Why bother making 'friends'?

[Optiluiz]

I think it was in Donnie Darko that an old woman said: "Every living thing dies alone." And that's true. In the end, we are all alone, but that doesn't mean other people are worthless, I just think you haven't met the right people yet. However, some never do :/

 

[similar.squirrel]

Do you wear a trench-coat and post comments about Justin Bieber on Meshuggah videos?

 

[Gloomsta]

Of anything I've learned in my short stay on this planet its that people are temporary, disposable, and possibly garbage.

Then you have learned nothing but how to sound arrogant.

Knowing this makes it hard for me to want to bond with people knowing that given a few months to a couple of years I will never see or hear from them again. I wish it wasn't this way, but I've learned though pattern recognition that making friends is pointless, to the point where 'friend' becomes a misnomer.

What does it matter how long you have friends? Its the time you spend with them and bonding with them that counts, and even if it takes a few months, its still worth it, what else you wanna do? Be lonely? Depressed?

I'm wondering what others think about this (and I know I'm going to get a shit-storm of people who are going to be all 'you socially-misaligned misanthrope' on this.) I admit that I sometimes feel lonely and I do have a few people I hang around with, but I'm not friends with them: I just hang around them. There is no sense of comradely or connection, and I don't think I fit in with them anyways. There will be no hard feelings when it comes that I never see them again. I have formed emotional bonds with people before, and at best I had to feel the heartache of never seeing someone I was close to again, and a worst had this relationship betrayed, so why bother anymore if its just going to end in pain?

Pain isnt bad, it lets you learn about life, and pain is part of life, you will experience more pain if you dont acctually bond or communicate with people. Loneliness is worse than separation.

Protip: Stop being negative and enjoy being with people, and if you seperate, it may be sad for a while but not permenantly.

 

[KiKiweaky]

snip

No torrent of abuse here, just pity....

Can I ask how did you come to your conclusion?

 

[Fetzenfisch]

ITT whiny kid is whiny.

seriously. Friends are the best family you will ever get. because you actively chose each other.

 

[Illesdan]

Someone should either close this thread or lock the OP's account. Five pages of this and the OP has yet to be seen and it really isn't going anywhere constructive.

 

[Brawndo]

Sounds like Asperger's to me

 

[MammothBlade]

Of anything I've learned in my short stay on this planet its that people are temporary, disposable, and possibly garbage. Knowing this makes it hard for me to want to bond with people knowing that given a few months to a couple of years I will never see or hear from them again. I wish it wasn't this way, but I've learned though pattern recognition that making friends is pointless, to the point where 'friend' becomes a misnomer.

I'm wondering what others think about this (and I know I'm going to get a shit-storm of people who are going to be all 'you socially-misaligned misanthrope' on this.) I admit that I sometimes feel lonely and I do have a few people I hang around with, but I'm not friends with them: I just hang around them. There is no sense of comradely or connection, and I don't think I fit in with them anyways. There will be no hard feelings when it comes that I never see them again. I have formed emotional bonds with people before, and at best I had to feel the heartache of never seeing someone I was close to again, and a worst had this relationship betrayed, so why bother anymore if its just going to end in pain?

I, too, think making friends will just end badly. Well, I have Severe Social Anxiety Disorder and other lovely afflictions of the mind so, add that to poor social skills in general, I find it extremely hard to make friends. Every failure connecting with people is just negative reinforcement. I have one or two "friends" IRL who I've known for a while, but I just don't have any sort of rapport with them. I just nod along and pretend to be amused. We've mostly drifted apart. Maybe I need better friends, but I... don't know how. So as a result, I just expect to be betrayed at every turn, and expect friendships to be shallow and temporary. =/

You aren't the type of person who should be advising anyone. My Ex girlfriend was just like you. All these problems and never doing shit to fix it.(and so as to not be a complete asshole try actually putting forth the effort. BOTH OF YOU.If you meet someone who you aren't compatible with then look for other people you'd be surprised. I meet friends from the goths, emos, nerds, football players, stoners, I'v even been friends with a hooker.)

