Why are women so fickle in love?

[dscross]

Through many years of my dating life, if there?s one thing I?ve noticed more often than others, it?s how fickle women in love are.

Now it?s not just my life I?m talking about, it?s all around me.

Women love fairy tales, chick flicks and romance in their lives. But yet, they create such messy gordian knots of love that they end up hurting others and themselves along the way...

I?m not generalising that all women are fickle in love. But there are a lot more fickle-in-love women out there than there are men who think along those lines.

Why is this?

DISCUSS...

(Sorry not trying to offend - I just had a bad experience and feeling a bit angry right now)

 

[Lionsfan]

Maybe we should talk about your bad experience than make generalizations, especially since all you're going to get here is "I'm not like that" in one way or another

 

[krazykidd]

Because they are taught those things at a young age . While i was watching movies like the lion king and Balto , my sister was watching snow white and cinderella . So in regards to love , some women have unrealistic expectations. This only get's worst when girls reach teenage age , with their boybands and teen hotties and teenager movies . Basically , teenagers ( both boys and girl) are hammered with bullshit , which affects their expectations and actions in the long run . Some grow out of it and understand the real world isn't like that , some don't.

So my advice to anyone who wants to date is , try to seperate the crazies from the normals . After a while it becomes apparent during the first few dates.

 

[Lionsfan]

Maybe we should talk about your bad experience than make generalizations, especially since all you're going to get here is "I'm not like that" in one way or another

I would have indulged the man first, I suspect he's in pain.

Just trying to not have people jumping down his throat and possibly making things worse. Although we should just lock the thread since you nailed it already

 

[Dragonbums]

At the end of the day this thread is going to devolve into a bunch of women on the Escapists coming on to you and saying that they are hardly like the kind of people you describe.

The question shouldn't be "why women are so fickle"

The question should be- "Why the hell am I hanging out with people that like to make things more complicated than they are"

That way, instead of adding stereotypes to a gender you recognize that women are simply humans that have a hole instead of a stick, and it has more to do with their inherent personality then than the fact that they have a Y chromosome.


Now I am going to play devils advocate with your OP's post here.

I can easily say "Why are men such Play boys with love?"

I mean, think about it.
How often is the stereotype of having a man you swoon over say you are the only girl in his eyes, yet just has to make things complicated by having 10 other women wrapped around his finger.

 

[DefunctTheory]

How often is the stereotype of having a man you swoon over say you are the only girl in his eyes, yet just has to make things complicated by having 10 other women wrapped around his finger.

To be fair, God gave us 10 fingers. And I've yet to find a woman I could wrap around all 10.

...

Ew.

Anyway, as others have said, it's kind of a social expectations things. And it is fading, as the differences between gender and sex become greater.

This, of course, has an opposite effect, as now their are quite a few men who cause the same issues. And females that are now 'emotional dead,' as I have frequently been described. And everything in between.

Say what you will about the restrictive old'n days, but at least it was simple. Love is a god damn mine field it seems.

 

[Dragonbums]

How often is the stereotype of having a man you swoon over say you are the only girl in his eyes, yet just has to make things complicated by having 10 other women wrapped around his finger.

To be fair, God gave us 10 fingers. And I've yet to find a woman I could wrap around all 10.

...

Ew.

Anyway, as others have said, it's kind of a social expectations things. And it is fading, as the differences between gender and sex become greater.

This, of course, has an opposite effect, as now their are quite a few men who cause the same issues. And females that are now 'emotional dead,' as I have frequently been described. And everything in between.

Say what you will about the restrictive old'n days, but at least it was simple. Love is a god damn mine field it seems.

Love was always a mine field.

Back in the old days (and I mean 30's old days) what choice did a women really have honestly?
Sure she could get a job as a teacher, but that didn't pay squat. Certainly not really enough to make a comfortable living, and getting to higher paying jobs as a woman, was a pipe dream for many.

Marriage literally was the next big thing for them. So of course it would be simpler in terms of love.
Now I'm not saying all women who married back then were only their for the advantage, but not true love, but you know, the worst kind of depression is the one where you realize you never...really...did get what you wanted. And that maybe, just maybe, you could of been something a lot more than what you are right now.

 

[HoneyVision]

It's not just women. Men can be and are just as silly and illogical when they're 'in love'. It's very much quite pathetic.

