Worst puns ever!

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ByronicHero7

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Jun 18, 2008
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It was something from Nintendo Power and it showed a picture of someone getting hit by a trash can. The quote next to the picture said "He has a CAN do attitude!"
 

Sennz0r

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May 25, 2008
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Shivari said:
Sennz0r said:
Shivari said:
Sennz0r said:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.
I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.
I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.
I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.
That's it, I can't remember any others from Scrubs :p
Go ahead if you got another and trump me in Scrubs knowledge, but do know that I hold the power of all the great songs from the "my musical" episode!
 

Simalacrum

Resident Juggler
Apr 17, 2008
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Wraithsight said:
Sennz0r said:
Shivari said:
Sennz0r said:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.
I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.
I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.
I was going to be a Surgeon, but I just couldn't cut it.
I was going to be a juggler, but i couldn't find the balls.
 

Ago Iterum

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Dec 31, 2007
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Phantom2595 said:
Ago Iterum said:
The_root_of_all_evil said:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Hahahaaa! Nice one. Almost beats mine :p (I didn't invent it of course, I wish!)

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
I've heard that one a hundred times now thanks to Fallout 3
Never played it. Damn...

Oh well. On another note, did you hear about the man who got his whole left half cut off?

He's all right now.
 

Shivari

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Jun 17, 2008
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Sennz0r said:
Shivari said:
Sennz0r said:
Shivari said:
Sennz0r said:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.
I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.
I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.
I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.
That's it, I can't remember any others from Scrubs :p
Go ahead if you got another and trump me in Scrubs knowledge, but do know that I hold the power of all the great songs from the "my musical" episode!
You know, I was gonna have her bring you some chicken, but it was foul.

Trumped!
 

Sennz0r

New member
May 25, 2008
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"Surely you must be joking?"

"I'm not joking, and don't call me surely."
 

SovietSecrets

iDrink, iSmoke, iPill
Nov 16, 2008
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http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=puns dunno if anyone else reads his stuff, but i find it kinda funny

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. Not sure if this is a pun, yet its pretty bad that i had to laugh.
 

Sennz0r

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May 25, 2008
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Shivari said:
Sennz0r said:
Shivari said:
Sennz0r said:
Shivari said:
Sennz0r said:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.
I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.
I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.
I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.
That's it, I can't remember any others from Scrubs :p
Go ahead if you got another and trump me in Scrubs knowledge, but do know that I hold the power of all the great songs from the "my musical" episode!
You know, I was gonna have her bring you some chicken, but it was foul.

Trumped!
I admit defeat and applaud you :p

But mark my words, when we're having a Scrubs sing-off I will destroy you! :D
 

zen5887

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Jan 31, 2008
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I got some bad cheese once

"Ughh.. Old English.. More like Mold English!"
"Lachlan that is horible"
"What? Too Cheesy?"
 

xitel

Assume That I Hate You.
Aug 13, 2008
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I was going to be a cook, but I thought it was distasteful.
 

Da_Schwartz

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Jul 15, 2008
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::TOP TEN WINNERS OF THE INTERNATIONAL PUN CONTEST::

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.
The Stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
The one turns to the other and
says, 'Dam!'

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and
heat it, too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron. The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6.A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked
them to disperse. But why they asked, as they moved off.
'Because,' he said,
'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.

7. A woman had twins and gave them up for adoption.
One of them went
to a family in Egypt, who named him Ahmal.
The other was takin in by a
family in Spain; they named him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture
of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.

8.A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they
opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious
thug in town to 'persuade' them to close.Hugh beat up the friars and
trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so.... thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9.Mahatma Gandhi , as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.He also ate very little,
which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from
bad breath.This made him (Get ready...)) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10.And, finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends,
with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

And also:

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2.Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was
resisting a rest.

3.Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now

4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

5. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

6. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

7. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

8. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet concrete.
He became a hardened criminal

9.Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with
stalking.

10.We'll never run out of math teachers because they always
multiply.

11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

12.The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on
shaky ground.

13. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

15. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

16. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)

I love Puns
 
Feb 13, 2008
19,429
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Shivari said:
Sennz0r said:
Shivari said:
Sennz0r said:
Shivari said:
Sennz0r said:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.
I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.
I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.
I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.
That's it, I can't remember any others from Scrubs :p
Go ahead if you got another and trump me in Scrubs knowledge, but do know that I hold the power of all the great songs from the "my musical" episode!
You know, I was gonna have her bring you some chicken, but it was foul.

Trumped!
That's a poultry win, are you just egging it on now? Or do you want to talk more turkey?
 

Sennz0r

New member
May 25, 2008
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When the cannibal showed up late for lunch, they gave him the cold shoulder.