Why bother making 'friends'?
- Thread starter Mikodite
- Start date
You remind me of me, when I was at school. For the most part, you're right. In a few years maybe you wont talk to any of them again, but maybe you'll spend the rest of your life knowing atleast one.Mikodite said:
I wasn't much of a people person at school - I kept my head down, done my work and got bullied just like everyone else. Maybe it was my own fault that happened, I tried to break away from the social norm - but alas, sidetracked. You're time at school is, in my opinion, one of the most crucial times in your life. You learn many things and you learn much about yourself. You may not want or need many friends, but I can guarantee you at some point you will.
I view school friends as just that, school friends - Y'know, they're not "that" important. If you have to make a life-changing choice or do something with them, you make the life-changing choice. THOUGH, you may also meet one of the single most awesome people ever also. In primary school (7-11) I met one of my best mates - for the 5 years of that school, we stood by each other, then we went to secondary (11-16) and again, we were both there. We were like brothers. We'd have taken a bullet for one another. Hell, I still know this guy now. We don't speak much anymore, such is life, but we haven't forgotten out school years. That's 12 years I've known him. That's more than some marriages last.
At the end of the day, not all people feel the need to interact and socialize with others. That's just who they are. There's nothing wrong with you at all, but don't just ignore people altogether, because you could meet one of the most awesome people ever and trust me, knowing you have someone who would gladly give his right arm for, is a good feeling.
Too far. You're reported.Substitute Troll said:
@OP: The best part of your little pity party is that you've missed a vital ingredient for making friends.
You yourself have to be able to offer them something on some emotional level, it isn't a one-way street there you selfish child.
If you only view friends as givers then you need to rethink your worldview.
I think you might have a nihilistic attitude towards friendship, though I'm not an expert on the topic.
But I thought I recognized a few things from my philosophy classes here.
"[Nihilism is] a condition of tension, as a disproportion between what we want to value (or need) and how the world appears to operate."
- Friederich Nietzsche
"Nihilism is the philosophical doctrine suggesting the negation of one or more putatively meaningful aspects of life."
- Wikipedia
Don't let yourself get talked down, there were many people thinking like this in history and they were nither emos nor in highschool.
Just read up on the topic, there are tons of literature on this, written by extremely intelligent people.
But I thought I recognized a few things from my philosophy classes here.
"[Nihilism is] a condition of tension, as a disproportion between what we want to value (or need) and how the world appears to operate."
- Friederich Nietzsche
"Nihilism is the philosophical doctrine suggesting the negation of one or more putatively meaningful aspects of life."
- Wikipedia
Don't let yourself get talked down, there were many people thinking like this in history and they were nither emos nor in highschool.
Just read up on the topic, there are tons of literature on this, written by extremely intelligent people.
and of course this.VeneratedWulfen93 said:
You(r) either-
A: a teenager who is gonna grow out of it or kill themselves from a miss guided sense of uselessness that will ultimately prove you are useless.
B: faking this.
C: generally telling the truth to which i say life is boring if you don't have any friends cause who the hell will you joke around with, hang out with, and spend the good times with / make them yourselves? they don't even need to be a true friend. I've had dozens of people i love to hang out with but iv only had 1 true friend.
D: need cookies and a hug. Cause the list needed a D and i had no ideas, and you sound like you need D.
Which ever is closer take that as my post.
A: a teenager who is gonna grow out of it or kill themselves from a miss guided sense of uselessness that will ultimately prove you are useless.
B: faking this.
C: generally telling the truth to which i say life is boring if you don't have any friends cause who the hell will you joke around with, hang out with, and spend the good times with / make them yourselves? they don't even need to be a true friend. I've had dozens of people i love to hang out with but iv only had 1 true friend.
D: need cookies and a hug. Cause the list needed a D and i had no ideas, and you sound like you need D.
Which ever is closer take that as my post.
This. This is why you don't have any friends.Mikodite said:
Because you sound like a fucking sociopath. Jesus, I know you're a teenager and all teenagers apparently go through phases like this, but seriously. That people are temporary is the sad truth of mortality. That people are disposable is the kind of mindset that makes people who might want to be friends with you rethink their decision and makes people who would be otherwise ambivalent to you call you a whiny little *****.
Life is a beautiful fucking thing if you invest the fucking effort in it. Out of the hundreds of people I've associated with over the years, about ten of them I could honestly call my friends. Yeah, it sucks when we're apart, but most of us have managed to stay together since second fucking grade. So yeah, most relationships are temporary at best, but assuming that every single one of them will inevitably fail is the kind of bullshit that stops you from having real lifelong pals.
You aren't the type of person who should be advising anyone. My Ex girlfriend was just like you. All these problems and never doing shit to fix it.(and so as to not be a complete asshole try actually putting forth the effort. BOTH OF YOU.If you meet someone who you aren't compatible with then look for other people you'd be surprised. I meet friends from the goths, emos, nerds, football players, stoners, I'v even been friends with a hooker.)Octogunspunk said:
Words to live by, right here.DarkRyter said:
I'm not going to provide the OP with any advice, because he's clearly either going through a phase, or just a horrible human being not worth the energy it takes to type out a response.
