Would you date a former cheater?

[disgruntledgamer]

I'm not entirely sure how I'm being `judgemental`.
I do not wish bad things on ex cheaters, I do not begrudge them finding happiness.
Ex cheaters are not queueing up to date me, and I am not spitting on them.

If you aren't happy with your partner, you should leave them. Not cheat. If you do, I won't wanna date you.
Of course there are exceptions.
Of course people make mistakes.

Doesn't matter.
Dating is not a democracy. People get to draw their own lines, and this is mine.

So if you found out your boyfriend cheated on someone 5 years ago would you care, would it change your opinion about him? Point being if I was dating someone and I found out they cheated on someone, I probably wouldn't care especially if I knew the guy was a complete jerk and deserved it. Sometimes people create a situation where they get bit in the a$$ and deserve it, I try to hold judgment off until I know the whole story.

 

[Phasmal]

So if you found out your boyfriend cheated on someone 5 years ago would you care, would it change your opinion about him? Point being if I was dating someone and I found out they cheated on someone, I probably wouldn't care especially if I knew the guy was a complete jerk and deserved it. Sometimes people create a situation where they get bit in the a$$ and deserve it, I try to hold judgment off until I know the whole story.

Considering me and boyfriend have been together for nearly four years now damn straight it would change my opinion of him, cause he would have lied about it.

I think, if your boyfriend is a jerk, you leave them, not cheat.
In my opinion, there is always a better way.

I'm not the only person who said no so I'm a bit confused as to why you took an issue with my post.
I am not missing out by not dating excheaters, and excheaters are not missing out by not dating me.

 

[disgruntledgamer]

Considering me and boyfriend have been together for nearly four years now damn straight it would change my opinion of him, cause he would have lied about it.

I think, if your boyfriend is a jerk, you leave them, not cheat.
In my opinion, there is always a better way.

I'm not the only person who said no so I'm a bit confused as to why you took an issue with my post.
I am not missing out by not dating excheaters, and excheaters are not missing out by not dating me.

Still say you're being judge mental and this is coming from a non-cheater, and maybe he only lied because he knew you'd spaz about it. I'm not justifying it by any means and would be a complete deal beaker for me, but to say you'd hold something over someones head that happened over 5 years ago that had nothing to do with you seems petty to say the least.

 

[Phasmal]

Still say you're being judge mental and this is coming from a non-cheater, and maybe he only lied because he knew you'd spaz about it. I'm not justifying it by any means and would be a complete deal beaker for me, but to say you'd hold something over someones head that happened over 5 years ago that had nothing to do with you seems petty to say the least.

*sigh*
Yes, maybe my real boyfriend hypothetically lied about his hypothetical past cheating to stop me hypothetically freaking out.

OR
Maybe you're just trying to twist something reasonable out of something unreasonable.
I don't date excheaters.
The end.

 

[disgruntledgamer]

OR
Maybe you're just trying to twist something reasonable out of something unreasonable.
I don't date excheaters.
The end.

Wow. Just wow that's just so..... so.... so... Forget it can't say it, not worth it, think what you want hun.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

I don't think the main issue has got anything much to do with addicts or party girls... unfaithful people tend to just be that - unfaithful. Most of the time, they start new - sexual - relationships before they ended the old one, and there's a higher chance of them just using people to stay... well, lubed up and in active sexual predator mode.

It doesn't matter if it's a male or a female doing it, most of the time they really only cause pain & despair... or worse. Sometimes, the good life can last for years, and then you find out that there's something been going on behind your back for... well, years. All it takes is one unfaithful dude to bring the best girly friends apart, and all it takes is one unfaithful lady friend to blow up entire families.

My stance is to steer well clear of these walking social minefields, as they tend to cripple a whole bunch of people, never limiting the damage to just one sorry horny ass.

So... yeah, my answer would have to be no, as in hell no!

 

[joshuaayt]

Sure, if I liked them enough. They haven't blown it with me yet, and they've been upfront about it- I'll definitely give them a chance.

Honestly, for me, having my partner cheat on me isn't an immediate deal-breaker. First I'd want to know why- if it was just for kicks, then, yeah, clearly they don't care if they hurt me, fuck 'em. But I'd at least try to make it work, otherwise.

 

[mechashiva77]

Well, I'm a polygamous person so cheating really wouldn't bother me. It would bother me if my partner expected me to only have sex with him, while he could have sex with anyone else.

 

[Phasmal]

OR
Maybe you're just trying to twist something reasonable out of something unreasonable.
I don't date excheaters.
The end.

Wow. Just wow that's just so..... so.... so... Forget it can't say it, not worth it, think what you want hun.

Well now that I have your permission(!).

