I'm sure I've got a red button on my profile. You should press that one.
Anyway, it's typically seen as coercion, and abusing one's lover's footing. If you've only recently graduated and thus only recently started living as an adult, but your partner already has an established life and education, some might see it as mooching or gold-digging.
Hey, older men can take care of babies. My Dad had his 4th and currently final child when he was 50, and he's a produce farmer so it's not like he has a cushy job, but he's doing a damn fine job of raising him, he never seems stressed out and I'd say Dad actually looks quite young for his age.
Understand your concenrs, but please don't generalize on subjects you don't have first-hand experience with.
I'm glad to hear your father has carried it well, but from what I've seen I'd think he's the exception rather than the rule. It sounds like your dad has a good strong support structure around him (like you, presumably an adult child to help him out when he needs it) not all older parents will be so lucky. And by the time that baby turns 20 your dad will be 70. Most people would rather be thinking about retirement or actually be in it at that age, rather than trying to figure out how to pay for their children's college loans.
But I didn't mean to imply that older people were inherently bad parents or that they all couldn't take it. It is pretty much always a bad idea for women to get pregnant after 40 though, because there's a dramatically increased chance of down syndrome and other handicaps in the children due to her eggs also being 40(+) years old.
SilverLion said:
My personal philosophy on debates like this is ALWAYS treat it as serious. If they are lying, then the only harm is that you feel a bit silly reacting seriously to a troll. But if it IS serious, then there is a whole lot of messed up shit that could be going on, and you might need to give some serious anonymous advice.
It's extremely unprofessional. Your teacher may have had a conflict of interest when marking you. This has nothing to do with age gaps, this has to do with that teacher acting extremely unprofessional. If your principal had ever found out about this while you were still in school, your teacher have been fired.
i was planning on marriage for many years so i guess it seems more rushed than it is....
Imp Emissary said:
Unless you wrote on the skirt: "Hey hubby, lift me up", what you pick to wear does not put you at fault.
The blame rest on the person who chose to do it, not who they did it to.
You don't have to accept people making you uncomfortable.
If your husband does love you, I think he can agree to not fondle you in public/private company, if you do not approve.
If he does not, as others said, you shouldn't keep the relationship going.
my theory is- my dress being short means that when sit and cuddle him on his lap my cheeks are on his lap. if my dress is longer it means i sit and my dress materials on his lap (not cheeks). so i think when my dress is short and we cuddle it gives me ideas so then when i stand up and we go walking he has it in his head and wants to touch there. i enjoy his hands but just as long as we dont get arrested for exposure or lewd acts etc
:/ Eh, don't get me wrong. As long as it's legal, and mutual, do what ya want.
It just kind of sounds like you're not inputting enough of your own thoughts/feelings into the decisions of the relationship.
It's good to listen to others, and take advice. But you should not do so without question, or checking if you really agree.
All I'm saying is; Make sure you set the "rules of the relationship" WITH your husband.
If something is done you don't approve of, tell him so he can understand.
One person can't be calling ALL the shots in a relationship, and have it end up healthy.
If you have talked about what crosses the line, and what's okay, you should be fine.
Unless the rules are being ignored. Then you have yourself a problem.
Once again: the person at fault would be the one breaking the rules.
hard to say which is my thought or his thought :s
its my thought when i wear a mini-dress. but its his thought when his hand goes under. but my thought when i enjoy/don't say no.
its hard to know whats the right rule:z
My personal philosophy on debates like this is ALWAYS treat it as serious. If they are lying, then the only harm is that you feel a bit silly reacting seriously to a troll. But if it IS serious, then there is a whole lot of messed up shit that could be going on, and you might need to give some serious anonymous advice.
Personally I don't like the sound of this guy. he sounds like a lech. And besides, when you're 30 and not as fresh and young looking as you are now, what's to say he won't decide to go after someone a little... fresher... if you catch my meaning. Personally, I would propose an experiment; start shaming him for two or three weeks, refuse to sleep in his bed, start getting bossy, all that stuff. I'm not saying this to be a flamer, but over those two or three weeks see how he reacts. If he seems callous, indifferent or abusive, then get the hell out of there while you still can!
Hopefully, we're just overreacting and he is a nice guy, if a little cheeky. But still: Please, PLEASE think this through!
Had a whole thing written out for you, but then Chrome decided to crash, so I'm going to make this much shorter.
This is a very abusive relationship you're in. The man clearly doesn't care for you as a person, rather seeing you as his personal sex toy. He has no respect for you, has a pedophilic mindset, is highly unprofessional, abusive of his power (both as a teacher and as your husband), and doesn't have a problem making you fearful and uncomfortable.
You rushed into this due to past abusive relationships, feeling safe with this man most likely because of the fatherly teacher association (which as I've said before, is an utter farce). You've ignored the advice of your family and friends to not get married to this asshole, you're under the delusion that his sexual abuse is okay and unavoidable because 'that's the price of love', and you're obviously not mentally mature enough to deal with something such as this.
My advice: leave this man immediately, and report him to your local police and school board. He shouldn't be allowed to walk as a free man, and should in no way be allowed around people's children. Go stay with your family or some friends if you can, until you can get back on your feat and stand steady. And most importantly, please, seek some kind of professional therapeutic help, and/or a support group. This is not the sort of thing ANYONE should have to deal with. I implore you to do something before this asshole ruins you life utterly.
Also, if possible, take some classes or something, so that you can learn some more, develop mentally, and make something of yourself.
Yeah, I'm sorry, but this is setting off some serious alarms in my head. This guy seems like someone who gets off on being the one with all the power and doesn't see you as his equal. This relationship is mildly creepy at best, and from what you have said, you are not looking at a best case scenario. The fact that he was fantasizing about you while you were A) under aged and B) completely off limits due to the fact that he was your teacher tells me that this guy is not to be trusted. To be totally honest, seem to be lacking in maturity in big way and have been in an abusive relationships before. I think you are seeking a person who makes you feel safe, even if that feeling of safety is just you telling yourself that this semi-father figure isn't just another person looking to take advantage of you. This may seem harsh, but even if I ultimately have no clue who you are, I don't want you to be hurt, and I can't shake the feeling that this is going to end in tears, likely when this guy dumps you for one of his students judging from his interactions with you.
Also, you said that you have curves and probably looked like you were 30, that's bullshit and you know it. 16 year olds don't look that old, for the most part its pretty obvious they are teenagers. It sounds more like your flirting attracts creepy old guys who just want a piece of jailbait.
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