Would you give up your name?

[BENZOOKA]

It's an interesting topic.

My last name isn't that popular. Less than 2500 who have that now. Still, I've met several people who have it, but I am in no, or very distant relation of. And while I am quite accustomed to it, and it doesn't sound bad at all, I'm not clinging to it with my teeth. My father's side of the family isn't that great, opposed to my mother's, which really is. It also goes really well with my first name, which I would never give up, nor change, because it's awesome, pretty rare. It comes from an oold native mythology, and is a magical artifact there, that everyone desires. How many people have that? Right.

Actually, I have thought of changing my name (at least fine-tuning my middle name), but there have been none really good ones that I've come up with so far.

I think I could give up my name when going official, if my future wife had an awesome surname, and it wouldn't hurt if she'd want that a lot. But when I think about it, none of the girlfriends I've had, or girls that I've slept with, don't have such a surname.

But in the end, really going through with it, has a slight emasculating tone on it. I'm not macho, nor egoistic nor traditional/conservative at all, but it's just that rare thing to do. But it really would all depend on the girl. And her name. And if it would go well with my first name.

 

[Nuke_em_05]

My wife took my name. She wanted to, I guess. We're kind-of traditional, but if she didn't want to, she wouldn't have had to. I wouldn't have taken hers, but that's because my last name sounds like "Nuke'em", which is awesome. Hers was Davey, which inspired cruel people, such as myself, to randomly sing "Davey Crockett". So, if I was Davey, and she was "Nuke'em", I would have taken hers.

I've kind-of been a fan of the Spanish system, two surnames. Now they allow maternal surnames to be first, so you still have to decide which comes first, I guess. Or, have your name run back tons of generations, that would be both pretty cool and pretty monotonous.

 

[Whitewillow]

No, and I wouldn't expect them to change theirs either. I know of two couples who took the letters from both of their last names and put them together to create an entirely new last name. I'm not sure if I'd do that, but it's an intriguing idea.

 

[Powereaver]

At times of my life id love to change my entire name let alone my last name... i used to have a real hatred of my life and everything that went with it.. so i thought the best way to fix that would have a complete name change and a complete new life

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Depends. It would be a matter of how important it is to the person, to me, and what the exchange or compromise is. It's certainly not off the table, but there would need to be something else as part of the deal.

If my circumstances were different, I would've, sure. I already had a body of work under my maiden name when I got married, and I would've lost a lot of professional traction if I changed it. I changed my name the first time I got married, and it was hell to get it back when I got divorced. (You'd think it would be the other way around.)

I'm inclined to find it true, actually. Our society does have that niggling tradition thing still hanging on, and the tradition in question likes women to change their names for their men, and doesn't like divorce. It's possible to be married within three days, but divorce can take the better part of a year just to get to the point of paperwork going through, if not longer. It is fairly ridiculous.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

I'm think I'm more attached to my selection of usernames than my real name, I figure my brothers and sisters have procreated enough and I have no responsibility to keep the family name moving on, and I'm also adopted, so while I've got a lot of love for my parents, I'm not feeling an attachment to the name.

 

[babinro]

I would if it were important to her.

I don't feel like I'd lose any sense of lineage or anything by doing so. To me it's just a last name.

 

[ramboondiea]

although my name has cause me a fair few problems in the past, I wouldn't want to give it up, its mine, and I have had it as long as I can remember haha,

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

I'd take which ever sounds better.

 

[soren7550]

Yeah, since I'm kind of traditional like that, and because I hate my last name.

But if his last name is Penissmith, Cockgobbler, or something stupid/horrible like that, yeah, not taking it then. Maybe we could both change our last names to something better/different in that case.

 

[Krantos]

Well, I am married, so...

My wife kept her name when we got married. I honestly didn't care that much and offered to take her name if she wanted. She didn't, so we have different last names.

It does lead to some confusion however. A lot of times people will see we have different names and assume we're still dating. I've had mail come to me addressed to Mr. [wife's last name].

And it took my family about 2 years to stop addressing everything. Mr and Mrs. [my last name].

It's all good now though. She finally gets to have Dr. [her last name] on everything.

edit: Capthca: You're Welcome. That's nice, captcha, but I'm not feeling particularly grateful to you...

 

[Daveman]

Nope. And I wouldn't expect them to give up theirs.

The trickier question is what do you name the kids.

Personally I have both my parents surnames in my name, even though my mum gave up hers, as well as a middle name. So it's like having two middle names, which makes my name sound posher than it should be. Especially as my middle name ALSO sounds like a surname. So it's like having three surnames.

 

[Something Amyss]

I don't like my surname to begin with.

I changed my name the first time I got married, and it was hell to get it back when I got divorced. (You'd think it would be the other way around.)

Not with how pro-marriage and anti-divorce this culture is. >.>

 

[chadachada123]

Well, it's me and my sister, and I imagine she'll take her future husband's name, leaving me to carry on the family name.

I would very much prefer that my children take my own name, but it's not an absolute necessity, just a big preference.

Fun fact: One explanation for this behavior is that, with women, it's really damn obvious if a child is yours or not, given that you *gave birth to it.* With men, however, the name is the only reassurance aside from testing that the man is actually the father of the children he is raising. The argument doesn't extend to spouses, but it does apply for children. In that sense, we should pick a biological gender to adopt names from (male or female, doesn't matter to me) and stick with it. Mixing it up just makes it confusing (especially when trying to map lineage).

 

[spartan231490]

Male. I would want my family to have the same name, I would prefer it to be my name, but I would be open to taking her name if she was opposed to giving up her own.
I should clarify, I've seen a family where both parties kept their own last names, it led to a lot of confusion, and it virtually divided the children so that they would only listen to the parent who's name they shared the oldest had the father's name, the youngest had the mothers name. I would never do that to my family.

 

[katsumoto03]

Fuck it. I would never be able to remember that shit, and would never recognize my name when people left notes, or tried to talk to me or whatever.

 

[DanielBrown]

I probably would. My last name has no real connection to me. It was my fathers name, who left the family(to put it nicely) when I was one year old. It wasn't even his real last name, but one he took after his foster parents.
When I was younger there were plans to get rid of the name for all of the family, but I guess the fact that my mothers maiden name is the most common in Sweden was even more boring.

Though if the girl had a weird/bad last name I'd pass and let us both stick with our old ones.

Captcha: om nom nom

:3

 

[miketehmage]

I'd expect her to take my name I think. It may sound sexist but it would just feel wrong to me if she didn't. To me, her taking on the new name is part of the marriage.

If she expects me to get down on one knee, I expect her to take my name.

I mean this in a loving way, by the way. There's something exciting about having your girlfriend become your wife and take on your name, continuing the family. I realise this can work both ways but I don't think women are expected to carry on the family name in the same way men are really.

And I sure as hell wouldn't take hers. I'd feel so un-manly, it'd drive me crazy.

 

[Mariakko]

I would want to keep mine because I like it (It's Kensington). I wouldn't push the name on my potential wife if she didn't want it but I'd still prefer her to take it.

 

[Commissar Sae]

My girlfriend has an awesome last name, so maybe. I like the idea of keeping the family name for kids but I don't really expect any future wife of mine to take my name.