not telling his mom where he was when he was going to be back, got his mom arrested by bringing drugs into her house..
He never paid for anything around the house while he lived there. She finally threw him out after she went to jail for him.

 

[JasmineJasmine]

I don't think it has quite sunk in yet, that so many young adults are unemployed, ie; not receiving a wage, that there's a wee bit of a problem with government spending cuts, and many parents cannot actually afford to 'sub' their children to the tune of rent +living expenses etc, and redundancies are occurring at all levels and all ages. This is almost like telling someone their underskirt is showing. Barbara, you're coming from a very comfortably off, parents who are rock solid certain of their own jobs, middle class pov here.

 

[s0denone]

I want to reply more in this thread, particularly and obviously in response to the overwhelmingly negative replies to my opinion, but given I cannot write without being warned and recieving frivolous warning points as a result, there is no point. Cheerio.

 

[Fappy]

Man, all I know is that despite having a higher paying job when I moved out, I have a lot less money to play with. Rent + car payments + food + spontaneous/emergency expenses doesn't leave much left at the end of the month.

That said, it's certainly worth it to have your own space.

 

[UsefulPlayer 1]

I live with my family. Nothing to do with laziness, it is just the smart move right now. I am early twenties (just graduated) and got hired at a place that happens to be 20 mins from my house. I am very well within my means to move out, considering my company hired a bunch of kids just like me and they had to move out to work here, but why would I move out?

I actually live closer to work than many of the other new hires, and my gf is pretty close by as well (she went to the same high school so she is local).

I should be able to pay off student loans in a couple months (less than a year after graduating) and was thinking of saving up to move out after that.

But somehow I'm still a loser cause I live at home.