Instead, I'm just going to post the Blues Brothers theme. Because I just saw it last weekend, and it's awesome.
I think I've spent too much time on Internet forums. I anticipated virtually every response to this thread.
Dear OP: High school is not the real world. It's not even a good approximation of it. Life does get better. But not with that attitude. Relax. Don't be so earnest. You probably don't have it all figured out; none of us do.
Some tips:
1. Help people. Help little old ladies out to their cars. Offer assistance to a person in distress, even if you don't know them personally. Return a lost dog to its owner.[footnote]Dogs are good people.[/footnote] You'll feel better.
2. Be positive. Pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy. No one likes a sour grape.
3. Watch a funny video. Make yourself laugh.
4. Don't read the news. It's mostly overblown, depressing garbage anyway.
Dear OP: High school is not the real world. It's not even a good approximation of it. Life does get better. But not with that attitude. Relax. Don't be so earnest. You probably don't have it all figured out; none of us do.
Some tips:
1. Help people. Help little old ladies out to their cars. Offer assistance to a person in distress, even if you don't know them personally. Return a lost dog to its owner.[footnote]Dogs are good people.[/footnote] You'll feel better.
2. Be positive. Pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy. No one likes a sour grape.
3. Watch a funny video. Make yourself laugh.
4. Don't read the news. It's mostly overblown, depressing garbage anyway.
Everything in life is fleeting, temporary, disposable and 'pointless'. There's no meaning of life, no reason to do anything really.Mikodite said:
So it's up to each individual to decide what pointless things they want to do with their lives. Like making friends.
This thread is 5 pages long while I'm typing this and the one who started this has not had any other posts in the entire thread. Thereby, I declare this thread an exquisitely succesful troll. Shine on, you crazy diamond!
and on topic: Because bumping into your ex-mates somewhere feels really good.
and on topic: Because bumping into your ex-mates somewhere feels really good.
Yes, it does look like you're going through insert-fingerquotes-THAT phase, if you know what I mean. The "I'm a misanthrope and people are disposable trash and I'm my own little island" phase.Mikodite said:
We're humans. Humans are social creatures, as are all primates. The one difference we have from Bonobo chimps is that our methods of socialization are legion. If you're figuring that you'll be able to live out your life as a hermit, think again. Social contacts come in all shapes and sizes, especially nowadays with social networking taking so much space in our lives. You also have to consider that we have differing levels of social interaction.
I'm a quiet guy, and I can go for weeks on end without meaningful contacts with anyone. Still, at some point or another, I'm bound to want to talk to someone, to make some kind of connection, to at least start a discussion. My father's a social butterfly, in that he starts to feel like a meth addict missing his fix if he doesn't have one little soirée with friend and/or family every two weeks. The longer he puts off meeting people because of obligations or life giving him a bad set of cards for a few months, then we can be sure the end of that slump will be marked with him wanting to see EVERYONE in his circle of friends in quick succession.
To people like myself or my mother, whom you could consider as slightly feral, it's more than a little off-putting. Does that mean we consider people to be trash or that we don't value companionship? Of course not. You might think that every social encounter can only end in pain, right now, but if you keep that mindset, you'll deprive yourself of so much of what life has to offer.
Here's another example. I lost my dog, a year ago. While I was crushed, I took a different path from my parents. They'd never seen me be so devastated before, and they assumed I wouldn't want to live through something like this ever again. What they were missing is that I went through two weeks of intense emotional turmoil in exchange for TWELVE FRICKING YEARS of pure "A Boy and his Dog"-type bliss. Yes, owning a dog is an experience that will end in pain in one way or another - but as someone else said, the high road to that one gritty moment is filled with so much that needs to be experienced, so much that enriches your personal experience, that depriving yourself of that feels like a crime.
If you followed your own logic, you'd stay home, lock yourself up and never meet anyone ever again. You'd cut off any potential sense of loss and cull the less meaningful contacts, sure - but you'd miss out on a little thing called life.
As a great man of whom I ignore the name once said; it's the journey that matters, not the destination.
Oh - and it's spelled "Camaraderie".
Put simply
but more impotantly
friendship is awesome, yes there are fickle people, and friends that seem like they're not worth the effort, but a good friend will always be there, your stag do, your wedding, even at your funeral, they provide emotional support, even physical support (if you need help moving house or there is a particularly big sofa in need of movement.
Friendship is Magic, *****
but more impotantly
friendship is awesome, yes there are fickle people, and friends that seem like they're not worth the effort, but a good friend will always be there, your stag do, your wedding, even at your funeral, they provide emotional support, even physical support (if you need help moving house or there is a particularly big sofa in need of movement.
Friendship is Magic, *****