Worst Pick-up lines

[Chaos-Spider]

"If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability."

"How about I help you finish that dream you were having about me?"

"I'm sensing a very sensual disturbance in the force. Prepare for ship-to-ship intimacy."

All from Captain Zapp Brannigan. You could probably just link a list of his quotes and /thread.

If someone tries them in real life, that would be something to see.

OT: I saw one in an youtube video that went something like "I just lost my pants. Could I get into yours?"

 

[WakeTheDead1]

Can i smell your vagina?

*NO!*

oh... must be your feet then...

 

[BennoTheDutch]

"Have you ever had an Australian Kiss before?"
- "No, what is that?"
"It's like a French Kiss, only down under"

or

According to my watch you're not wearing any panties. *looks at watch and shakes it* Oh wait, it's 20 minutes fast.

Nerdy special:
You just changed my software into hardware.

EDIT: Oh, got another one:
"Hey! Ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?"
"Uh, no..."
*pulls pockets inside out*
"Wanna try?"

 

[Wintermoot]

is your father a farmer because thos are some nice mellons

 

[Muffinthraka]

"Got any raisens? No? How about a date?"

And I wake up in a skip

 

[Palademon]

I'd personally would love to find someone who nerdy pick ups work on.
One of my favourites:
"I think we've got chemistry, so according to biology we should get physical."

 

[Muffinthraka]

"I like my women like I like my wine.
Light and bubbly



and straight from the bottle!!!"





Aaaaaaaand I'm back in the skip.

 

[KarumaK]

"Get in the car."

Or

"See, I didn't want to use the restraints but you had to be difficult."

 

[Hwoof]

Two for the mathematicians

"Hey babe, could i be the derivative of your function? That way i'd be tangent to your curves"

or how about

"I wish i was the integral of your function, that way i'd be the area underneath your curves"

 

[Funkysandwich]

No means yes.

Yes means anal.

 

[Soxafloppin]

My personal favourite that actually worked is "This is really awkward...kiss?"

 

[Mr Pantomime]

I like my Women like I like my Whiskey. Two years old and unopened.

I actually said that to a girl at a party. She wanted to hear a joke. Started looking at me funny =\

 

[Chesterfield Snapdragon McFisticuffs]

"Give me a blowjob or I'll set you on fire"

 

[_tinned_magpie_]

I used to think no guy ever actually used these lines. Then I started Uni and was proved very wrong.

The worst one? Probably when some guy grabbed my wrist and said 'You're not leaving me'.

He failed to realise that in grabbing me, it brought his balls in range of my heels.

Also:

Random Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?

Me: -cracks up laughing-

Guy: Yeah... I lost a bet.

 

[Cerrida]

Worst one I ever had said to me:

I was working at a grocery store and this 40-year-old fat guy looked at his receipt and said, "Oh, you forgot something."
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry, what was it?"
Him: "Your phone number."
I smiled and laughed and was thoroughly creeped out the rest of the day.

 

[Slythernite]

Worst one I ever had said to me:

I was working at a grocery store and this 40-year-old fat guy looked at his receipt and said, "Oh, you forgot something."
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry, what was it?"
Him: "Your phone number."
I smiled and laughed and was thoroughly creeped out the rest of the day.

O.O I would be terrified!

OT: "Do you have any Irish in you? No? Do you want some?"

 

[Queen Michael]

"Wanna kiss?" *afterwards* "Wanna make out?" I admit it worked when a girl I'd never met before used it on me, but let's be frank; it's not a great line.