Worlds Worst Excuses

[Aac18]

[Search bar approved]

So after reading this on the news http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/article.aspx?cp-documentid=149079710 I was astonished, I thought "how the hell can someone be that stupid?". After I had recovered from my disbelief I decided to pose this question to my fellow escapists, what is the single worst excuse you've seen someone making/heard of someone making?

 

[The Salty Vulcan]

"Its my first day"

 

[Zani]

"It was like that when I got here."

 

[space_oddity]

"How else am i supposed to get the toast out?"

 

[walls of cetepedes]

"I was drunk."

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

"I got explosive diarrhea!"

 

[renner-08]

"umm.... you did it"

 

[USSR]

"..the objects told me to do it o.o.."

 

[headshotcatcher]

'You're not weird, you're special!'

Eventhough it's never happened to me, just, dayumn

 

[ghalkhsdkssakgh]

She was kissing me!

 

[AmrasCalmacil]

"...No."

 

[wewontdie11]

"How was I supposed to know cat hair was flammable?"

To paraphrase somebody paraphrasing Brandon Novak, to get out of owing somebody money:
Guy 1: "Hey you got that £50 you owe me?"
Guy 2: "Since when did I owe you £50?"
Guy 2: "Hey this guy thinks I owe him £40."
Guy 2: "I don't owe you £30"
Guy 2: "Why would I owe you £20?"

And so on until they owe you money...

 

[Stevepinto3]

Well maybe if they made the thing right, it wouldn't have broke when I used it!

 

[Jedoro]

"Oh, I didn't feel like it."

When I hear that at work, I just want to cut somebody...

 

[Aac18]

To paraphrase somebody paraphrasing Brandon Novak, to get out of owing somebody money:
Guy 1: "Hey you got that £50 you owe me?"
Guy 2: "Since when did I owe you £50?"
Guy 2: "Hey this guy thinks I owe him £40."
Guy 2: "I don't owe you £30"
Guy 2: "Why would I owe you £20?"

And so on until they owe you money...

If that actually worked it would be hilarious.

 

[Lowbreed]

"you say potato I say potata."

 

[Bofus Teefus]

What, don't tell me you've never caught your cat downloading child porn. They're sneaky like that...

While being given a ticket-
Cop- "The posted speed limit is 45mph."
Bofus Some jackass I heard about- "Well you can't believe everything you read."

I also had a pack of Donut Gems on the passenger seat. I thought I was being nice in offering him one. The cop wasn't amused. Motorcycle cops...they're just bitter because their bikes don't have cup holders.

 

[ScarlettRage]

dog ate my homework...

what makes you think i did it?

 

[Arkhangelsk]

- Where's my money?
- A bird took it.

Cookie for reference.

 

[Golden Gryphon]

Any excuse that involves animals is automatically terrible no matter how true it is.