And it's nothing to do with upbringing or social expectations, I think people all just have it in them to be like that. Some are just more prone to it.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Love was always a mine field.

Actually, according to Pat Benatar, love is a battlefield, as opposed to simply a minefield.

I?m not generalising that all women are fickle in love. But there are a lot more fickle-in-love women out there than there are men who think along those lines.

You absolutely are generalizing, this feeble disclaimer notwithstanding. I'm sorry you encountered someone who was fickle. People are often "fickle" in their teens and early twenties, as they're still figuring out what they like. Some grow out of it, some don't.

 

[Abomination]

Depends on how old you are talking.

If you're talking about teenagers or early 20s then they're not so much fickle as they're flip-flopping between finding romantic attachment and long-term financial stability. Yes, those gender roles are still in effect despite showing signs of being on the way out. You're talking to children whose parents subscribed to those gender roles, they're not just going to change gender culture suddenly in one generation... so maybe in 50 years from now the gender roles will have changed.

Seldom can a female find the best of both attributes available to them in the same package.

I can't blame them either. What they want and what they currently have will change. Nobody is obligated to remain in a relationship when they no longer have romantic interest in their partner.

We need some context in this though. The OP needs to give his examples as to what happened and only then could we have any idea if they're "common" of the female sex.

 

[DefunctTheory]

Love was always a mine field.

Actually, according to Pat Benatar, love is a battlefield, as opposed to simply a minefield.

I think minefield is more accurate, at least in my experience. Battlefield implies some contest of wills, while mine field implies the act of simply surviving the experience with all your toes.

But that's just my experience. I've been accused more then once of being socially simpleminded and daft.

Back in the old days (and I mean 30's old days) what choice did a women really have honestly?
Sure she could get a job as a teacher, but that didn't pay squat. Certainly not really enough to make a comfortable living, and getting to higher paying jobs as a woman, was a pipe dream for many.

Marriage literally was the next big thing for them. So of course it would be simpler in terms of love.
Now I'm not saying all women who married back then were only their for the advantage, but not true love, but you know, the worst kind of depression is the one where you realize you never...really...did get what you wanted. And that maybe, just maybe, you could of been something a lot more than what you are right now.

?

At the risk of being on-topic, I'd question the relationship between love and marriage in the "old days": simple and good are distinct concepts

Since I somehow (Because I'm a moron) seemed to have brought up the subjugation through social standards of women of the old days, for which I apologize. I didn't mean to say that it was better, or that it applies in anyway to modern notions of love.

Whoops.

 

[DefunctTheory]

Since I somehow (Because I'm a moron) seemed to have brought up the subjugation through social standards of women of the old days, for which I apologize. I didn't mean to say that it was better, or that it applies in anyway to modern notions of love.

I was reading too much into what you wrote, rather likely due to my level of tiredness, a cocktail or two, a lack of tone of voice and absent facial expressions etc. Clearly you should post pictures and audio samples in future

Facial expression's aren't really my forte anyway. Perhaps captions will help.

 

[Dragonbums]

The question should be- "Why the hell am I hanging out with people that like to make things more complicated than they are"

A small observation, but the phrasing seems to imply that the speaker knows how things are and that the other person is deliberately making them more complicated. Whilst that's certainly a possibility, it's also a possibility that the speaker is oversimplifying or doesn't see the situation in the same way as the person about whom they are speaking.

Perhaps the question should be: why am I seeing things differently from these other people?

At the risk of being on-topic, I'd question the relationship between love and marriage in the "old days": simple and good are distinct concepts

As Abomination has stated, there isn't really a whole lot of context in the OP to really clarify what exactly is going on between him and the women of interest.

So for all we know, what I said could be completely wrong or on the ball.
I think OP needs to come back to this thread and edit the post so people know where to really start on this issue.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

I have never experienced women being fickle with love. I have female friends who have had fickle guys, which drives them insane. So there are those kind of people on both sides. I've been quite fickle myself, then reality hit me like a brick to the face, groin, and self-esteem.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I don't know about men and women, but love itself is fickle, i.e. erratic and inconsistent.
If everybody has their own definition of love, how can love not be erratic and inconsistent?

 

[Daystar Clarion]

This may be obvious, but I assume you're a heterosexual male?

Of course you're going to think women are more fickle in love, how many men have you dated?