When it comes to dating how young is too young ?

[MassiveGeek]

Having a boyfriend or girlfriend when you're 12 is not supposed to be some sort of heavy, serious investment - because you can't really comprehend the meaning and consequence of committing yourself to someone else like that until you're, well, at least 15-16 years old.
I see no problem with two kiddies being "together" and holding hands/kissing on the cheek - but that's about all there, in my opinion, should be to it. Because they have no business having sex, or making out in hallways or dressing... inapropriately. They're not mature enough to really take a stance like that, sure they can do it, but frankly, they don't understand the meaning of it. So they should wait until they can truly make the decision whole-hearted, or at least so that they do understand the potential consequences.

Because from my personal experience, sharing a kiss with someone, or holding their hand didn't have any sort of impact on me until I could really appreciate it for what it means.
And that took a while. I still have more of the road ahead, I'm only 17.

 

[Woodsey]

Yes, I can't imagine any of those people are full of shit, and I especially can't imagine you've taken any overheard conversations out of context.

But, to give you a straight answer: so? Maybe it's just a particularly rough year group, assuming you're correct in everything you've said, or maybe you've just overheard a minority?

Well it depends on the person really. Though as a general (yet not entirely fair, due to the differing maturations of individuals) rule, I'd put 15 as a minimum and 17-20 as the recommended, as at least that way you've had time to get your head on straight with all your tenage hormones while still allowing time for actual certainty in feelings with the early bloomers.

EDIT:

Until around 20 you won't even know what love is.

Doesn't mean you shouldn't be allowed to develop critical social skills (opposite sex interaction is crucial).

But think about it. Opposite sex interaction is only crucial because the early blooming of the generation means that if you wait you're awkward and they're not. If everyone waited until they were 18 or so, that rproblem would either be minimised or removed altogether (seeing as having non-romantic relationships with members of the opposite sex during the early years would mean friendships would be easier to establish without having to think about sex or romance as the imminent future of an opposite-sex relationship).

You're talking about it as if you can easily put a limit on who you want to get it on with, when you want to get it on with them and how far getting it on with them actually goes.

 

[Biosophilogical]

-snip-
You're talking about it as if you can easily put a limit on who you want to get it on with, when you want to get it on with them and how far getting it on with them actually goes.

Well, yes-ish. The OP is right, I've heard sex-talk from younger and younger grades as I've gone into higher ones, and it is ridiculous (and I went to a private school, so I'd imagine it isn't as bad as public schools). So the very fact that people are becoming sexual at a younger age, and the fact that they used to be sexual at later stages instead would suggest that there are some influencing factors ont hese types of things. So if you could identify the factors (and assuming they can be altered) you could increase the average age of first-time romantic/sexual interactions (not necessarily feelings, but the interactions those feelings cause at the very least).

 

[xdom125x]

I'd say the age where it is okay to date is approx. 15-16. And I don't see many people making out seeing as how I go to an all boys school.

 

[The Wykydtron]

Meh whatevs they can do what they want i suppose, why should i care if they end up in a complete downward spiral of a relationship?

 

[Sinclair Solutions]

High school is the minimum I hold for people.

 

[demoman_chaos]

So, like I said, you're treating her like property. She is to do as the man of the house says or else. And it wouldn't ruin her life. One of three things could happen: Abortion, adoption or having a guy pay her money for the rest of her life for a momentary lapse of judgement.

I can tell you haven't read my later posts that better explain the situation. I'll admit that my choice of words weren't the best, but I can see you haven't seen what teen pregnancy can do to people.
1-Abortion costs money, money they don't have. They can barely afford to pay all their bills let alone pay for some doctor to make a murder out of something not yet born.
2-Adoption, again costs quite a lot of money assuming you can find an orphanage. They aren't very common in these parts, which means they will be more expensive than usual. That is assuming she can give away something that was inside her for 9 months. Giving away your child is not an easy thing to do, needless to say.
3-Child support doesn't go for the rest of the woman's life, it goes to the kid is 18 (or out of college). Even then, the fellow is very unlikely to pay. They don't pay if they don't have a job that pays in checks. If the job pays cash under the table, the mother gets nothing. But that would mean she has to raise a child by herself while she is still in school, which is not going to work. She would almost certainly drop out and her life would be more fucked than it would be otherwise.

