Woman's worries
- Thread starter GestaltEsper
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I'm disabled with no money coming in, my husband?s self employed with no jobs coming in, yeah mainly it?s money worries, but if I am, we?ll be happy and find a way to make it workGestaltEsper said:
Tho if it?s a boy I?m naming him Sterling! (second choice, I wanted to call him Garrus!)
hmmm
have tried the relationship thing only once....I think he was in for love..I was just along for the ride
aside from not being social I actually dont feel like Im some freak who will never get a BF and Im not freaking out about being single...I just think Im a terrible girlfreind and right now dont care
though because of lack of experience I dont really know what kind of guys I would like (aside form sharing similar interests of coarse)...I guess the one turn off its "issues"
have tried the relationship thing only once....I think he was in for love..I was just along for the ride
aside from not being social I actually dont feel like Im some freak who will never get a BF and Im not freaking out about being single...I just think Im a terrible girlfreind and right now dont care
though because of lack of experience I dont really know what kind of guys I would like (aside form sharing similar interests of coarse)...I guess the one turn off its "issues"
Meh...Vault101 said:
everyone has issues. The difference is that some people have issues they're mature enough to accept and mostly handle themselves, though a little help never hurts, while other people have issues they fully expect and even demand their partner to somehow fix.
But nothing wrong with being single, in my limited experience it's those who've constantly been in relationships all their life are quite often compensating for their own inability to handle their issues by constantly having a partner around to do it for them. Personally happily single and planning to remain so for a while more, though I'll see what life throws my way.
and aside form what society/media says I actually LIKE being single... I mean its like I find it draining to have to "entertain" somone who wants to invade my personal space as much as they possibly can (then again thats only one experience) but yeah being single doesnt make you some kind of freak...Hagi said:
anyway by "issues" I ment somone who was like Bi-polar had mental issue was seriously depressed or whatever..but you put it well as long as one can "handle" their issues (mabyw one of my issues is being A-social and reluctant to "get out there")
because I well aware that I canot help people, like even of somone relitivley normal is upset Im absolutley uselesss, I have no Idea what to do/say...the way I see it the problem will run its coarse and nothing I say will make a difference, so yeah I cant say some magic word thats going to make everything ok
I think Ill find somone when Im ready
Heh, I know what you mean about "entertaining" people. Pretending to be interested when somebody tells the same story, that wasn't very interesting the first time, for the fourth time is not my thing. Or at least that's what I think you mean. Or maybe that's just me, it's easily solved by remaining indoors 75% of the time anyway.Vault101 said:
As for helping people, I don't really think they require any special words. Just somebody listening and letting them get it off their chest. Possibly making dinner or whatever for them so they can spend an evening not worrying about that. Problems are a lot easier to handle if there's somebody there to hear you out and create just a little bit of breathing room by making sure you don't have to worry about other things for an hour or so.
Boys are confusing and weird. and you can never get more sex without sounding like a slut or a nympho >.<
That's the thing... 'issues' come with experience, and pretty much everyone has them. More appropriate questions would be, how much to these 'issues' affect them, how well are they dealt with, and how much of a problem can they become?Vault101 said:
Now, seeing as how we're the diameter of the planet apart, I doubt we'll end up dating, but I have more 'issues' than you can shake a stick at and yet I like to think I make good 'boyfriend material'. These 'issues' that I've accumulated through my shit-for-life experiences make me as such. Sure, I've been through a lot that has left me thoroughly weakened and hollow (for lack of a better way of putting it), but I'm still capable of standing on my own two feet without the need to go whining to anyone else, least of all a potential partner. It's fucking hard for me, but I'm both trying and managing.
OT: Anyway, seeing as I'm a guy 'n/a', though my ex-girlfriend has more worries than I do, not least the inescapable societal label of 'freak' (or similar) over her head for reasons both physical and mental.
EDIT:
Particularly this one...mental_looney said:
yeah that is true...just telling somone is pretty much what helps you,(mabye I just look at it too logically...like the other person is asking me for a solution)Hagi said:
my thing is most of my leasure activited are solitary...so it was kind of like, ok Its been great seeing you...but can you leave now? I wanna play Fallout 3 (I know...forever alone
) we arnt perfectSckizoBoy said:
but Im talking about serious issues...mental or substance abuse for example that are toxic...that have a negative effect on the other person
like to a certain extent you shouldnt make the other person suffer for your problems..within reason of coarse (any good relationship people will suport each other)
like for example if somone is going to attempt suicide every month or so...sorry I cant deal with that
it also has to do with the fact that Im not that kind of person who can deal with that kind of thing
You can always hope that the next Fallout will have co-op.Vault101 said:yeah that is true...just telling somone is pretty much what helps you,(mabye I just look at it too logically...like the other person is asking me for a solution)
my thing is most of my leasure activited are solitary...so it was kind of like, ok Its been great seeing you...but can you leave now? I wanna play Fallout 3 (I know...forever alone
And, logically speaking, upset people are generally at least a bit irrational so the logical thing to do would be to treat their questions as such, a bit irrational. From a logical point of view that is....
So you should probably be even more logical. Or you can always hope for Logic Co-Processor [http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Intelligence_Implant] to be invented soon. Though if you're going to go for that I'd recommend getting the Empathy Synthesizer and the Probability Calculator as well.
Man... real life seriously needs to get it's game on. Nuclear science is lagging way behind....
trollnystan said:
i can cook, i'm quite funny, i'm also a member of the grammar police (especially when there, their and they're are used in the wrong context) and you being crazy would make things all the more fun. doubt we'll bump into each other in the street, though, seeing we live in different countries
Ah, that's fair enough (clarification). While nothing as bad as what you've indicated, needless to say, accompanying me is a great deal of emotional baggage not easily handled at the best of times. Many will question my mental frailty, but I don't disguise my effort to deal with it. However, I do agree that problems should not be dumped on other people... when they have little intention of sorting it out themselves, yeah... I get what you're saying. But, being someone who had to see a loved one through PTSD, you'll understand where emotional 'issues' can be severe (as an understatement).Vault101 said:
I was talking about you not being razy, first off. Second, I completely get it. Drunk people are very rarely fun to hang out with when you're sober, and I'd imagine it's worse if all they wanna do is furk. I also get the seeing your dad in drunks thing, my mom used to have an abusive drunk ex and I get the same way, and, again, I've also got Depression.trollnystan said:
Here's the thing though. You have to change up your scene. The best way to help with depression is finding something you like to do and meeting others along the way. I'm not even talking about dating. Hell, if you somehow don't make friends doing what you did at least you'll have fun. I did sword fighting and archery. No friends, but archery was one of the most relaxing things I've ever done, and sword fighting helped me realize just how much ass I can kick. At the end of the day just getting yourself out there is incredibly important.
f you're nervous there's this all-natural pill I take called St. John's Wart, works incredibly well.
You don't like to cook? But cooking is so much fun! A man who can't cook is like a fish that can't swim.trollnystan said:
I'm ever so slightly trapped in my current relationship.
She has nowhere to stay other than my place, so she kind of needs me.
I don't particularly mind, but I would've preferred taking it slow, and having the option to end things if I ever feel I need it.
She has nowhere to stay other than my place, so she kind of needs me.
I don't particularly mind, but I would've preferred taking it slow, and having the option to end things if I ever feel I need it.