Haha. I wasn't trying to advise, just giving my experience; but anyway, that's a rather unfair judgement. I want to make friends, I really do. Yet every time I try and reach out to people, I screw up. Crippling social anxiety gets in the way and I end up seeming completely dull and boring. I've gotten to the point where I think "why bother?", "is there really such a thing as friendship?" I try to maintain a positive attitude but it hasn't paid off as of yet. You think I haven't tried to fix it? I'm getting therapy for my problems at the moment. Too early to tell if it's working. It just isn't as simple as you suggest when you have a mental illness which severely affects your perception of social situations and makes simply being in the proximity of other people a scary situation.

 

[Daffy F]

Of anything I've learned in my short stay on this planet its that people are temporary, disposable, and possibly garbage. Knowing this makes it hard for me to want to bond with people knowing that given a few months to a couple of years I will never see or hear from them again. I wish it wasn't this way, but I've learned though pattern recognition that making friends is pointless, to the point where 'friend' becomes a misnomer.

I'm wondering what others think about this (and I know I'm going to get a shit-storm of people who are going to be all 'you socially-misaligned misanthrope' on this.) I admit that I sometimes feel lonely and I do have a few people I hang around with, but I'm not friends with them: I just hang around them. There is no sense of comradely or connection, and I don't think I fit in with them anyways. There will be no hard feelings when it comes that I never see them again. I have formed emotional bonds with people before, and at best I had to feel the heartache of never seeing someone I was close to again, and a worst had this relationship betrayed, so why bother anymore if its just going to end in pain?

Sounds likes you've never had a real friend, if I'm honest. I've had several friends (as many as 4) who have never let me down. They are always there for me. So that's why I would bother to make friends. Companionship is important to me, and it always will be.

 

[ireskimo]

High school kids. A source of endless entertainment.

Thanks for making me laugh.

Coke came out my nose. I honestly found this comment hilarious.

But yes, from my all knowing ability I can tell that something bad has clearly happened and you're feeling down.
Give it a few weeks on your own and you will miss friends, it's in our nature to be sociable.

 

[Asuka Soryu]

Because for those moments they are with you, they create bliss. And when they're gone, they can be replaced but always remembered. Like the Phoenix born in flames, it may die but it shall rise once again, soaring just as bright.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

yeah, good outlook on life.
why not stop breathing oxygen. it'll just get expelled from your body as carbon dioxide.

 

[The Funslinger]

High school kids. A source of endless entertainment.

Thanks for making me laugh.

We're nature's little punchlines, that's for sure. Anyway, to me, Misanthropes and Nihilists (while they sort of need to be regarded as philosophical and intellectual viewpoints) are, in fact, the stupidest people on the face of the earth for nothing more than the fact that they're like a species of animal that wipes itself out through its own base instincts. (I suppose you could also dig up a metaphor about mankind in that if you're that kind of suicidally depressing person that's the doom of their own existence).

 

[The Funslinger]

Of anything I've learned in my short stay on this planet its that people are temporary, disposable, and possibly garbage.

Then you have learned nothing but how to sound arrogant.

This is hardly the most arrogant "blegh, humanity" statement I've heard. Brace yourself, fine sir for the most arrogant "high up on a pedestal" statement ever to stalk the land. I was listening to a conversation between multiple people. One of these people was extremely (and self admittedly) misanthropic. Then he said "all this horrible shit that humanity is responsible for, just the kind of things they're capable of. I actually consider myself a separate species to mankind."

The tongue lashing I gave him boiled down to "and with that arrogant, bigoted and generalizing statement, you've just proven yourself as bad as, if not worse than the same people you demonize."

Shut him up right nice.

 

[OldNewNewOld]

People tend to avoid stuff that isn't going t bring them long term enjoyment.
Yes, most friends will not be with you trough thick and thin, but they will be there "now". You live "now". Not tomorrow, not the next week, year or in the past.

