"Why don't you have a girlfriend?"

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lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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Because every girl I've wanted to ask out already had a boyfriend.

;__;

I'll get a girlfriend when I meet one I'd want to date who isn't already doing so. However, people generally don't ask if I have a girlfriend, so I don't suffer the "humiliation" (definitely not the right word) of not having one upon being asked.
 

Winthrop

New member
Apr 7, 2010
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Atrocious Joystick said:
Hagi said:
Atrocious Joystick said:
We want to eat, fuck and be safe from predators. Everything else comes from these needs.
I'm curious...

How exactly does making posts on an internet forum in any way at all contribute to eating, fucking or being safe from predators?

I reckon human psychology might just be a tad more complicated than you're making it out to be.
Okay fine, add Entertainment to that list. Eating, fucking, security and entertainment. Posting on the internet is entertainment.

I'm not saying human psychology is simple. Just because at the most basic version it could be explained away by relatively few basic desires doesn't mean it's simple. Everything that you can touch, including us, is made up of some combination or other of some of the 118 elements. Doesn't mean matter is a simple thing.
I'd bet you could put posting on the internet under society which goes under security so I'd say you were fine beforehand. Your post is a simplification, but I'd say that it sums up human psychology fairly well.
 

ProtoChimp

New member
Feb 8, 2010
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I don't want one. This one girl came on to me, and she was cute, but she was a little creepy. And before anyone says any kind of anime trope I mean the very bad kind of creepy. I like romance and intimacy but I hate drama and I don't enjoy going out all the time. A few times in a week maybe but not every week and certainly not every day, though I guess that differs from person to person. Plus I don't have the money to spend on myself, let alone another person.
 

Naeras

New member
Mar 1, 2011
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If you don't feel like being in a relationship, then you honestly shouldn't. Anyone telling you otherwise is blatantly wrong.

It's really that simple.
 

Palademon

New member
Mar 20, 2010
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I personally enjoy how every person who says any girl would be lucky to have me...aren't interested me.

No, this is not something girls who reject me out of pity say, it's what my friends say.
I'm not interested in them either, but it sort of implies the unfortunate reality that who people are attracted to isn't formed logically, making such morale pick ups just seem tragic.


The main problem is I'm not interested in many people, and nobody is interested in me.
 

Jodokh

New member
Oct 2, 2012
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The town Im in is way to small. The line "In a small town you don't miss your chance, you just miss yout turn". Applies very very much, my social circle has shared girls with each other untentionaly... Ugh and my best friend just tagged a girl, that I was wanting make up with... Now remember why I leave this town every couple of months
 

Marcus Kehoe

New member
Mar 18, 2011
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Up until not a few moths ago I really didn't want a relationship, now that i'm 19 and i feel comfortable I feel I'm ready. Know it's just a matter of finding someone I want to date.

At this point I am semi-desperate for a relationship, but still, I appreciate my joy of being single.
 

Evil Smurf

Admin of Catoholics Anonymous
Nov 11, 2011
11,594
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I was at the train station, and I get two girls. Being so smooth is a curse *le sigh*.
 

Reginald the Butler

New member
Mar 29, 2012
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ohnoitsabear said:
Just tell them that you're gay. Not only will they stop bugging you about getting a girlfriend, but they'll also feel really terrible about asking in the first place. It's a perfect plan that has no possible unintended consequences!
I had a roommate do that to a door-to-door salesman. The guy was getting pushier and mentioned that if he were a pretty girl, my roommate would have bought something from him. The guy's expression and moment of silence after my roommate replied, "Dude,I'm gay" was priceless.
 

Fijiman

I am THE PANTS!
Legacy
Dec 1, 2011
16,509
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I don't have a girlfriend because I just don't really want one. Simple as that.

The fact that I'm not the most outgoing person in the world either so that doesn't help me much either.
 

Giftfromme

New member
Nov 3, 2011
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ImBigBob said:
I've noticed lately that people have met me and automatically assume I have a girlfriend. "You're handsome and smart and funny. Why don't you have one?" It's like they're saying "I know you're not a loser, and only single guys are losers". Yeah, with a college degree and a well-paying job I've accomplished a lot with my life before I've even hit 25. So people are shocked when I say I don't have one.

It's not because I particularly LIKE being single. I've just never met a girl who made me want to be with her. I find that the only girls who ever flirt with me are either slutty/ditzy/drunk, which I really don't find attractive. Yet some friends act like I'm an idiot for not going for the easy lay. On the other hand, every girl I find myself attracted to turns out to already have a boyfriend (at least, that's what they tell me when I ask them out).

Why is society so obsessed with relationships and sex? I've seen people suggest sex as an intrinsic need that humans have, but I've done just fine without it. I highly doubt going to a bar and picking up some random girl is going to make me feel better about my life.

Captcha: Stand And Deliver
This is why you don't have a girlfriend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X52Ugkxi-Ec

This is an epic video, watch the whole thing, eh can't get the tags to work
 

Bat Vader

Elite Member
Mar 11, 2009
4,997
2
41
The main reasons I don't have a girlfriend is because I am bad at trusting people and letting someone that close to me who could potentially harm me emotionally is too much of a security risk. Plus, I am working on on writing and trying to become an author so I feel a relationship would most likely be a distraction. The other reason is because I really don't want to be a parent so staying out of a relationship ensures I never become a parent.
 

dvd_72

New member
Jun 7, 2010
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I usually get asked this at family gatherings and it bugs me. It makes me feel like the fact that I'm still single, an have always been single, means that I'm wrong or broken in some way. The truth is I'm not really in the best place in life to have one. My home is in Belgium but I'm studying in England, so I spend half my year in each country and that is not conducive to a good relationship (long distance sucks I hear). Until my homing situation stabilizes I think remaining single would be best for me, although that doesn't explain why I haven't gotten laid in years. That is because I'm not a fan of one-night stands.