Having a kid you are not 100% prepared for will ruin you, mentally, financially, and physically. Having a kid could kill her (when she had her kidney transplant, they had to place the kidney in the middle, she was born with 2 bad kindeys and got her 1 working one when she was 3 from a 20 year old, space was an issue).
You have an understandable ignorance of the whole situation. Before you make a judgement of someone, know the details. I am not a ignorant hillbilly who loves violence and wants to control his sister. I do what I must to keep her from making the same mistakes my 2 brother's made. I failed my little brother (he had a kid with a girl who is still in High school, he is only a year older than her), but I will not fail my little sister too. I will not let her be like the stupid whore that got my brother into his situation.

 

[badgersprite]

I have seen ( note I am talking about the 6th graders here ) them making out in the hallway, have heard them talk about having had had sex the previous night, and how they were going to dump their current boy/girlfriend to go out with someone else. I'm starting to wonder what exactly caused all this. There was NOTHING like this when I was their age. I am just dumbstruck by this....

For conversation purposes : How young do you think is too young to start dating? And if things are like this were you live?

WHAT? I...WHAT?! D:

I really hope they're lying and just saying it because they think it makes them look cool. I know kids here who bullshit like that when it's not true.

Honestly, I'm really appalled by this. My first relationship was at fifteen and I think THAT was too young. I didn't even experience any kind of sexual attraction until thirteen. Having sex at freaking eleven is probably going to scar these kids psychologically, if this isn't a sign that they already have been. I'm no prude or "moral guardian" by any means, but...MY GOD! WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? THE SKY IS FALLING--okay I'm calm now. I just needed to get that out of my system.

 

[viranimus]

Well, considering the youngest mother was 5 years old and that occurred in 1933 I tend to think the argument of "That didnt happen in my day" is bogus. As soon as kids start entering into maturity the curiosity towards sex is not far behind.

But, another thing to consider is... Kids lie. a LOT. And just as much as it was true in my day that a kid would claim to have had sex only to find out it was an outright fabrication in order to look cool, its still true. And please dont dilude yourself into thinking its something that just guys do, because girls are just as guilty of lying about having sex just for the wow factor.

That said... its really nothing new even when it does actually occur. Considering that in the US a study was done a couple years back indicating that most girls claimed to have lost their virginity at 16 and boys averaged at 17, you know there has to be a large portion of kids who are well below that in order to make 16 an average.

As a parent you can try to stop it from occurring, but its like Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a mountain. At best your just delaying the inevitable. So its likely for the best that you instill a good foundation of solid values and explain whats right, whats wrong, and the dangers they face a whole hell of a lot earlier than you would like that way when they are confronted with such situations they are infinitely more likely to make the right decisions for themselves. Thats the only thing that will keep it from happening, is if they make that decision for themselves.

 

[strigon33]

I follow the 'your funeral' strain of philosophy on this matter. That means that if you go ahead and chop your leg off that's your buisness and you are the only one who's gonna be limping afterwards. If you ask my opinion then I think at any point you meet someone who you care enough for. Of cource I have slowly grown into the realization that while I would be more interested in my partner as a person the majority of teenagers (which is an ugly concept that people can easily abuse) follow their libido like the Germans followed Hitler(No Offence). But I also firmly believe that there is nothing you can do about that.

 

[Ham_authority95]

Yet you're saying you would beat her if she dared to dress in a way you don't like?

Yes, I will not let my sister become a whore. Just because mom is a non-parent (I was raised by my dad after they split luckily, my mom is undserving of the title of mother) doesn't mean she can act how she wants. Bad parenting allows bad influences to take over their children. Shows like 16 and Pregnant make it seem like it is good to get knocked up before you graduate. People like that Gaga thing and Paris Hilton make it seem like being a whore is a good thing. Parents need to do some parenting to keep their children from being like those bad influences. If my mom won't be a parent, I will. Afterall, someone has to knock some sense into her.
Try as much as you like to spin things so I look bad. My brothers ruined their lives by getting a whorish girl knocked up, I will not let her do the same.

So...what does "whorish" mean in your eyes?

 

[Ham_authority95]

I'd say most teenagers are too immature to handle relationships so I would disapprove of anyone below the age of 18 dating with a complete cut off point at 15.

Maybe you're too mature to think of relationships as *gasp* something that should be fun and not taken too seriously!