Your unjudgmental label would stick better if you didn't judge people for drawing their own lines.

 

[Squilookle]

Or a former Other woman/man? Or someone who formerly betrayed their BFF by stealing their significant other or whatever? (More accurately, would you be willing to be their friend or best friend even?)

This is something I was reminded of wondering what with all the relationship threads I've been seeing. But mostly inspired by the deal breakers one.

And speaking of those, would anyone date a person who used to formerly have or practice said deal breaker? Former party girls, former addicts, former whatever?


Just curious.

I had to read that about six times to fully understand all those parts. Maybe that's just me, but an example would have helped all that make a massive deal more sense. Not to mention it would answer the burning question of how one gets to find out that information about someone in the first place.

 

[hooblabla6262]

I used to cheat a lot. Not because I didn't love my girlfriends, and not even because of the sex. I just love the attention I get from woman. Love to be loved.
It's something I tell every girl before making the transition to exclusive dating.
Sometimes I would even tell them right after they told me they wouldn't date anyone who cheated.

They all say the same thing in the end.
"Well, you're different. You're the exception."

Some people are so easily charmed.

My advice: Stay away from cheaters.
People rarely change.

 

[disgruntledgamer]

OR
Maybe you're just trying to twist something reasonable out of something unreasonable.
I don't date excheaters.
The end.

Wow. Just wow that's just so..... so.... so... Forget it can't say it, not worth it, think what you want hun.

Well now that I have your permission(!).

Your unjudgmental label would stick better if you didn't judge people for drawing their own lines.

I find it more of judging people who are stubborn and unwilling to look at the complete picture, or won't let any new information disturb their train of thought, in their little bubble. I've debated enough Creationist and Right Wing nut jobs to know when I've hit an unmovable wall.

 

[Phasmal]

OR
Maybe you're just trying to twist something reasonable out of something unreasonable.
I don't date excheaters.
The end.

Wow. Just wow that's just so..... so.... so... Forget it can't say it, not worth it, think what you want hun.

Well now that I have your permission(!).

Your unjudgmental label would stick better if you didn't judge people for drawing their own lines.

I find it more of judging people who are stubborn and unwilling to look at the complete picture, or won't let any new information disturb their train of thought, in their little bubble. I've debated enough Creationist and Right Wing nut jobs to know when I've hit an unmovable wall.

Haha.
It does beg the question why you started this thread if you were just gonna get all flapped if someone actually said `no`.

It's still confusing to me why you actually care.
This is not going to affect me in any way. I already have a boyfriend so who I will or will not date is really not relevant, and it's really not uncommon for people not to want to date someone who has cheated before.
If you feel that makes me bad or judgemental, well... I couldn't care less.

Still confused why you're not arguing with everyone else who said `no`.

 

[In Search of Username]

Well if they regretted it. Not if they were likely to do it again.

 

[Angie7F]

Sure.
I would be aware of the rise, but then again like in the bible, you only have the right to stone someone if you haven't sinned in yourself (very paraphrased but you know what I mean).

 

[game-lover]

I had to read that about six times to fully understand all those parts. Maybe that's just me, but an example would have helped all that make a massive deal more sense. Not to mention it would answer the burning question of how one gets to find out that information about someone in the first place.

Um... I'm not sure what I could use as an example. It seemed pretty straightforward to me. Did you want a link to the thread that inspired this question?

As for how you'd find out? Well, that could be anyway. It's not really relevant to the question. I guess I could change it to "would you continue to date someone who revealed themselves to have cheated in the past?" Adds up to the same question, I figure.

Haha.
It does beg the question why you started this thread if you were just gonna get all flapped if someone actually said `no`.

Actually... that was me. *finger waves*



For myself, I lean more toward the no camp than yes at the moment...

 

[Phasmal]

Haha.
It does beg the question why you started this thread if you were just gonna get all flapped if someone actually said `no`.

Actually... that was me. *finger waves*



For myself, I lean more toward the no camp than yes at the moment...

Oh pardon me, disgruntled started the other one. Whoops.

I have nothing against former cheaters, but apparently I am somehow punishing them or judging them by not wanting to date them.
I'm just evil like that.

 

[Zulnam]

I don't date a woman based on her past, but based on her present-day set of skills.

If you know what I mean...

 

[The Tibballs]

Personally I don't mind if someone has cheated before, we all make mistakes and what's past is past and the other thing is if someones going to cheat on you they're going do it regardless of whether they cheated before, simple as that.

 

[Sarah Frazier]

Assuming I was single, I'd be hesitant to get into anything serious with someone who has cheated multiple times recently. They can say they want to change, but they could have said that same thing to others. We could be friends, but more than that will take time and trust.