Why is bullying still an issue?

[ConstantErasing]

As someone who attracted massive amounts of bullying for being quirky and friendly I want to address those people who seem to think the answer is just to "man up". Now the first thing that manning up brings to mind for me is the time when I was told by the staff at a summer camp I went to to "walk it off" after I broke my foot which causes me to equate the phrase with utter stupidity. I did eventually escape the bullying when I went into middle and especially high school and the bullies just didn't have enough time or circumstances to do any real bullying. However up until that point it was pretty bad. Not the worst bullying I have heard of and I wasn't seriously physically abused but it still really sucked. As a result of the bullying I turned into a harsh, sarcastic, and cynical anti-social and possibly the most emotionally stable person I know. While some of the changes were good the experience was brutal and I liked myself a lot better before I changed and it seems there are better ways to "toughen up".

Now as to how to actually stop it, well actually the elimination of time to socialize does a pretty good job of it in my school but that seems like a really bad solution to me. My schools have always been opposed to bullying and willing to crack down on the problem when asked to do so but the effectiveness of the crack downs is somewhat dubious and the school seems to have a real problem with spotting it. Admittedly the bullied student could try to seek help from the teacher but from my experience "tattling" is seen as bad by most kids and as a result a bullied kid will most likely try and simply deal with it instead of seeking help. In this case having good friends can help a lot but it still doesn't give much of a guarantee that the problem is on its way to being solved. However so long as the school itself is actively trying to stop bullying from occurring they simply need the teachers to get better at spotting it. In a school system where they aren't actively trying to stop it, as it seems many people belong to, then more awareness of the effects of bullying would be the real key and while I really hate to say this, Columbine was pretty effective for that. I am not saying I want another tragedy but that might be what it takes.

 

[Jegsimmons]

do we really have kids too chicken shit to axe kick a mother fucker like me and my pals did? dont they get at least 3 other nerd friends to end their asses?

seriously, i think kids who get bullied now a days ALLOW it to happen!


or allow the principle a shot gun with a few blanks in it (a cop is supervising too of course...and make it scarier) and have him have a student meeting in the gym/staduim what ever and say "If i hear about ANY of you little mother fuckers bullying, i will end your ass!" and then he fires a few shots in the air. that'll straighten the little shits. and for extra matter if they call his bluff, load it with bean bags.
hahahahahaha.....this is why i shouldn't work with kids.

 

[Callate]

A lot of the time the personal consequences for a teacher or staff member trying to intervene are more likely to be detrimental than the consequences of looking the other way. Just because a student is a junior sociopath doesn't mean he or she doesn't have parents who are willing to make a stink of it if their precious child is being "singled out".

But it's not a simple issue, and anyone who wants it to boil down to "they just need to stand up for themselves" really isn't contributing a damn thing except one of the world views that causes the problem to persist.

 

[RaikuFA]

do we really have kids too chicken shit to axe kick a mother fucker like me and my pals did? dont they get at least 3 other nerd friends to end their asses?

seriously, i think kids who get bullied now a days ALLOW it to happen!


or allow the principle a shot gun with a few blanks in it (a cop is supervising too of course...and make it scarier) and have him have a student meeting in the gym/staduim what ever and say "If i hear about ANY of you little mother fuckers bullying, i will end your ass!" and then he fires a few shots in the air. that'll straighten the little shits. and for extra matter if they call his bluff, load it with bean bags.
hahahahahaha.....this is why i shouldn't work with kids.

I didn't have friends growing up so I couldn't gang up on my bullies.

 

[funksobeefy]

The real issue stems from the incredibly complex background the bully has, not just the weak kid himself. Fix the issue at the start, not clean up every mess it makes

captcha: why do they put capital Os or 0s in it? makes me double check that damn thing every time

 

[Braedan]

If that kid kills himself/loses it over some bullying, I imagine he had a lot more problems than just bullying. Or was just extremely weak minded to begin with.

You Clearly have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

OT: I have no idea why schools do nothing. If another kid didn't come forward and tell me so I could avoid the situation, I would have been stabbed. What did the school do? Nothing. At all. Thanks, you can punish me, but you won't protect a 13 year old kid. Good job.

 

[Fudg40]

This stuff happens all over too. I grew up in a small community in Canada. The problem is that my family didn't fit in. So when people saw me they would attack me for my entire family. Early on I developed fears of social interaction and being noticed. This still goes on and I will willingly walk an extra 10-20 kilometers just to avoid people. Every time I reported this stuff my family would just shrug it off because that's the way things are, and the teachers did nothing either.

Now I am 6 foot 7 and in high school. Not a day goes by that I don't get called out over something. I avoid contact with people and try to be completely ignored. This is something that I will just have to deal with because no one wants to work and change this.

The sad part is I have to watch this happen to my younger brother too. He used to take part in sports and be very outgoing. Now he is quiet and spends most of his time alone like me. He gets the same stuff because this is how people were taught how to react, to put down those who are different.