It is nice if you can get a friend for your whole life, but it's also nice to have one now. I remember all my friends and all the great time we had. Maybe we don't see each other anymore, maybe we moved on, found other friends, but the time we spent together was real.

So instead of thinking how the good times will end, think how it IS the good times. And when they end, you will be able to look back and say "I had fun".
But what if you don't search for friends? You will still be alone like when the friendship ends, but you won't be able to turn around and remember the good old times.

You don't lose anything, you only gain. So why not find some friends, even if it's just for a day?

 

[Dreamer of Theaters]

This thread is so stupid that I'm not gonna respond to the question. I WILL however, read the hilarious responses from other people who can see through this misanthropic bullshit. Honestly, misanthropy is pathetic unless your Daria. (then it is hilarious) Go Daria!
Tell me, do you play Korn or Disturbed at full volume in your room? GO LISTEN TO SOMETHING ELSE! (perhaps Zeppelin, Yes, Sabbath, Metallica, Slayer, Beatles, Blur, Jethro Tull, Deep Purple etc.) I suggest Jethro Tull and Beatles, they are uplifting and happy. At least MOST of their stuff.

WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE! (that got bombed by Jimi Hendrix when he was snorkelling underwater on a pony) See Yahtzee for that last part.

I RATHER SEE YOU DEAD LITTLE GIRL THAN TO BE WITH ANOTHER MAN.

And when you get to the corus you cut yourself. While naked. In the shower. On the floor.

Mate, what the fuck are you on about?

If you get to scream out random Beatles lyrics, so do I. Freedom!
That's odd. It didn't pop up on my tabs that you responded. Wtf?
I AM THE EGGMAN! I AM THE WALRUS SITTING ON A CORNFLAKE THAT COMES TOGETHER WITH A YELLOW SUBMARINE, AND I SAY HELLO AND YOU SAY GOODBYE!

And don't worry, that last part was not meant torwards you, but the OP. But if you feel like it sounds like a pleasant afternoon I suggest you try it.

Lolololol, SOMEONE (probably the OP) just moderated my original post. That makes me lol.

 

[TorqueConverter]

Put simply


but more impotantly
friendship is awesome, yes there are fickle people, and friends that seem like they're not worth the effort, but a good friend will always be there, your stag do, your wedding, even at your funeral, they provide emotional support, even physical support (if you need help moving house or there is a particularly big sofa in need of movement.

Friendship is Magic, *****

Replace "pie" with "My little Pony: Friendship is Magic" and you get this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eYSpIz2FjU

 

[Dreamer of Theaters]

Emo emo emo, whine whine whine, ***** ***** *****, why does nobody love me.
You're telling this to a SOCIAL COMMUNITY! Stop being so angsty for attention, and if not attention, then grow up.

What the fuck? How come when I said something like that, I get moderated, but you don't? I'm not saying we both deserve to be moderated (in fact, we should both be given a fucking medal) but how come they paid attention to me? Is it because I made mine too large and noticeable.

 

[Dreamer of Theaters]

That's an awful state of mind.
Some friends do come and go, so then you make new ones. Out of my old ones, maybe 1 or 2 still talk to me. Instead of crying, I made new friends.
I still can't believe people think, "All people are shit until they prove themselves worthy" so those self righteous twats seem to think it gives them the right to treat everyone like shit.

Gonna guess OP is younger than 20 years old. They should hopefully grow out of it, I used to be really miserable and attention seeking years ago too.

I'm pretty sure we have ALL gone thought that phase before.

OP: (Being serious for a moment, holy shit!) You'll grow out of it. But all I can say is what people said to me when I went through that phase: "Grow up." Otherwise you'll become a bitter old man contemplating suicide at the early age of 60/70. Seriously, "Cheer up Murray" and hopefully you'll grow out of it. If it helps, try writing poetry. It helps get bottled emotions out. Wish I still did it these days...