Why Twilight is nonsensical.

[Akai Shizuku]

Say what you will about Twilight, but when critics of the series say Stephanie Meyer contradicts her own plot, they aren't kidding. Allow me to explain.

<spoiler=Yes this is a real spoiler alert>Later in the series, Edward the sparkly "vampire" and Bella have a baby. Jacob pedo jokes aside, it makes no sense that Edward and Bella had this kid, because it makes no sense that Edward and Bella can have sex. You see, the Twilight "vampires" are supposed to be undead. This by itself is a worthy reason, but what I'm really getting at is the fact that they have no blood in their bodies, save that which they drink. If vampires have no blood in their bodies, how the fuck does Edward get a boner?

Can anyone answer this question, or am I right in assuming that the series is nonsensical bullshit?

 

[Sassafrass]

Holy hell, a Twilight topic that has been ignored!
Saints alive.[footnote]Course, my post is gonna change all that and the hatred will enter but...whatever[/footnote]

OT: He either uses a penis pump to get it up or it is a massive over-sight by the author and one more thing she will be murdered for. Possibly.

 

[RMcD94]

How'd you know he needs one?

 

[the_pleasure_is_mine]

Thumb it in... takes longer... still effective in baby making.

 

[Rakkana]

Does she say that about the blood? I don't remember her doing so.

 

[Pimppeter2]

I'm more concerned about why you spend your free time thinking about his penis.

 

[Betancore]

Since Edward is meant to be sparkly granite, maybe he's constantly hard. What I want to know is how his semen is even alive after all these years. The series is nonsensical bullshit.

 

[TheStickman]

Rigor mortis? XP

 

[Abedeus]

Thumb it in... takes longer... still effective in baby making.

Dead bodies don't produce sperm. Even if they did, those would die faster than new ones were created.

 

[Eekaida]

The vampires sparkle.
The warewolves aren't warewolves, they're just 'shapeshifters.'
The heroine is a complete nonentity.

Need I say more?

 

[the_pleasure_is_mine]

Thumb it in... takes longer... still effective in baby making.

Dead bodies don't produce sperm. Even if they did, those would die faster than new ones were created.

He's a vampire... he has undead sperm

 

[wolf92]

Say what you will about Twilight, but when critics of the series say Stephanie Meyer contradicts her own plot, they aren't kidding. Allow me to explain.

<spoiler=Yes this is a real spoiler alert>Later in the series, Edward the sparkly "vampire" and Bella have a baby. Jacob pedo jokes aside, it makes no sense that Edward and Bella had this kid, because it makes no sense that Edward and Bella can have sex. You see, the Twilight "vampires" are supposed to be undead. This by itself is a worthy reason, but what I'm really getting at is the fact that they have no blood in their bodies, save that which they drink. If vampires have no blood in their bodies, how the fuck does Edward get a boner?

Can anyone answer this question, or am I right in assuming that the series is nonsensical bullshit?

It's nonsensical bullshit

 

[Drakmeire]

he always has one I guess, if your dead your body goes into a state called rigor mortis where your body hardens as the blood stops flowing, the reason twilight is nonsensical is because it spends a whole bunch of time building up this giant vampire battle and then everyone just sits around talking for 40 pages and saying "OH look a cute baby! lets not fight."
and that Edward and Bella clearly have nothing in common or anything to talk about. EVER!

 

[Johanthemonster666]

I've already mentioned this (many years ago) that Twilght Vampires have to body fluid, therefor no sperm.

 

[Harlemura]

I'm more concerned about why you spend your free time thinking about his penis.

I think this is a more interesting point of conversation than anything Twilight related.

Heh... "point"... penis joke... shut up, I'm funny!

 

[Shockolate]

Does it say anywhere in the books/movies that said the Twilight "Vampires" are technically undead? Or are you trying to hold fast to older versions of vampire?

Because, you know, the older ones burn up in the sun, whereas the twilight ones sparkle. She changed one thing, why can't she change another?

Then again, I might be completely wrong. I haven't read the books/watched the movies, I'm just throwing it out there.

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

It's probably quite difficult to attempt to vindicate the various problems of Twilight, or indeed many fictional books. Stephenie Meyer says she didn't know anything about conventional vampires, so I assume this was overlooked.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Rigor mortis? XP

.....This would mean that he never goes soft.

By god..... Assemble the Extraordinary League of Manly Men.... I think we've solved the reason as to why women love Twilight.

 

[Akai Shizuku]

Rigor mortis? XP

.....This would mean that he never goes soft.

By god..... Assemble the Extraordinary League of Manly Men.... I think we've solved the reason as to why women love Twilight.

Undead sparkly dicks which never go soft?

 

[Direwolf750]

VAMPIRES ARE NOT SPARKLY. A few notable examples: Vlad the Impaler (AKA Count Dracula), Kane, Angel, Blade, Nosferatu, seriously, this woman wrote a crappy book that doesn't deserve any of the credit it's getting, its a crappy romance novel about magic fairy princesses that have a thing for blood