When was your first kiss, guys?(guys only, please)
- Thread starter Cameron Lowe
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Oh... sad tiems....RAKtheUndead said:
But honestly, why not?
OT (cool story bro inside):
About 3 years ago as a sophomore in High School, I woke one day in a very odd mood. I threw on a shirt with an ugly color that I'd found sulking miserably beside my dirty clothes pile. I gave the bathroom the cold shoulder and went straight to forcing dry toast down my throat. I sat in the back of class and day dreamed, only taking breaks to eye my teachers cynically. The most you could expect for conversation was probably a nod of the head and a disinterested "hmm." If I dropped my milk carton on the floor, I'd be damned to pick it up. I was just -- apathetic. While I was waiting for the bus home, a girl I knew called me over. She'd been flirting with me for a few days, but I had been pretending not to notice.
The thing you have to understand about her is that she was disgusting. Sand-papery, charcoal hair; short, squat, lumpy, and mannish. Her skin was just the shade of dead flesh and she smelled of mold and a little sweat, like a hot basement. But more than aesthetically, she was rude and dim and contemptuously melodramatic. She screamed "leave me the f@*k alone!" while her black eye-liner and Bullet for my Valentine T was screaming "give me some attention!" She practiced the occult, which she likely learned about from wikipedia if she wasn't just making most of it up. She smoked. She drank. She never used a condom. She slept with girls even though she was with a guy because apparently being bi gives you two relationship slots. Never was there a less choice pick for a sweet first time at anything. Which is exactly why she went ignored for most of the time she flirted with me -- politely of course.
But today I was in no mood to be polite, and today I was in no mood for preserving my dignity. But today I was still -- as I was for years before and remain to this day -- horny. It came a bit out of nowhere. She was going on about something unrelated, but in a smiley, animated fashion. She stepped too close, but I didn't move this time. No, today I said "fuck it," and just let it happen. Because it happened mostly by itself, you know. My neck didn't really move, our faces just came together like disparate gases forming a star -- or more aptly like two mini-vans backing into each other outside a Kohl's. And there, in front of hundreds of idiot teenagers, swarming like ants over their own trivialities, taking no more notice of it than anything they'd seen in class that day, I'd had my first kiss.
This sort of snapped me out of my mood and I mumbled something I can't remember to her before I stumbled back over to my circle of friends. "I think I just kissed Marta." My buddy paused for effect. Slap! I don't remember what they said after that, but I knew I should be ashamed by it. She slipped me her phone number on my way to the bus and I crumpled it into the over-sized tire tread before going up the steps.
[small](But between you and me, that moment was the most magical, transforming moment in my life up to that point. It was like coming up for air from sitting at the bottom of a cold pool. And though I told no one of it, and vowed to make it a more respectable kiss next time, there was nothing I wanted more than to take that breath again. In all honesty I thought I might die now that I'd remembered I needed to breathe.)[/small]
So that was my first time, though I'm sure few, if anyone has taken the time to read it. It was fun to write though so I'm not mad. But that kiss sure was regrettable. I'd hoped to give it to someone special, but alas... it was not meant to be. A much more pleasant memory is the first time I put these lips to work on... quite another set of lips entirely. And a much more unpleasant memory is what happened when she tried to return the favor. But that's neither here nor there.
...lol.
Technically, when I was fourteen.
I had maybe three, and they were all pretty half-assed. They didn't rate above a 1 on a scale of 10.
It was awesome hearing about all of my flaws in my first relationship from a friend rather than the girl.
I had maybe three, and they were all pretty half-assed. They didn't rate above a 1 on a scale of 10.
It was awesome hearing about all of my flaws in my first relationship from a friend rather than the girl.
Never. I scare women.
Also, because it seems relevant (and I like watching people freak out), I present:
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Also, because it seems relevant (and I like watching people freak out), I present:
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Join the clubluckshotpro said:
I had went to my first party when I was 14. It wasn't a drinking, drugs, dance party. Just a small party in someone's basement. Somehow we got into Truth or Dare and that was how my first kiss came and went...it was so unmagical it seemed to bore me
Yeah... but that stuff's cool! Or at least I think so... You really helped me write my essay on Nuclear Power you know. And I wish I knew a little more about the former POTUSes. I think you'll get some. You just need to ask more.RAKtheUndead said:Essentially, no woman I've ever met has ever tolerated the fact that I once installed a 1960s computer operating system for the purposes of entertainment, then wrote a 3,500-word article on it to demonstrate my new-found knowledge. That was the moment that I crossed the line into "profoundly unattractive in every respect", but there's also the whole unusually expansive knowledge on subjects such as the operational principles of the internal combustion engine and former Presidents of the United States which really make women go "
And I really need to stop posting on top of myself. I'll just leave this threat now...
EDIT: Oh, I didn't do it this time. Regardless.
Kehhh... Sixth grade, so that makes it... 12 or 13, I think. I donno.
She forced me to do it, I was ok with it. She got mad at me at first because I turned away just before she did it, though.
I don't remember it too well, but I think I was her first kiss too.
She forced me to do it, I was ok with it. She got mad at me at first because I turned away just before she did it, though.
I don't remember it too well, but I think I was her first kiss too.
Being out at 14 is pretty unusual in most places (though becoming more common), and then finding another person who's gay is a challenge in itself, much less someone you're interested.PoisonUnagi said:Why does it have to be guys only? There's plenty of girls on the Escapist that'll get pissed off by that.
I'm 14 and haven't had one yet, but I'm gay so that's not surprising considering where I live
Watch out when it happens though, tends to open flood gates and you might find yourself being foolish.
When I was thirteen in a hotel with this girl I had met over Starcraft online (not even kidding).
Fast forward one year later, deed is done
Fast forward 6 years later to today, that girl is pregnant to some other douchebag, and I am far far away from the crazy ***** haha.
Fast forward one year later, deed is done
Fast forward 6 years later to today, that girl is pregnant to some other douchebag, and I am far far away from the crazy ***** haha.