Also until shortly before I started uni I wasn't all that confident in myself, and since then the women who have caught my eye usually have boyfriends. It probably doesn't help that I'm terrible at picking up on signs that someone is attracted to me. I can be dense like that. Also I'm bad at initiating conversations with strangers.
 

Aaron Sylvester

New member
Jul 1, 2012
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WaitWHAT said:
Funny you should say this, I read a really good article [http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20219349] on this lately.

It basically said that there's a strong social trend to portray being in a relationship as a sign of success and social competence and, therefore, not being in one is grounds for considering oneself failed or wrong in some way. I mean, just think about it. How often, when advertisers, T.V. directors, writers, etc, want to portray someone as being happy and successful, do they put them in a relationship? And how rarely are said characters not?
Pretty sure the pressure of having a partner is far more heavily applied onto men than women.
To put it extremely bluntly, a guy without a GF = unsuccessful, someething is "not right" with him, etc. Meanwhile a girl without a BF = cautious, pure, difficult to get with (and that much more rewarding), called smart to play it safe, etc etc.
That's now the media portrays it, that's how society portrays it, that's how most of the world is still wired to think.

A successful woman won't be asked "you're beautiful, successful, where's your man?" as much as she'll be told "you go girl, who needs a man!". Meanwhile if a rich successful and handsome guy is seen on his own, people start wondering why he doesn't have a girl clamped onto his arm 24/7 like a freaking accessory. It's just how it works.

So it's no surprise that if the OP is in his 20's and has a secure well-paying job, people are asking him why he isn't in a relationship. If it was a girl she would've been told to keep pursuing her career or something.
 

Mr F.

New member
Jul 11, 2012
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ImBigBob said:
I've noticed lately that people have met me and automatically assume I have a girlfriend. "You're handsome and smart and funny. Why don't you have one?" It's like they're saying "I know you're not a loser, and only single guys are losers". Yeah, with a college degree and a well-paying job I've accomplished a lot with my life before I've even hit 25. So people are shocked when I say I don't have one.

It's not because I particularly LIKE being single. I've just never met a girl who made me want to be with her. I find that the only girls who ever flirt with me are either slutty/ditzy/drunk, which I really don't find attractive. Yet some friends act like I'm an idiot for not going for the easy lay. On the other hand, every girl I find myself attracted to turns out to already have a boyfriend (at least, that's what they tell me when I ask them out).

Why is society so obsessed with relationships and sex? I've seen people suggest sex as an intrinsic need that humans have, but I've done just fine without it. I highly doubt going to a bar and picking up some random girl is going to make me feel better about my life.

Captcha: Stand And Deliver
Well...

Society is obsessed with relationships and sex because without the two, there would be no society (Or human race). Your reaction is rather strange, can you really not see why people are shocked that you single? If you are all of the things you state yourself to be, does it come as a surprise that people are shocked when they find out you are single?

So... Nothing to see here, move on? This thread is devoid of discussion value.

And it just seems like a way of massaging your ego. I mean "Look at me, I am smart, Funny, and people just think I should have a girlfriend! I turn down bar-skanks! Super successful me! Could people tell me feel better about being single by claiming that society is flawed?" Personally, I have no problem with this. I mean, I have a beautiful girlfriend and my life aint going too badly so, yeah, I have no problem.

However, going onto a website filled with people who have got very used to the idea of being foreveralone.jpg to complain about how people instantly assume you should have a girlfriend and how you hate turning down bar skanks? Just seems like a kick in the teeth to the community.

Oh, and your entire post is devoid of any discussion value.

Unless you really want to get into the sociological reasoning behind all of this, in which case one could cite popular media and stuff like that... Or just look at history and accept that humans are expected to form family units once they are old enough to do so.
 

launchpadmcqwak

New member
Dec 6, 2011
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ImBigBob said:
I've noticed lately that people have met me and automatically assume I have a girlfriend. "You're handsome and smart and funny. Why don't you have one?" It's like they're saying "I know you're not a loser, and only single guys are losers". Yeah, with a college degree and a well-paying job I've accomplished a lot with my life before I've even hit 25. So people are shocked when I say I don't have one.

It's not because I particularly LIKE being single. I've just never met a girl who made me want to be with her. I find that the only girls who ever flirt with me are either slutty/ditzy/drunk, which I really don't find attractive. Yet some friends act like I'm an idiot for not going for the easy lay. On the other hand, every girl I find myself attracted to turns out to already have a boyfriend (at least, that's what they tell me when I ask them out).

Why is society so obsessed with relationships and sex? I've seen people suggest sex as an intrinsic need that humans have, but I've done just fine without it. I highly doubt going to a bar and picking up some random girl is going to make me feel better about my life.

Captcha: Stand And Deliver
cause its nice too be in love, real nice.
 

Zio_IV

Not a Premium Member
Sep 17, 2011
177
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I get asked the same question every time one of my more distant relatives shows up. Back when I was in my teens, when I would tell them I didn't want one, they would always just say that I'll change my mind later on. In my mid-twenties now, and I've still had no inclination to be in a relationship at any point in my life.

Every time people try to describe the reasons why relationships are awesome, they're all things that sound terrible, unnecessary, and a waste of time and money (to me). I honestly can't think of one good reason to be in one (not even sex; tried it a few times. Wasn't impressed.)

In any case, it's already been said, but if you don't want one, then don't be in one. It really is that simple.
 

launchpadmcqwak

New member
Dec 6, 2011
449
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why do single people always have an excuse for being single...like it is their conscious decision to be single. It wouldnt bug me if maybe just a few people admitted they are bad with members of the opposite sex.