 

[BlueGlowstick]

I graduated from high school in May '10 & I knew girls who had already had babies. I've never had a boyfriend or anything. My family said I couldn't date until I was 18. But here I am, 3 days from 19 & no boyfriend. Bummer.

19 and never had a boyfriend? it is my civic duty both as a person and a single 21 year old male to rectify this situation

back to the op, love knows no age, what you may feel for someone doesn't change if you are 14 or 34 or 84. Sex however, should be held off until both people are mature enough to understand the nature of what they do.

in the words of Fran Fine, aka The Nanny: "Wow, that sounds painful!"

OT: HOW YOUNG IS TOO YOUNG?! Answer: 16 & younger... *types in the words for the Captcha so she can post... damn*

 

[Ickorus]

Maybe you're too mature to think of relationships as *gasp* something that should be fun and not taken too seriously!

What im saying is people should have a bit of sense when they date someone, if you're not serious about dating someone then you're probably gonna end up with someone getting hurt.

I also didn't say relationships shouldn't be fun, I have no idea where you got that from.

Mostly what I was saying in my comment was that kids tend to date people based on popularity rather than anything real.

 

[Slash Dementia]

For my kids:

Sons, before 14 is crazy.
Daughters, before I die is nuts.

That's so true and the best philosophy to live by as a parent [I'm not a parent].

Anyway, on topic, things weren't like this when I was in school. Most kids were pre-occupied with games and other activities, and I rarely heard anyone even mention dating. But, as for me, I've always been the kind of person who gets attached to a person and tries to be "romantic" and looking for something serious--this is since I was about 12. I'd say it's depending on the person and level of maturity and understanding. Anyway, I'd say at age 13-14 is okay.

 

[demoman_chaos]

It's not murder, it's getting rid of a parasite.

Give it to the state. That is free.

Ok, fair point.

So babies are now parasites?
See it is easy to spin something to make the other look bad. It happens all the time in politics (tis a good name for it, poly is a prefix meaning many and ticks a bloodsucking parasites).

I do not see why you condone such behavior for such a young girl. She is 12, she should not be having kids. I am not sure why you think she should, but I have to do what I can to prevent that. If it means knocking some sense into her, I will.

 

[Mckeown]

i think that 13-14 is okay to start going out, kissing, stuff like that. but nothing big and serious until you're about 16/17

 

[Kirch Libre]

Under 18 is too young because you don't even have a concrete view of who you are as an individual. And even by then you are just beginning to scratch the surface of yourself. When you get past all of those fucking hormones and give yourself some time to be your own best friend, your are more likely to have a more meaningful and longer lasting relationship. But what the fuck do I know I'm just some person on the internet and no kid is gonna listen to anybody who has walked down that road before. Go on and enroll in the school of hard knocks.

 

[2733]

I graduated from high school in May '10 & I knew girls who had already had babies. I've never had a boyfriend or anything. My family said I couldn't date until I was 18. But here I am, 3 days from 19 & no boyfriend. Bummer.

19 and never had a boyfriend? it is my civic duty both as a person and a single 21 year old male to rectify this situation

back to the op, love knows no age, what you may feel for someone doesn't change if you are 14 or 34 or 84. Sex however, should be held off until both people are mature enough to understand the nature of what they do.

in the words of Fran Fine, aka The Nanny: "Wow, that sounds painful!"

OT: HOW YOUNG IS TOO YOUNG?! Answer: 16 & younger... *types in the words for the Captcha so she can post... damn*

Rectify does not mean what I think you think it means...I think.

 

[BlueGlowstick]

I graduated from high school in May '10 & I knew girls who had already had babies. I've never had a boyfriend or anything. My family said I couldn't date until I was 18. But here I am, 3 days from 19 & no boyfriend. Bummer.

19 and never had a boyfriend? it is my civic duty both as a person and a single 21 year old male to rectify this situation

back to the op, love knows no age, what you may feel for someone doesn't change if you are 14 or 34 or 84. Sex however, should be held off until both people are mature enough to understand the nature of what they do.

in the words of Fran Fine, aka The Nanny: "Wow, that sounds painful!"

OT: HOW YOUNG IS TOO YOUNG?! Answer: 16 & younger... *types in the words for the Captcha so she can post... damn*

Rectify does not mean what I think you think it means...I think.

I know what it means. it's just I had to seize the moment & say it lol.