I think that the only way to stop this in Canada at least, is to categorize bullying as a hate crime. That way we can go to someone and get results. The results of bullying are far worse than what we are told. When we were in elementary school we were taught that if you are bullied the worst that happens is that you get depressed, but that is not true. This is too hard a problem to be taken so lightly.

 

[JochemDude]

Why is bullying still an issue?

Because schools are not paid to resolve it... That's about it.

 

[Xanadu84]

The fact that millions of years of brutal, sadistic evolution drills the idea of killing at the slightest provocation, and yet that shows itself as bullying with very few deaths and a huge backlash is absolutely amazing.

You can't get rid of bullying though. We have come a long way, but we arn't perfect. How would you stop it? Zero Tolerance when a kid shows up after recess with bruises? Okay, but what about when a kid stands up to a bully, gives the bully a bloody nose, and then that kid gets the book thrown at him for self-defense? What about when a bully decides to screw with his target by accusing his target of bullying? What if a kid makes a mean comment on a bad day, and that screws over the kid? Do we plant a bug on every kid and put CCTV everywhere down to the bathrooms? Even if we became the thought police, how do you handle social bullies who ostracize and ignore the bullied? Unfortunately, bullying is too entrenched in life to be simply eradicated.

 

[Bob_Dobb]

Well I can't see why it is still an issue, but to solve it schools need to make MLP Studies mandatory from Grade 1 to 12.

 

[lonelymonkey]

Shit this is fucked up and i thought i was bullied badly im glad i dont live in the USA then again i dont think u guys have seen big until u have met a pacific islander and man do they hit hard

 

[drisky]

Fuck the Darwinists of this thread, fighting back doesn't do shit when you are the easy target. Any attempts I had to fight back were laughable, I was the smallest and weakest in my class, thats why I was bullied. I was routinely beaten by the guys and emotionally abused by the girls every good damn day. How the hell to you "man up" against 5 people twice your size. Quit being Nazis and stop treating human beings like a weakness to get crushed. Also these experiences didn't toughen me up for the real world. It did teach me empathy for other people, knowing what its like to have nothing. Seriously, I have so much hate of a good section of the escapist right now.

 

[Zing]

It's never going to stop, human nature.

Teach little boys how to be men and suck it up? Teach little girls to do whatever it is girls do?

This. People are too sensitive.

 

[Vykrel]

bullying is still an issue because bad parenting is still an issue. if the parents arent teaching the kids not to be little shitheads to other people, then they will have to learn on their own... or never learn.

 

[thelonewolf266]

In general people are ass-holes accept that and live your life the best you can, if enough people do that eventually it will change that's all you can really do.

 

[dancinginfernal]

I used to have a real problem with bullying, mostly because of my long hair and lanky build. As soon as I worked my way through Freshman year I somehow worked myself into a state of extremely high self-esteem that came with self-identification. I suppose it has to do with realizing sheeple populate the majority of High Schools.

I guess you can never stop bullying, but you can help your kids be better prepared for it. Raising your kids to be intelligent, adaptive, self-sufficient, yet not afraid to ask for assistance, and generally sure of themselves would be a start. Many parents in the area blame schools and the government for not raising their child correctly, or not, ahem, "providing a stable environment in the schools for our children." That part obviously being bullshit, since our school is near the top 10 for NH public schools.

There are plenty of other explanations that could explain why bullying has proceeded to such a ridiculous state of being problematic, and how they could be resolved. I could go on listing them, but I'd rather go to bed early tonight.

Also,

Snip

6 foot 7? I wouldn't dare make fun of someone that tall. We used to have a kid that was 6' 9" at my school and he was revered as a god for it.

I will never understand how people can alienate tall people, they're so awesome. You, sir, are an unappreciated king among ignorant serfs.

 

[Carbonyl]

Then its natural selection. Might be sick to say, but if they are weak willed to stay down, then STAY DOWN and die.

I am sorry but i feel as if im strong willed enough to go down in a blaze of glory. I'd sooner die trying to hurt the person trying to hurt me before killing myself.

Snake, you have no idea what you're talking about. It's obvious you've never felt so entirely helpless that you shut down and can't even bring yourself to resist believing what bullies say. When you're a kid, no one takes you seriously, no one gives you agency and you don't have any rights. When no one is your friend and no one is willing to back you up, when you don't conform to the normal standard of childhood behavior, your word is a good as dirt. No one listens to a kid and no one wants to. There was no one to help me. I lived in fear. I had no idea why people didn't like me and why they were hurting me and I thought it was my fault because I was small, and alone, and trapped. How was I supposed to contradict a grownup, who could I tell that I was bullied by the people I told on the bullies to? Between the ages of 4 and 10 you have about zero options for escaping that. By the time you get out of elementary school you have been so damaged by the experiences of your formative years that you don't even understand the idea of fighting back, you don't get to fight back, you're you and you're not worth fighting back for because it won't do ANYTHING. That's what you learn. You learn to shut up and sit down and TAKE IT. The ONLY reason I started to fight back was for my brother, I never would have done it for myself. I'm lucky, without that reason to fight I never would have, and I would have been one of those kids on the news.

