Why are parents getting all the blame?

[crudus]

I read that recent article on the kid spending over a $1700 on his xbox, and it reminded me of a similar experience in my family, which I will get to.

First of all, the situations are different in key details. Second it was the mothers fault. This is literally another topic but it brings good contrast into this topic. You can read my opinion of her <a href=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.263278-My-son-racked-up-1k-bill-on-Xbox?page=6#9962104>here.

Moving on...

I don't see how this was the dad's fault.

I realize that he shouldn't have been on Facebook, but when it came to the trouble, it was not the father's negligence. The dad would supervise him, and by the kid's secretive actions, the kid KNEW he was doing something wrong, and knew he shouldn't have been spending that money.

Responsible parenting only goes so far, and then we have to take an honest look at our kids, and realize that upbringing can only do so much. At what point do we blame a kid's upbringing, and at what point do we say that manipulative people will do manipulative things.

Now this father is one who doesn't deserve blame. Home is the one place you should be able to leave your wallet sitting around on the kitchen table. He watched all of his son's interactions and he showed that actions do have consequences. Now, why the kid thought it was a good idea to steal money like that.

 

[Zaik]

Because it is. If a child is an inherently manipulative pest(as in your example) then it's the parent(s) responsibility to fix it or pay the consequences, simple as that.

As for the kid not knowing he was spending money, I highly doubt that. He may not have known how much he'd spent, but there's no way he didn't know he spent money.

 

[CODE-D]

Its the parents fault for not instilling the fear of punishment if he so ever touches(item here).

 

[maddawg IAJI]

I never blame the parents for what happens, it's the kids fault

The law and modern medicine disagree with you.

There's a point where the child's action is inexcusable. That is why we have Juvenile and Youth Courts. At the age of 8 and older, they know the difference between what is right and what is wrong.

The law and modern psychology also disagrees with you. Such a blanket statement is simply absurd. There is many an eighteen-year-old who knows not right from wrong, and too many a seven-year-old who does. This is where the courts have discretion.

We are largely a product of our upbringing. We owe much, if not all, of who we are to our parents and the environment they raised us in. This is why until an individual is eighteen years of age, the first job of the courts is the assess how much of the child's actions were truly their own, and how they were told societies 'good' and 'bad'. Raise a child to believe men have the right to beat women should they disobey, and an eight-year-old boy who hits a female classmate when she refuses to share, is hardly to blame. They did indeed commit the action, but they themselves did so under the education that it was right.

But they still did the action. The judge and juries job isn't to take pity on someone, its to punish those who refuse to follow the laws set by society. The parent isn't responsible for the actions of another human being. And your example of psychology is false as well. 18 years who do wrong do so because they choose to do wrong, the 7 year olds who know the difference because they're brains have developed to the point of understanding societal norms.

Law is set up so the child is to blame for his actions.

 

[Canid117]

If you read the comments on that story you will find that most of us were blaming the kid until the mother refused to punish her "precious little angel" and blame Microsoft. Your uncle also checked his bank statements regularly which this woman did not do. Your cousin also got in trouble while the kid in the story did not. The father also did not blame a third party for the shortcomings of himself and his child.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Well it depends on the circumstances. In that case it's the kid's fault, but in the Xbox case it's both of their faults. It happened over a period of time where the woman should certaintly have noticed the charges, and she attempted to blame Microsoft for it. The eleven year old kid is either a rotten little bastard that knowingly nicked his mum's money or he could tell you what flavour the windows in house are.