Kids who are bullied are not the weakest. No one is the weakest and Social Darwinism is bullshit. No one can fight back against almost everyone that makes up their world, especially when they're 6. When the elementary school equivalent of the Third Reich decides you're enough standard deviations from the master race of coolness, no manner of advantageous characteristics will make it better. The problem is, if you get caught fighting back, you get beaten back down by the school or police, you're not allowed to fight and if you do you're the trouble-maker. Words will get you nowhere and you're not allowed to hit.

I had to fight kids on the way home from school, and no one was willing to tell anyone that the smallest girl in fifth grade just beat them and their six friends up. Little girls don't give boys black eyes.

Bullied kids aren't weak, they're afraid, and they're indoctrinated.

Honestly, This has more to do with being smarter than everyone else. Even at age 7, I could talk around the system. And when you are smarter, people tend to get irritated with you. I was never bullied. Why? Because the first time 3 kids tried to beat me up they ended up on the blacktop bleeding from their noses and fat lips. And I rubbed it in. They were beat and they felt it every time I spoke a word to them. I was not bigger or stronger than they were- I was smarter. Now, once you reach adulthood, this tends to even out a bit; the gap of intelligence becomes smaller, but it runs on the same principle. If you are taught correctly, and brought up correctly, then it will not be an issue. So every time I hear someone say they were bullied by person x, or psychologically scarred by person Y, I have little sympathy. If you make a display of violence against them, that is good. But if you hit them where they feel it psychologically- no one will ever bother. Fear is an emotion, the easier to invoke it is, the better off you will be.

Bullied kids ARE weak. They are made that way by the bullies. But they are not at the beginning. If they are smarter than the bullies at their own game, then there is never a problem.

Kid, I was and am still smarter than every one of those kids, I knew algebra at the age of five, I understood the structure of hemoglobin and the process of cell division when I was four. I was more eloquent, more observant, and knew more obscure insults. Not a single word I ever said made a modicum of difference, they laugh, they mocked. No one listens, things you say don't count, it's not like I could refute something as inane as "you're weird". You can't argue with tormentors, they laugh, because it hurts you and they won't take it seriously because it hurts you and they mock every damn word because it hurts you and your words are worthless. I know now that their parents were too busy getting their hair done or telling their kids to lose weight to love them, but I never played with them, I had one friend, my family life was great, and so was hers. I had no concept that the other kids lives were anything but perfect, how in the hell was I supposed to psychologically damage them? And even if I did know, I wouldn't have said anything, they'd just hate me more, make my life more miserable. I wasn't bullied by person X. I was bullied by 85% of the people I had come into contact with at that point in my life. They told me I was weak so I thought I was.

I was the smallest, thinnest, meekest girl in school and no one ever listened. But I wasn't weak. But I didn't know that.
There is no talking your way around the system when the system doesn't listen to a word you say.

 

[Carbonyl]

It's never going to stop, human nature.

Teach little boys how to be men and suck it up? Teach little girls to do whatever it is girls do?

This. People are too sensitive.

Not This. People are too insensitive.

 

[Blind Sight]

I'm more interested in hearing people's ideas to solve bullying. What ways to you suggest that can prevent this behaviour? What sort of punishments do you feel are necessary? Because I usually hear quite a lot of complaints about school bullying but not a lot of suggestions except for empty campaigns 'against bullying' that are completely out of context.

Of course, the way I solved bullying when I was in elementary school was to fight back, worked pretty well for me then. In high school, not so much, because usually there's a bit more of a gang-up. I solved that problem by waiting until after school when the guy who was bullying me was walking home alone, then usually hit him in the back of the head with something and kicked him around for a bit. He really wasn't willing to admit the guy who was a head shorter then him kicked his ass. Worked well for me, but it's definitely not the ideal situation. Bear in mind, I was pretty much borderline sociopathic in high school so I didn't really have an emotional damage as a result of bullying. I mostly saw it as an 'eye for an eye' sort of deal.

Different situations require different solutions, so I'm not saying that my method should be broadly applied. All I know is that I was bullied a lot in early elementary school, didn't really affect me then, doesn't really affect me now. Maybe it was because I fought back later on, maybe it's because I was willing to put it behind me, or maybe it's just because I couldn't give two shits about my hick hometown anymore, but my experiences didn't really have a massive effect on me. Maybe it was just my logic: elementary school sucked, high school sucked, nothing you could do about it, just suffer through and graduate. I don't know, I could just have a bizarre perspective on the subject.

But I'll be completely honest and say that bullying will not stop, regardless of what you try to do. The strong prey on the weak, much like in nature. It's pretty much a constant, it's not like bullying ends after school either. So like I said, I'm interested in hearing some solutions, because I basically think you're battling against inherent herd mentalities that are a product of human nature.

 

[the spud]

Sadly, but honestly, it won't stop. And coming as someone who was bullied, it is hard to say, but there is little you can do to comfort yourself other than keep remembering the fact that in 10 years they will more than likely be making significantly less than you. Or, you could always hack their FB account and fuck with their stuff like I did, not that I would condone such actions. That would be wrong